BEING "MAASI" ON MOTHER'S DAY..

 BEING "MAASI" ON MOTHER'S DAY.. what a feeling!

"Happy Mother's Day" is as American as it gets.. right "up there" with Mom and apple pie.. right? Not absolutely necessary.. in my opinion!

Mother's Day is a day to celebrate those people who brought us into the world and have been consistently the most sacrificing loving giving and understanding people on the planet.. and I agree!

Am irresistibly tempted to share my take on the occasion of Mother's Day this year.. In Hindi (which is our national language) "Maa" means "mother" and "Maasi" means "Maa si or Maa jaisi" which means  like a mother" and that is so lovely!

Traditionally "Maasi" has been the person who has loved you the most (after your parents) and a number of Bollywood movies have shown "Maasi" to be the default "natural choice" for remarriage if a mother passes away leaving young children behind..

Being "Maasi" in India is super fun.. because you get to be "Maa jaisi" with all the joy and none of the responsibilities! You get to do the "fun stuff" without the headache of planning and coordination! You get all the "non-transactional" hugs and kisses and don't have to be the "bad cop" who says "No"!

You get to be the indulgent adult who doesn't have to discipline them.. and the "sounding board" who is often the first "court of appeal" (Can you please explain to Mamma because she isn"t listening to me?)..

Speaking for myself.. I am.. technically speaking.. definitely NOT a mother.. but luckily am "Maasi" to a number of young (and not quite so young" people all of whom call me "Maasi"! All of them are my."betus" and I can't imagine my world and my life without them!

They are the ones who fill that "slightly empty space" in my heart with their unconditional love and acceptance of me just as I am.. with all my faults and failings.. no matter what!

Some of them are from my family and hence related" or they are my friend's children.. and for still others "Maasi" is a brevet title.. but it makes no difference because I love them all the same!

All my "betus" are super special and I am blessed to have them to love pamper and cherish! Whether it is Ujwala (who often gives me "motherly" advice).. Brinda (who tries to save my money).. Rehaan (who's coming over to have lunch with me today.. Radhika (who calls me her "university") Shefali (who actually considers me to b a wise person..) Samir (who's been my quintessential "laddu peda".. SK (who tells me in a million different ways that she loves me).. or Taera (who keeps in touch regularly despite a gruelling work schedule in medical college) or any of the others.. and there are so many more! 

It is an incredibly special feeling for me to be unconditionally loved respected and truly cherished by them and vice versa! ❤️ Who needs the big declarations of love on Mother's Day? Not me for sure.. because my heart is full of gratitude! God bless and thank you so much all my precious "betus" for being in my life.. and know that you are impossibly and madly loved! 

And let's always remember that we are often "mothers" to our friends families colleagues neighbours and staff as well.. whenever we say or do something to nurture.. nourish.. accept.. understand.. solve a problem or "kiss it and make it better (even virtually speaking..) because THAT is the magical power of being "Maasi who is Maa jaisi"! 

My prayer is just that these bonds always remain as sacred pure and beautiful as they are today! The special moments that we share with each other are what help to keep our "lifeboats afloat" when the waters of our lives get choppy!

Thank you ( as always) for reading and Happy Mother's Day to you! If any part of this blog has resonated with you.. please feel free to post a comment and do remember to add your name at the beginning or the end of it!

MAGICAL THINGS HAPPEN.. when you're truly blessed!

Life is a kaleidoscope of colours that keep changing.. some days are smooth as silk while others feel like you’re trying (unsuccessfully) to scale Mt. Everest.. Some days you get the red light at every traffic signal and others you receive a surprise gift when you order something online!

I got a lovely surprise this afternoon.. was at one of my favourite restaurants called Circle 69 for friend with my darling niece who is visiting from Jaipur and an old and very dear friend! Thursday is a “Thai Sabai” day and we ate our way through some delicious and very innovative dishes on the menu thoroughly enjoying ourselves!

To say that the food was scrumptious and the service outstanding would be a gross understatement.. but should convey what a wonderful afternoon it was.. The conversation was relaxed and flowed effortlessly from one topic to another.. and finally after we were thoroughly replete with a most unusual dessert of a Tamarind Sorbet with a Coconut Salsa.. we obviously asked for the bill..

Both our servers just went about their business clearing the table and tidying up generally so I asked for the bill again thinking maybe they didn’t hear me the first time.. That was when they both smiles at us and said “there is no bill today.. your lunch is on us..” When I asked them the reason why.. was it the restaurant’s anniversary or something.. they very sweetly and simply said “You are a regular guest and we are so happy to host you today”!

To say that I was gobsmacked and rendered speechless would be a completely accurate description of what I felt at that moment! Here was absolute generosity of spirit and grace in the most unexpected place! What a sweet gesture and it brought all three of us such joy! A generous tip to our servers Pujan and the other two (unfortunately I don’t know their names) was the only way we could convery our appreciation and gratitude for the magnanimous gesture!

Kudos to Team Circle 69 for being high on culinary prowess.. IQ.. EQ and sheer unadulterated kindness! Would I go back to eat here? In a heartbeat.. and not just for the food or the service but for the warmth and niceness of the people that make the place as welcoming and wonderful as it is! Thank you so very much and know that this afternoon was a special memory that I will always cherish!

The lesson here to that it’s always lovely to give surprises once in a while simply because the joy of the unexpected is always magical! To my mind it’s fun to send flowers for no particular reason.. write a special goodnight message.. make a call to someone who’s definitely not expecting it.. and just do thoughtful and kind little things that end up occupying the biggest spaces in people’s hearts!

God bless everyone for whom gratitude and kindness are a way of life and a “default setting”.. keep being a good person and the world will be good to you too!

Thank you so much (as always) for reading and if you choose to write a comment.. PLEASE add your name at the beginning or the end! God bless and much love always!

 

Happy Women's Day.. to all the special women in my life..

This year I want to celebrate Women's Day by honouring all the incredible women in my life who have inspired me.. taught me.. believed in me.. supported me.. and have been the most amazing role models! I am truly blessed to have so many of them in my life..

Let me begin with my mother.. Mummy (or Vasu as I affectionately called her) was the strongest and also the most strong headed woman I have ever known! Not always the most reasonable person.. but very gutsy! Can never forget how she drove two school friends and me to Shanmukhananda Hall in pouring rain in car where the headlights and horn weren't working and there were no wipers either! That was super brave!

And there are Jana Mahadevan Nalini Chugani and Nandita Jhaveri all of whom were my professors in teacher's training college! I was in a sense "the naughtiest girl in the class" but they chose to look beyond that.. see my potential and nurtured and encouraged me to achieve what I was capable of! Thank you so much for believing in me no matter what and never giving up on me though what was possibly the most exhausting year of my life until then!

Professionally.. every teacher I have worked with has inspired me in more ways than I can explain here.. my dear friend Dinaz Stafford who entrusted her precious street children and "Didis" at Salaam Baalak Trust to my tender care.. my social worker Sucheta Banerjee who taught me courage to handle irascible and unreasonable parents (even when I was confronted with a knife).. my largely Marathi speaking team who guided me gently through the unspoken pathways of how to deal with street children.. Rajeshree Didi who was always patient and gentle.. Rajni Didi who was always in a hurry.. Shubhangi Didi who had to be gently reminded that the toys in class were for the children to PLAY with and not just look at! Milind and Agnes who taught me it was possible to be firm and loving simultaneously..

Moving from professional to personal I have to mention Brinda Jhaveri.. the one person who always loved me unconditionally.. and was a soft "filter" between Mummy's anger and me on numerous occasions! She taught me resilience for sure..

Let’s talk about my friend-cum-mentor plus plus Roshan Billimoria.. she lives in Pune (my monthly trips are to meet her)! She is, in the truest sense.. my “soul sister” and there are just too many parallels in our lives for them to be mere coincidence! She sets an amazing table and runs a household that functions like well-oiled machinery and she makes it all seem effortless (where I know nothing could be further from the truth).. I have learned from her how gentlewomen speak softly and have impeccable manners and are the most gracious hostesses.. of course I am still a “work in progress” but my trying my best.. will never be at her level though..

There are my school friends.. Shriti Kapadia who is my voice of reason and good sense.. Niamat Cassum who has taught me to face life calmly no matter what.. Anu Kohli who spreads sunshine wherever she goes.. Manisha Desai who is so positive that I have never ever heard say anything remotely less than complimentary about anyone.. and Yukti Asher who is the most enthusiastic admin I have ever seen on any WhatsApp group.. always ready to make a plan and always making time for friends..

 My college friends are very special.. Parul Jhaveri who is the one who has taught me always “hosh mein josh mat kho baitho” and always encouraged me to follow my heart.. If I have changed from a tomboy to someone who is presentably dressed it is thanks to Lavina Roy who is the epitome of sartorial elegance.. she is the one who explained to me that when we dress up.. if our shoes are black our handbag must be black too.. if our shoes are beige.. our handbag must be beige too etc.. Smita Mankani.. what do I say about her? She is a living breathing piece of my heart outside my body! Nobody (and I mean nobody except my parents) could possibly love me more than she does and vice versa! She lives the phrase of “open house” and her generosity with hospitality.. food.. and time to “just sit and chat” is legendary! Of course she is also Oliver Twist and not matter how much time I spend with her.. it is never enough!

And then there are friends who are typical to Mumbai “building friends”.. there is Aarti Jhaveri who has demonstrated patience and jaw-dropping hospitality by always hosting me with practised ease and a unbelievable level of warmth! She embodies the essence of “Atithi Devo Bhava” to the ultimate level.. Varsha Chavan who has tried (without much success) to try and teach me to be dignified but also been my partner in crime all through our growing up years together.. we share a lot of secrets that are “TMBM” otherwise known as “Tere Mere Beech Mein”! My neighbour Rashmi Kharbanda.. undemonstrative except for the rare occasions when a spontaneous hug is forthcoming or a sentimental message suddenly pops up on my phone! She shows me how to do some “technical stuff” on the phone (e.g. uploading my boarding pass on Digi Yatra) and is forever telling me to “slow down”!

And last but definitely not the least.. there is Renu Haksar (or Renu Singh as I like to call her).. another one who I think of as “do jism ek jaan” and another part of my heart outside my body! We have taught together.. pretty much read each other’s minds.. give each other good advice and take care of each other no matter what! She is super meticulous and very organized.. am trying my best to be like that but not very successfully yet! We have to talk every night and 10 pm and refer to ourselves as each other’s “human sleeping pills”!

There have been and still are so many others that I could write about but some of them are too private and now I am too tired to type any more! Lastly there is GKG who is the embodiment of every virtue I strive to have as a human being.. genuine.. fearless.. strong and absolutely focused with total clarity of thought and speech! Am not naming her (because there will be hell to pay) but she is the reason I am the person I am today instead of the “lost soul” I was for so long!

 If you are reading this.. and if you receive my “Morning Magic” know that you are special important and a cherished person in my life! I feel incredibly to have met know.. to know you.. to love you.. to be loved by you.. to be inspired and motivated by you and to have you in my life! Thank you for believing in me (more than I believe in myself sometimes)! I am blessed to have all of you as a part of my “cheerleading squad” and promise to honour uphold and keep these relationships and bonds for always!

Thank you so much (as always) for reading and wishing you an exceptionally Happy Women’s Day!! Please do remember to add your name at the beginning or the end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

 God bless and much love always to everyone reading!!

WHAT DO YOU DO when you're stuck?!

So here I am sitting at Bangalore (sorry.. read that as Bengaluru) airport's gate number 5 waiting for the flight to Mumbai to announce boarding.. The Air India flight was acheduled to take off at 7 pm.. that was delayed to 7:45 and now to 8:45..

Airports are wonderful places for my favourite pastime which is "people watching" and it is interesting (to say the very least) to hear the collective crestfallen moans and groans.. and mumbling and grumbling when the delay is announced.. and to see faces go from being crestfallen to irritated to resigned to angry.. to see people going up to the hapless counter staff to demand explanations that are seldom available! 

Considering what's happening in the global scenario.. we are still blessed to be indoors.. safe.. sitting in comfortable chairs and in a sense.. lucky to be given some extra "free time" to be used as we choose!

Mobile phones are a boon and a bane at times like this.. some people are constantly updating their status to friends family and colleagues.. others are maybe sitting and utilizing this time to make their "to do" lists for the week ahead.. 

Some people who are fasting for the holy month of Ramazan are perhaps thinking about and looking forward to the meal they will eat when they get home and break their fast.. 

A few people are venting their frustration towards the situation and airline and just plain and simple annoyed that they have no control over the situation.. We are  all different and human at the end of the day right? It is normal to feel like this however..

My take on this is.. So I haven't been able to send out my "Morning magic" for the last few days.. and chances are high that tonight will be a late night.. so let me use this "free time" as a "bonus" and do a few things..

I said a heartfelt message for world peace to prevail.. for all those who are "stuck" at airports and other countries and unable to get home (for one reason or another).. for everyone to be safe and with their loved ones at the earliest.. for flights to normalize soon.. made my "to do" list for the week ahead and then sat down to write this blog!

At the risk of sounding holier than thou.. less then desirable situations can be opportunities to build faith patience and resilience if we perceive them as such! We need to see the "big picture" and think beyond ourselves.. and make the best of the situation! 

The state of mind we keep ourselves in and the way we handle being in challenging situations defines who we truly are as human beings.. Let's try to be our best selves and stay positive calm and accepting instead of succumbing to annoyance anger and negativity! 

Maybe this is the perfect time to ask yourself "what do you do when you're stuck?"

Thank you as always for reading and please remember to share your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

God bless and wishing you a lovely evening and a great week ahead!

AI.. is Absolutely Intimidating! AI-YO AI-YO AI-YO!!

AI better known as Artificial Intelligence is all set to take over the world pretty much and that is very scary for someone like me who’s pretty much a tech geek! I hear people singing it’s praises and understand that it can be used to do almost everything you could want.. 

I know doctors sometimes refer to it for help with complex diagnoses.. teachers use it for help with drafting reports.. students use it to write more interesting essays.. kitchen enthusiasts use it to make even more delicious food.. and people even use it as a counselling and therapy aid.. Frankly speaking.. this is the part about it that I don’t like..

AI is entering almost every sphere of our lives and replacing people.. it is reducing jobs and the announcements and predictions of the numbers of people being “laid off” from their jobs sounds terrifying! What is the world coming to? It’s bad enough that a number of people now have hundreds (and even thousands) of friends on Facebook but nobody to talk to when they are down in the dumps! How does a computer replace having a friend hug you reassuringly and tell you it’s going to be alright?

People who are closer to my age and still working will be at a complete loss if they lose their jobs now.. especially if they are still supporting their families financially! I don’t ever see myself being happy to do a medical consultation and get a diagnosis and line of treatment from a computer (or a bot or whatever it’s called).. Having taught little children for so many years, I am convinced that nothing and nobody can replace the sunny smile and warm good morning hugs that are shared when the children come into the classroom!

I accept that AI is making a huge impact and creating multiple opportunities for growth and learning.. but am just saying let’s not allow it to “take over” our personal lives! Keep the “human factor” very much alive by drafting and texting your OWN messages.. learn family recipes sitting at the knees of your mother or grandmother.. imbibe family values and beliefs from your parents when you sit to pray eat or talk with each other!

Agreed Artificial Intelligence is a wonderful tool.. but it’s no match for natural stupidity! Think of how much fun it is to sit with your friends and crack silly jokes over beer and wafers! Organize a get together with the friends you went on holiday with and share stories about what you saw and did and relive those memories! Spend quality time with the people and make that “no screen time”! Don’t allow AI to permeate and take over every part of your life!

Unfortunately there are people who are using AI to harm us as well.. there is a video doing the rounds on WhatsApp telling us NOT to help a stranger who purports to be asking for help with his or her phone.. AI doesn’t want your password or money.. this is a way of getting your biometrics.. eye recognition.. voice recognition.. fingerprints etc.. How sad that things have come to a stage where we can not follow our natural human instincts of being kind and helpful.. seemingly innocent situations are fraught with peril too!

Am sure that the very limited amount of technology I use is also to a greater or lesser extent thanks to AI but please keep your life “as real.. as simple and as uncomplicated” as possible! Please understand that I am not rejecting AI (which is impossible to do) but just sharing a gentle reminder not to get excessively “carried away” by it!!

Thank you as always for reading and do remember to add your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY.. to all those of us who love..

Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love.. the people we love.. our friends.. family.. significant others.. teachers.. students.. neighbours.. and a plethora of people besides! Do we ever sit down and think about WHY we love certain people so much?

How about this year we celebrate Valentine’s Day (continuing into tomorrow because I am writing this post late) by telling the people we love “Happy Valentine’s Day and I love you because…” or “Happy Valentine’s Day and what I love about you is…” or “Happy Valentine’s Day and I love it when you… or “Happy Valentine’s Day and I love when we…”

The second part of the sentence could be anything from expressing appreciation for thoughtfulness.. or something like admiring beautiful eyes.. a generous heart.. a patient disposition.. or gratitude for being supportive and understanding.. or something like I love it when you make me the perfect cup of coffee because you know exactly how I like it.. or I love it when we just sit and chat about everything something and nothing all at the same time!

It’s always a lovely feeling to be made to feel special loved and cherished.. and for a change it’s fun to do and say things differently.. How about you tidy up a messy friend’s writing desk to show your love.. or run a couple of errands for a friend whose list is never ending.. or just pack a couple of sandwiches and some fruit and take him or her on a long drive (in a chauffeur driven car or on the top of a double decker bus) and chat and snack for an hour or so..

Somebody wise once wrote “Love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay.. because love isn’t love until you give it away”! This is so true and love doesn’t have to be romantic or filial or friendly or familial.. Love is when you get dropped home and the person waits to make sure you’re safely in the building.. love is when you’re going to check into a boutique hotel for the first time and someone accompanies you make sure everything is kosher.. Love is when someone always eats the “gutli” of the mango saying they like it so that you get to eat the nice part.. love is a stack of freshly washed and perfectly ironed clothes that are still warm to the touch.. Love is when someone texts just to ask how your day is going..

Let’s drop the idea that Valentine’s Day is only for couples that are madly “in love” because that’s just a marketing gimmick.. and that “Galentine’s Day” is only for girlfriends.. Valentine’s Day is a day to recognize value respect and cherish the value of the love we receive (spoken or silent) from everyone in our world!

Today I would like to send love especially to all those of you who read my “Morning Magic” and encourage me to write and share my thoughts.. to everyone in my world who enjoys spending time with me.. to everyone I have the best conversations with.. to everyone who looks after me.. indulges me.. prays for me.. and most of all.. to all those people who bring positive energy to my life!

God bless and Happy Valentine’s Day to you all.. and as always.. thank you so much for reading and I love it when you share your thoughts and comments on the blog (WITH your names please)!!

 

NINE YEARS SINCE YOU’RE GONE DADDY.. I miss you so much!

Today is the 3^rd of February.. and marks nine years since you’re gone Daddy.. gone from the physical world I live in.. but always and very much present and “right here” in my heart! It is often said and commonly believed that the pain of losing someone you love deeply settles with the passage of time.. and nine years is not an insignificant amount of time by any standards..

Why then do I still miss you SO MUCH with each passing day? Why is the pain so raw that tears come to my eyes as soon as I think of you or whenever someone takes your name? Why have you left a gaping hole in my heart so huge that no amount of tears grieving or prayers can fill it? Why isn’t there a magical way of ending the pain of loss and getting complete closure? Why hasn’t medical science been able to make a pill that can cure heartache and heartbreak yet?

As Jainism rightly says.. attachment is not a bad thing.. but it leads to a great deal of pain.. The religion says we should practice “attachment with detachment” but I am asking HOW? How do you not get attached to the one person in the world who has tossed you high up in the air and caught you every time as you were falling.. who pushed you into the deep end of the pool and jumped in immediately to grab and hug you as you floated to the surface gasping for breath.. who taught you to eat perfectly with a knife and fork when you were a really little girl of perhaps 4 or 5 years old?

How do you get over missing someone who started every morning and ended every night with hugs and kisses.. who taught you the difference between right and wrong and to uphold the courage of your conviction no matter what.. who lived by the principle of “don’t do as I say but do as I do”.. who was absolutely meticulous in everything he said and did and who cracked the funniest jokes with the straightest face.. How? It just isn’t humanly possible!

It is always the most difficult day in the year for me because literally minute to minute there is an “action replay” that happens in my head and heart that goes on vividly.. I remember everything that happened that day in heartbreaking detail.. but today I don’t want to dwell on my sorrow..

Gratitude.. kindness.. compassion and karuna are the four solid cornerstones of my life now and it is time to be grateful for and to appreciate all the wonderful people who were around me this day that year.. and thereafter as well.. I am overwhelmed to the doctors nurses and team at Breach Candy Hospital who were so caring kind and respectful in their care for Daddy.. to my helper Kishore who spent that last night at the hospital with Daddy and broke the news gently to me.. to all my friends and family who rallied round to hug me.. hold me.. offer their shoulders for support.. make arrangements for everything that needed to be done in the aftermath of death..

Looking and thinking back.. it was truly overwhelming to have a “patchwork quilt” of wonderfully kind and sensitive people that “came together” to be my safe space during that traumatic time.. and to have so many even today.. people who remember that today is a tough day for me.. who message and call.. who come over just to spend some quiet time with me.. I am not writing names here but you know who you are.. and you are deeply loved appreciated and cherished for having the kindest hearts in the Universe.. Thank you so much for being in my life and making it so much better with your care concern and consideration!

And wherever you are Daddy.. know always that you are loved cherished treasured and missed all the time and every single day.. but I am your daughter and will face the day as you would want me to.. with the bravest smile on my face.. the strongest will to “hold steady” and not break down and the deepest love in my heart..

Thank you so much (as always) for reading and please remember to add your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!