A MAGICAL DAY.. is made of this..

 A MAGICAL DAY.. is made of this..

Daydreaming is always a fun thing to do.. and it's very interesting to know what people like to daydream about.. a big house in the mountains.. getting an unexpected windfall of 1 crore rupees and wondering where to spend it.. giving to charity etc.. Basically most of us daydream about things that would bring us joy and make us happy..

I believe that daydreaming is something truly magical and perhaps we manifest much longed for and cherished hopes and wishes.. wants dreams and desires when we do this! 

Today was a wonderful day that I would love to share with you.. I am in Shimla (at the legendary and much sought after Wildflower Hall in Mashobra actually) with a dear friend from Mumbai.. 

Almost everyone who comes to Shimla definitely goes to Kasauli for one of two very lovely experiences.. either a 14 course tasting menu at the much acclaimed fine dine restaurant NAAR.. or then shopping for heavily discounted bedlinen at the equally well known and loved Kasauli Export House..

Kasauli Export House is owned by the very friendly Sahil Sood's family! Knowing my default Girl Guide nature of "Be Prepared" I had spoken with Sahil from Mumbai to let him know I was planning to visit and he said to me "You can only come to the shop on one condition.. you have to eat lunch with me! Ghar ka asli Punjabi khana aayega.. bata do aap kya khaoge!" We agreed mutually on Rajma Chawal and Aloo Parathas and that was it!

We reached the shop at 1 pm and were given the warmest welcome with glasses of the MOST DELICIOUS fresh orange juice we have ever tasted.. in true Punjabi style with a dash of the much loved ""kaala namak"! Super refreshing and just what we needed after the 3.5 hour drive from Mashobra.. 

His band of boys overwhelmed us with a seemingly endless stream of dohars bedspreads bedsheets tablecloths and whatnot! They were extremely patient and smiled laughed and joked gently with us which was such fun!

After more than an hour and a half we met Sahil's wife Nishi and their son Shaurya both of whom were charming and very nice! We were mentally finished by the time bills were made.. addresses were given and bags were weighed and filled to be dispatched by courier.. and all of this was done super efficiently and quickly!

We were then escorted to a very small and clean restaurant for lunch and washed our hands in what felt like literally liquid ice water from the tap! Hey presto! almost like a magician.. Nishi and Sahil both served us hot Aloo Parathas with piping hot Rajma Chawal.. Boondi Raita.. homemade Mirchi ka Achaar and a scrumptious secret recipe Onion Salad with a farm fresh salad of white radish beetroot and tomatoes! Dessert was a decadent Chocolate Brownie with Vanilla Ice Cream.. of which 2 portions were shared between the 5 of us!

There was warm cozy chatter at the table.. lots of smiles and laughter and sharing of stories.. absolutely family vibes! What made it even more special was that I have met Sahil only ONCE in my life before today and he and his family were so warm  hospitable and loving! Tell me honestly.. who DOES this?? 

We came away overwhelmed with gratitude for the warmth and simple joy we had experienced! People have no time for their own friends and families these days and to take so much trouble for just a customer.. all I can say is that both of us felt very lucky and completely blessed!

We had a very nice drive from Mashobra to Kasauli and back with a very patient driver called Kishan in a super comfy Innova Crysta and even the Shimla traffic wasn't a dampener on our wonderful spirits! 

What I'm wanting to say is that there are magical moments that fill our days.. and if we stop day dreaming and see them.. acknowledge them and are grateful for what they are.. life will be magical and our day dreams will come true too!

Sahil Nishi and Shaurya.. thank you so much for being the magical blessings of today and wishing you the very best for your hotel.. can't wait to come and stay jaldi-jaldi! Always stay the warm generous and caring family you are today! ❤�

ARE WE STILL CAPABLE OF FEELING.. genuine emotions?

 Today has been a day of very mixed emotions for me.. and the rollercoaster really set me thinking.. There was the good.. the not so good.. the comfortable and the awkward.. the touchingly beautiful and the absolutely heartbreaking.. It reminded me of what my (brevet) niece who was studying medicine in Belgaum used to tell me – they could get sunny windy rainy misty warm and cold weather.. all in the same day sometimes!

All these feelings happening pretty much one after the other.. kinda of throws you off balance right? You bet! But what choice do we really have? We just get through the day the best we can.. and think we have shown sympathy empathy kindness compassion and whatever else the situation may have “called for”.. but have we done that? Have we actually been able to do that?

The day began and I received a beautiful warm and loving message from a dear friend who calls herself “emotionally challenged”.. she just wanted to thank me for always “being there and being a one-woman rehab spot”! To be honest.. I was overwhelmed and speechless.. and that’s very rare for me.. most of the time I have plenty to say!

Spent a fun morning at the club in the pool with my friends.. lots of banter and joking and such amazing camaraderie that I actually said a little prayer of gratitude right then and there! To meet almost the same bunch of people five days a week who are always joking smiling and laughing is like a “daily dose” of positivity.. and I am so lucky to get it without even having to ask! Whatever my mood may be when I reach the pool.. I know I will always come away smiling and feeling genuinely blessed..

This afternoon went for a condolence visit and this is something that always makes me (and a number of people) feel extremely awkward.. One is aware and somewhere obliged to maintain a serious and sombre demeanor.. and that isn’t always the easiest thing for me.. To me, death is something that reminds me of the impermanence and fragility of life and teaches me what the deepest level of acceptance really is.. If the person has passed away at a ripe old age, I believe that rather than mourn their death, we should celebrate their life! Am sure that there were people in the family who must have been devastated.. but life has made us very “matter of fact” about it and it has become almost like something we just take in our stride..

Having eaten a very sketchy lunch I was starving by the evening and my favourite roadside sandwichwalla said it would be a 20 minute wait so I went in search of something “nice” to eat.. Called one of my best friends and she promised (and came through too!!) something yummy which were scrumptious “dal ki tikki” and baked spring rolls! Greedy me and generous her.. she is always happy to feed people and also the only friend who I call “hakk se” and say I’m hungry please feed me.. and land up uninvited and so shamelessly! Wouldn’t you call her a blessing? I certainly DO!!

Got home after a super long and tiring day.. and my phone beeped.. it was one of my closest friends (and someone I love dearly).. He sent an emotional voice message telling me he had lost his favourite uncle in Pune.. his voice broke a couple of times and especially in his subsequent messages where it got overwhelming for him.. Finally we spoke with each other and I told him to be grateful that he still HAS the capacity to FEEL so deeply!

There are frequent times and occasions when I think we have become like automatons.. we don’t feel and even if we do.. we don’t show it.. Why are we so “backward about coming forward” and showing our true emotions? Are we scared of being judged or mocked.. or worried that if we show we are vulnerable, people will take advantage?

It’s time to get back in touch with your REAL side.. your AUTHENTIC self.. so feel it like you feel it.. say it like you feel it.. and show it like you feel it! You owe this much honesty to the people who matter most to you so stop trying to be the “Superman” or “Superwoman” all the time! Confession being good for the soul.. I feel very awkward accepting gratitude praise and compliments.. but am learning to do so with some amount of grace!

Please take some time to identify what is holding you back from being “real”.. accept it.. and work on it! We are all “works in progress” but what a wonderful world it would be if we were brave enough to be completely REAL!

THE ART OF RELAXING.. am learning it now!

 We are all different people.. with deifferent personalities.. different moods and different perceptions.. and that is what makes life so interesting!

Confession being good for the soul I must admit to being a hyper personality.. always living life in slightly "fast forward" mode and constantly planning ahead to try and make it all as perfect and seamless as possible!

Guess what? Realization dawned that living like this isn't necessarily the best way to be.. because by focusing on the next moment I'm not enjoying the present moment fully.. and that is a mini tragedy in itself.. 

Life being as unpredictable as it is these days.. moments of joy and happiness are fleeting and ephemeral.. and must be grabbed and held on to for the short time that we have them!

A very dear friend has been telling me for the longest time how it's super important to relax.. slow down and "learn to chill" and "just be".. I agreed in principle but never really put it in practice until he and his family (lovely wife and two wonderful children) brought me to the most gorgeous resort and spa for a three day staycation.. 

I was gently but firmly told to now learn the "art of being" instead of my default "art of doing" to which I vowed to try my best! One would imagine that to relax would be the easiest thing in the world right? Not for me..  

I had to tell myself that it was OKAY not to be doing something all the time.. or planning something all the time.. or talking to someone or making plans to meet or work on my "to do" list and stop being a slave to the clock! 

I became an honorary member of their family for these three days and have done absolutely nothing.. Have learned the art of relaxing and must say I find it very enjoyable! The highlights of this holiday have been the gentle teasing.. the deep discussions.. the sharing and caring.. the freely shared laughter and love that are such an integral part of family life and for these I am grateful from the depths of my soul..

This is the first time anyone has ever taken me away for a holiday and it has been a time I will cherish for always! Because all of them are so private I won't name any names but everlasting and etwrnal gratitude to all four of you PKT and N for adopting me as family.. Lots of love and God bless always!

I return to Mumbai wrapped in an invisible cloak of pampering acceptance love and warmth! It's not the amount of money that has been spent.. the room to suite upgrade.. the exceptional service and delicious food that made it special and an experience to be cherished.. it is the intention with which this invitation was given.. and the joy with which it was received.. One short life to live and what matters more than sharing time receiving and giving love? 

Gifting someone an opportunity and relax is much more than relaxation.. it is also a chance for rejuvenation refreshment rewiring resetting and realignment..

Overwhelming gratitude to you my soul family.. am truly blessed way beyond what mere words can even begin to express.. Who thinks so much and does so much in today's day and age?! God bless all of you and much love always!

Thank you as always for reading and do please remember to share your name at the beginning or end of your comment!

HEARTBREAKING & “HEARTMAKING” at the same time!!

Life throws all kinds of situations and experiences at us all the time.. and we are left with no option but to respond.. Most of the time it’s good stuff like a promotion at work.. maybe a financial windfall.. meeting a special person.. eating a surprisingly delicious meal at a new restaurant etc..

On the other side there is sometimes a plethora of stress with situations like major health problems.. death of a loved one.. financial losses in business or investments.. betrayal by a loved one.. emergency hospitalizations etc.. and so many other situations that I’m not mentioning here..

Am sharing something incredibly stressful that happened to me earlier this week (although sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago).. I was at my house in Lonavala having a super fun relaxed weekend with a few close friends and recovering from a rocking Diwali party.. Had gone to Poona to meet a dear friend and her family who were celebrating a birthday to which I was especially invited..

It was a lovely day but quite tiring and since I had skipped my afternoon siesta, I got into bed on Saturday night looking forward to a nice peaceful night.. Be careful what you wish for.. the fates had something completely to the contrary in store for me that night!

There was a knock at the door (which I slept through) and then my friend insistently waking me up saying there was an emergency! My driver came up with his mobile and Man Friday (Kishore to most of you) telling me calmly but urgently (don’t know how he did that) that Girl Friday (Savita) was throwing up blood and couldn’t breathe and what should he do?! We agreed that he should take her to Bombay Hospital (because it was the closest) Emergency and that I would ask someone to meet him there!

My family doctor (incidentally also best friend) them absolute gem that he is.. rushed there immediately and my driver-cum-right-hand Dinesh and I left for Mumbai at 2 AM.. The drive was harrowing to say the least because everything on the road except us was (seemingly) either a container truck or tanker.. We had to drive slow to make sure that the patient count remained at just one!

Doc spoke with me at least eleven times during that 1 hour 45 minute ride to ask for personal details of Savita.. choice of room and so on.. When someone has been a part of your family and lived with you for 35 years it’s a no-brainer right? I just said it had to be the best room.. the best doctor and the best medical care that money could possibly buy!

Reached the hospital at 3:45 am and crept quietly into the ICU to see her wide awake but exhausted.. on oxygen.. the monitors pipes and tubes completely dwarfing her fairly small being,, She apologized for causing me so much trouble and I told her she would be fine.. sat with her for a while and came back home to get some rest..

I went back in a couple of hours and met the treating specialist Dr. Avya Bansal.. an outstanding pulmonologist and more importantly.. a wonderful human being! He very patiently explained the situation to me in great detail illustrating it with a simple drawing! He was also kind enough to speak with my doctor and explain the situation to him as well.. Which specialist gives you this much time anymore?

We have been truly blessed to have Dr. Bansal looking after her.. his bedside manner is exemplary and he is a very positive and reassuring presence. He is both approachable and immediately responsive.. and it’s such a blessing to meet a doctor who genuinely CARES about his patients! God bless him, Dr. Vishwesh and his team!

Savita spent two days in the ICU and was beautifully looked after and shifted to a private room yesterday (can’t risk any cross infections)! She was grouchy and that irritated me and I was walking around looking (and feeling) like a thundercloud but a long talk with my bestie made me realize that I should calm down.. and I did..

She was nice and cheerful this morning and not grumbling about anything and that gave me the 180 degree turnaround in my mood that I needed as well.. Learning how to stay calm is the most important super power we all need! I went to the pool for a swim (after three days) and felt normal which was such a lovely feeling!

When I say “heartbreaking and heartmaking” I refer to two people.. Savita who was seriously unwell (possibly critical) which was heartbreaking (she’s my little sister) who is now making excellent progress which is heartmaking! My rock star Kishore said something very special to me a short while ago which I would like to share..

He came to my room (ostensibly to make the bed) and said in a very conversational tone“Do you know.. when I go to the village and meet my family, I feel like I am a guest and count the days until I come back HOME and to my FAMILY.. and that is here and you! For all that you do for us (even though we all get cranky sometimes!) and for being such a blessing in our lives (and I am saying this for both of us) I thank you from my heart and know that I am very fortunate to have gotten to work in this house and for your parents and you! Aap ko tahe dil se bahut bahut shukriya!

If that isn’t “heartmaking” tell me what is!! I am blessed and grateful for every joy great and small.. and always will be! Thank you all for your prayers and support for Savita.. it means much more to me than words can express! All going well.. she ought to be home on Saturday!

God is truly great and may His hand always remain on the heads of all those I love especially!

Thank you as always for reading and please add your name at the beginning or end of the comment (should you choose to write one)!!

TECHNOLOGY CAN BE A LIFESAVER.. and was today!!

 I’ve never been a techno buff.. and am actually pretty technophobic but I pulled off a major achievement today (by my standards) and want to share it! So there we were.. my friend Vaishali and I just walking into WINK at the President when all of a sudden.. my sandal broke!

Diwali evening.. most people at home celebrating with their families (including the local cobblers) and me with a broken sandal.. The staff were very helpful and tried to find a cobbler but there wasn’t anyone.. As all of you know.. I can be Humpty Dumpty at the most inopportune times and the last thing I wanted today (or ever) was to fall down!

Walking out of the hotel wasn’t an option.. too dangerous for me to attempt walking with my sandal almost in 2 parts! What to do? The young generation of today is so resourceful.. suddenly Vaishali said to me “Just call home and tell your helper to send your shoes down in a bag.. leave it with security and then use the UBER Courier service to bring your shoes here to the hotel!” How brilliant.. God bless her!

Sounds easy-peasy right? Not so for the technophobic yours truly.. but today I decided that I WOULD do this on my own.. It was a bit of a struggle but I managed and am super proud of myself! Today was a new feather in my cap of technological abilities and achievements! As senior citizens it is imperative in today’s world to have basic++ tech abilities because it’s not fun to be dependent on others to do these silly (but sometimes essential) things for us!

This was a lesson in more ways than one..

1)   1) Make friends with younger people because there will always be times when their different         (not better or worse, just different) skill sets will help you!

2)   2) Always have faith in yourself and your abilities.. if you think you can.. you will definitely be     able to..

3)   3) Be open to accepting offers of help or suggestions from other people.. you’re not always the     sharpest pencil in the drawer or the brightest star in the firmament for that matter!

4)   4) Know and believe that in the technology boom.. that almost every problem (with very few         exceptions) has a fairly simple solution!

5)  5) Embrace technology instead of fearing it.. empower yourself enough to be able to manage         simple things like ordering groceries and meals online.. calling an Uber.. and celebrate             every little victory (it’s NOT little)!Rereading the above list reminds me that this is a pretty         cool message and advice for the new year (tomorrow is Bestu Varas or New Year’s Day             Samvat year 2082..

Re-reading the above list reminds me that this is a pretty cool message and advice for the new year (tomorrow is Bestu Varas or New Year’s Day Samvat year 2082..

Wishing all those of you who celebrate a truly magical and magnificent new year and “Saal Mubaarak”. May it be a perfect day and one that heralds a year filled with faith friendship fortune laughter love and light!

 Thank you (as always) for reading and please add your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

 

RAINY DAYS & SUNDAYS.. how to spend them..

This blog is especially for my fellow Bombayites (sounds so much nicer than saying Mumbaikars.. right?) We’re having a super wet spell and that can be debilitating in the city where most people love to go out and party!

Are you feeling “rained out” and restless being “stuck” at home? How about you shift your perspective just a little bit? You have quiet peaceful time at home with minimal (if any) interruptions.. and there is so much you can do (if you’re so inclined that is)..

The first option that comes to mind is (because I am borderline OCD) to tidy up your cupboard and give away the clothes you haven’t worn in the last six months.. Victims of the floods in both Punjab and Uttaranchal would be overwhelmingly grateful.. and should you not want to extend yourself that far.. the helpers at home would probably be equally if not more grateful..

Another idea is to clean up the photog gallery on your cell phone.. we keep postponing it and then get stressed when the pop up pings saying we have used 92% of the space available! Chances are dim and slim that we will EVER (if at all) watch ALL the videos that come to us on WhatsApp! Most of them go to the Recycle Bin unopened!

How about you decide to step into the kitchen to finally make that salad or dessert or amazing paneer recipe that you’ve been wanting to try for the longest time? As my Dad used to say “No time like the present” so roll up those sleeves.. get out that shopping board.. and get to it now! There is every possibility that you will create a mini (or maxi) culinary masterpiece! It’s also the perfect opportunity for you nitpicky tea and coffee drinkers to get up and LEARN how to make yourself the perfect cup of your favourite brew!

In the event that any of the above options are too much of an effort.. you could sit back and create a few of your favourite playlists on Spotify (which you’ve been planning to to do since God only knows when)! Once you finish that you could also do the same and create a personal list of “to be watched” movies and series on Netflix.. Amazon etc..

Alternatively lie on your bed.. close your eyes and listen to songs about rain.. and be lulled into a state of somnolence to the strains of songs like “Bheegi Bheegi Raaton Mein” “Rimjhim Gire Saawan” “Ghanan Ghanan” or those of you who prefer English melodies like “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head” “It’s Raining Men” or the all time favourite “Rainy Days and Mondays”! What an incredible way to do not very much at all.. and so enjoyably at that!

You could choose to be conventional and make garma garam masala chai and mixed vegetable bhajias.. or be adventurous and go for a walk especially to get soaked in the rain (better to stay home and dry).. or be clever (like me!!) and invite friends over for a fun time of chit-chat.. yummy food and maybe some board games thrown in.. or be a good “planner” and get your “to do list” for the week ready!

Whatever you decide to do.. just remember that this is probably the last Sunday of the year so don’t waste it sleeping all day.. but do whatever makes you happy and brings you joy!! There is not right or wrong way to spend days like these so.. make those calls.. send those messages.. tell those stories.. just stop thinking about it and DO IT!!

As always, thank you so much for reading and have a fantastic rest of the day!!

 

GENEROSITY.. is so easy to build..

We are all born with certain specific personality traits.. and tend to thank or blame our parents for them (depending on what they are)! 

Having been a student of Psychology and lived for 62 years it is obvious that character traits like anger  can get passed down from parents and children.. but then again so can patience.. a love for food can be hereditary while a love for alcohol is not quite as commonly seen!

We often inherit physical characteristics from our parents like the colour of our eyes.. the shape of our noses and even their body structure.. which can be both.. a good and a not so good thing! 

I am personally fascinated by how every human being in the world is a distinctly unique individual.. and that too.. in every way possible - physical mental intellectual social emotional and spiritual..

The diversity in quirks flaws and perceptions is especially very interesting.. I like to believe that we are all "works in progress" and always have the option of working on ourselves to grow learn and evolve into better human beings..

Something interesting happened last week and I would like to share it as it was a major learning for me.. I hosted some friends for a music show and thereafter to dinner at one of my favourite restaurants.. When the bill came to the table.. one friend tried to ask if we could go "Dutch" to which I gave my standard cheesy reply of "We'll go Dutch when we go to Holland"! And that was the end of it.. or so I thought..

Somewhere it bothered me that she felt the need to even ask.. and it made me feel like the friendship became almost but not quite.. transactional.. I had invited them knowing they would love the show and the dinner.. so why did she ask at all.. We spoke about it and cleared it which was great but set me thinking..

My realization was that I have for the longest time had a problem accepting (because I am by default a "giver") be it with presents compliments credit or anything! "Giving" is actually my "love language" and everyone is not like me! 

Generosity is a wonderful virtue and especially when it is paired with gratitude.. and no one's keeping score! There doesn't have to be a rupee spent in order to be generous! Generosity can be inviting someone over for a nice home cooked  meal.. spending time sitting with a sick friend in hospital.. sending flowers for no particular reason.. visiting an elderly relative just to spend time.. sharing something beautiful you have read with someone who would enjoy it..

Generosity can and should be expressed through kindness and concern.. through food.. hugs.. handwritten notes.. surprise messages and relaxed conversations.. It can be shown in so many ways.. and you can keep finding new and interesting ways to do it!

In today's world we all have enough space in our hearts for a little more understanding.. care.. support.. time to spend with special people.. laughter.. light and most of all.. LOVE!!

Whatever you have to give.. go out there and give it to the people who need it.. want it.. are open to receive it and are truly grateful for it! Give freely and generously and be prepared for the tsunami that will come your way in return!

Thank you so much (as always) for reading and if you choose to write a comment.. please share your name before or after you write it! God bless always!!