WHAT DO YOU DO when you're stuck?!

So here I am sitting at Bangalore (sorry.. read that as Bengaluru) airport's gate number 5 waiting for the flight to Mumbai to announce boarding.. The Air India flight was acheduled to take off at 7 pm.. that was delayed to 7:45 and now to 8:45..

Airports are wonderful places for my favourite pastime which is "people watching" and it is interesting (to say the very least) to hear the collective crestfallen moans and groans.. and mumbling and grumbling when the delay is announced.. and to see faces go from being crestfallen to irritated to resigned to angry.. to see people going up to the hapless counter staff to demand explanations that are seldom available! 

Considering what's happening in the global scenario.. we are still blessed to be indoors.. safe.. sitting in comfortable chairs and in a sense.. lucky to be given some extra "free time" to be used as we choose!

Mobile phones are a boon and a bane at times like this.. some people are constantly updating their status to friends family and colleagues.. others are maybe sitting and utilizing this time to make their "to do" lists for the week ahead.. 

Some people who are fasting for the holy month of Ramazan are perhaps thinking about and looking forward to the meal they will eat when they get home and break their fast.. 

A few people are venting their frustration towards the situation and airline and just plain and simple annoyed that they have no control over the situation.. We are  all different and human at the end of the day right? It is normal to feel like this however..

My take on this is.. So I haven't been able to send out my "Morning magic" for the last few days.. and chances are high that tonight will be a late night.. so let me use this "free time" as a "bonus" and do a few things..

I said a heartfelt message for world peace to prevail.. for all those who are "stuck" at airports and other countries and unable to get home (for one reason or another).. for everyone to be safe and with their loved ones at the earliest.. for flights to normalize soon.. made my "to do" list for the week ahead and then sat down to write this blog!

At the risk of sounding holier than thou.. less then desirable situations can be opportunities to build faith patience and resilience if we perceive them as such! We need to see the "big picture" and think beyond ourselves.. and make the best of the situation! 

The state of mind we keep ourselves in and the way we handle being in challenging situations defines who we truly are as human beings.. Let's try to be our best selves and stay positive calm and accepting instead of succumbing to annoyance anger and negativity! 

Maybe this is the perfect time to ask yourself "what do you do when you're stuck?"

Thank you as always for reading and please remember to share your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

God bless and wishing you a lovely evening and a great week ahead!

AI.. is Absolutely Intimidating! AI-YO AI-YO AI-YO!!

AI better known as Artificial Intelligence is all set to take over the world pretty much and that is very scary for someone like me who’s pretty much a tech geek! I hear people singing it’s praises and understand that it can be used to do almost everything you could want.. 

I know doctors sometimes refer to it for help with complex diagnoses.. teachers use it for help with drafting reports.. students use it to write more interesting essays.. kitchen enthusiasts use it to make even more delicious food.. and people even use it as a counselling and therapy aid.. Frankly speaking.. this is the part about it that I don’t like..

AI is entering almost every sphere of our lives and replacing people.. it is reducing jobs and the announcements and predictions of the numbers of people being “laid off” from their jobs sounds terrifying! What is the world coming to? It’s bad enough that a number of people now have hundreds (and even thousands) of friends on Facebook but nobody to talk to when they are down in the dumps! How does a computer replace having a friend hug you reassuringly and tell you it’s going to be alright?

People who are closer to my age and still working will be at a complete loss if they lose their jobs now.. especially if they are still supporting their families financially! I don’t ever see myself being happy to do a medical consultation and get a diagnosis and line of treatment from a computer (or a bot or whatever it’s called).. Having taught little children for so many years, I am convinced that nothing and nobody can replace the sunny smile and warm good morning hugs that are shared when the children come into the classroom!

I accept that AI is making a huge impact and creating multiple opportunities for growth and learning.. but am just saying let’s not allow it to “take over” our personal lives! Keep the “human factor” very much alive by drafting and texting your OWN messages.. learn family recipes sitting at the knees of your mother or grandmother.. imbibe family values and beliefs from your parents when you sit to pray eat or talk with each other!

Agreed Artificial Intelligence is a wonderful tool.. but it’s no match for natural stupidity! Think of how much fun it is to sit with your friends and crack silly jokes over beer and wafers! Organize a get together with the friends you went on holiday with and share stories about what you saw and did and relive those memories! Spend quality time with the people and make that “no screen time”! Don’t allow AI to permeate and take over every part of your life!

Unfortunately there are people who are using AI to harm us as well.. there is a video doing the rounds on WhatsApp telling us NOT to help a stranger who purports to be asking for help with his or her phone.. AI doesn’t want your password or money.. this is a way of getting your biometrics.. eye recognition.. voice recognition.. fingerprints etc.. How sad that things have come to a stage where we can not follow our natural human instincts of being kind and helpful.. seemingly innocent situations are fraught with peril too!

Am sure that the very limited amount of technology I use is also to a greater or lesser extent thanks to AI but please keep your life “as real.. as simple and as uncomplicated” as possible! Please understand that I am not rejecting AI (which is impossible to do) but just sharing a gentle reminder not to get excessively “carried away” by it!!

Thank you as always for reading and do remember to add your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY.. to all those of us who love..

Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love.. the people we love.. our friends.. family.. significant others.. teachers.. students.. neighbours.. and a plethora of people besides! Do we ever sit down and think about WHY we love certain people so much?

How about this year we celebrate Valentine’s Day (continuing into tomorrow because I am writing this post late) by telling the people we love “Happy Valentine’s Day and I love you because…” or “Happy Valentine’s Day and what I love about you is…” or “Happy Valentine’s Day and I love it when you… or “Happy Valentine’s Day and I love when we…”

The second part of the sentence could be anything from expressing appreciation for thoughtfulness.. or something like admiring beautiful eyes.. a generous heart.. a patient disposition.. or gratitude for being supportive and understanding.. or something like I love it when you make me the perfect cup of coffee because you know exactly how I like it.. or I love it when we just sit and chat about everything something and nothing all at the same time!

It’s always a lovely feeling to be made to feel special loved and cherished.. and for a change it’s fun to do and say things differently.. How about you tidy up a messy friend’s writing desk to show your love.. or run a couple of errands for a friend whose list is never ending.. or just pack a couple of sandwiches and some fruit and take him or her on a long drive (in a chauffeur driven car or on the top of a double decker bus) and chat and snack for an hour or so..

Somebody wise once wrote “Love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay.. because love isn’t love until you give it away”! This is so true and love doesn’t have to be romantic or filial or friendly or familial.. Love is when you get dropped home and the person waits to make sure you’re safely in the building.. love is when you’re going to check into a boutique hotel for the first time and someone accompanies you make sure everything is kosher.. Love is when someone always eats the “gutli” of the mango saying they like it so that you get to eat the nice part.. love is a stack of freshly washed and perfectly ironed clothes that are still warm to the touch.. Love is when someone texts just to ask how your day is going..

Let’s drop the idea that Valentine’s Day is only for couples that are madly “in love” because that’s just a marketing gimmick.. and that “Galentine’s Day” is only for girlfriends.. Valentine’s Day is a day to recognize value respect and cherish the value of the love we receive (spoken or silent) from everyone in our world!

Today I would like to send love especially to all those of you who read my “Morning Magic” and encourage me to write and share my thoughts.. to everyone in my world who enjoys spending time with me.. to everyone I have the best conversations with.. to everyone who looks after me.. indulges me.. prays for me.. and most of all.. to all those people who bring positive energy to my life!

God bless and Happy Valentine’s Day to you all.. and as always.. thank you so much for reading and I love it when you share your thoughts and comments on the blog (WITH your names please)!!

 

NINE YEARS SINCE YOU’RE GONE DADDY.. I miss you so much!

Today is the 3^rd of February.. and marks nine years since you’re gone Daddy.. gone from the physical world I live in.. but always and very much present and “right here” in my heart! It is often said and commonly believed that the pain of losing someone you love deeply settles with the passage of time.. and nine years is not an insignificant amount of time by any standards..

Why then do I still miss you SO MUCH with each passing day? Why is the pain so raw that tears come to my eyes as soon as I think of you or whenever someone takes your name? Why have you left a gaping hole in my heart so huge that no amount of tears grieving or prayers can fill it? Why isn’t there a magical way of ending the pain of loss and getting complete closure? Why hasn’t medical science been able to make a pill that can cure heartache and heartbreak yet?

As Jainism rightly says.. attachment is not a bad thing.. but it leads to a great deal of pain.. The religion says we should practice “attachment with detachment” but I am asking HOW? How do you not get attached to the one person in the world who has tossed you high up in the air and caught you every time as you were falling.. who pushed you into the deep end of the pool and jumped in immediately to grab and hug you as you floated to the surface gasping for breath.. who taught you to eat perfectly with a knife and fork when you were a really little girl of perhaps 4 or 5 years old?

How do you get over missing someone who started every morning and ended every night with hugs and kisses.. who taught you the difference between right and wrong and to uphold the courage of your conviction no matter what.. who lived by the principle of “don’t do as I say but do as I do”.. who was absolutely meticulous in everything he said and did and who cracked the funniest jokes with the straightest face.. How? It just isn’t humanly possible!

It is always the most difficult day in the year for me because literally minute to minute there is an “action replay” that happens in my head and heart that goes on vividly.. I remember everything that happened that day in heartbreaking detail.. but today I don’t want to dwell on my sorrow..

Gratitude.. kindness.. compassion and karuna are the four solid cornerstones of my life now and it is time to be grateful for and to appreciate all the wonderful people who were around me this day that year.. and thereafter as well.. I am overwhelmed to the doctors nurses and team at Breach Candy Hospital who were so caring kind and respectful in their care for Daddy.. to my helper Kishore who spent that last night at the hospital with Daddy and broke the news gently to me.. to all my friends and family who rallied round to hug me.. hold me.. offer their shoulders for support.. make arrangements for everything that needed to be done in the aftermath of death..

Looking and thinking back.. it was truly overwhelming to have a “patchwork quilt” of wonderfully kind and sensitive people that “came together” to be my safe space during that traumatic time.. and to have so many even today.. people who remember that today is a tough day for me.. who message and call.. who come over just to spend some quiet time with me.. I am not writing names here but you know who you are.. and you are deeply loved appreciated and cherished for having the kindest hearts in the Universe.. Thank you so much for being in my life and making it so much better with your care concern and consideration!

And wherever you are Daddy.. know always that you are loved cherished treasured and missed all the time and every single day.. but I am your daughter and will face the day as you would want me to.. with the bravest smile on my face.. the strongest will to “hold steady” and not break down and the deepest love in my heart..

Thank you so much (as always) for reading and please remember to add your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

HOW INDIAN AM I REALLY.. on Republic Day..

There has been a plethora of messages flooding my phone wishing me “Happy Republic Day” pretty much since I woke up this morning.. Every Hindi tv channel is telecasting an episode that contains a measure of patriotism and the radio channels are playing patriotic songs by various and sundry playback singers and composers.. All very nice and good to watch and listen to but it also set me thinking..

How Indian am I really? In terms of genes and heredity I am 100% “made in India” with both my parents 100% Indian as well.. I am marginally geographically dyslexic since I was born in Dishergarh West Bengal to a Gujarati Jain father and a Surti Rajput Gujarati mother.. After spending the first three years of my life in Durgapur, West Bengal I came to Mumbai, Maharashtra for a short while before my parents relocated to Hancock, New York and THAT was when I felt like I was very “different” for the first time!

On the surface I was as American as the next kid in my class.. but I struggled to understand and speak a different language at home (my mother tongue Gujarati.. At school I made peace with eating weird things like bologna sandwiches and at home I ate foods that were unpronounceable and equally alien to me and my palate! My father although very loving wanted to make sure that I grew up knowing I was INDIAN! A tough lesson to learn at 5 years old when no one could pronounce my name and insisted on calling me “the little Indian girl”.. and I HAD to learn ALL their names! Switching between languages at home became a game for me and I didn’t like losing so my verbal Gujarati became pretty good and my spoken English became very American! There were times and occasions when my mother had to ask me to repeat mysef a few times because I was completely “Yankee Doodle” with drawl and all..

We returned to Mumbai in 1972 just before my 9^th birthday and my Dad was offered a job up in Nabha, Punjab.. Mummy and I went up to what was a land of incredibly hospitable and warm people and 99% Sardar-occupied to see and experience it for ourselves.. After a house party where I was surrounded by little “surds and surdlets” who kept calling me “Gal sun” (instead of Pallavi as I mistakenly thought) and Mummy finally being served a whiskey (after asking FOUR times) we decided that living in Bombay was a more interesting option and returned home at the earliest!

Did I feel Indian then? Heck no! Getting admitted to Queen Mary School drummed it into me without a doubt.. I was admitted in July and had to learn Hindi and Gujarati (both spoken and written) and give the final exam in December if I wanted to be promoted to standard 5! I became “Indian” overnight with the languages.. the food.. learning to communicate with staff and nobody understanding my Yankee Doodle accent!

The years passed by and I grew to become totally “Indian” in spite of studying French and travelling abroad many times! The family intricacies of “kaka kaki mama masi etc.. were explained to me and also the ubiquitous usage of “uncle and aunty” to all other adults who were superior to me in age and henceforth must be respected as such! I integrated really well and did whatever I was told without question which lasted well through college!

Instead of traversing through the 20s to the 60s decadewise.. let me just say that today at 62+ I am completely Indian! I LOVE Indian textiles.. food.. hospitality.. music.. family values and culture.. What I do NOT like at all is the corruption that runs rampant through most channels in the country.. the commercialization of religion and education (am still an old fashioned idealist).. the filthy bathrooms that you can smell before you see them.. the fact that dowry still exists and lastly.. that we are still very much on the backfoot as far as retaliation to terror attacks is concerned!

I love travelling to different countries.. adore French perfume and am a diehard fan of Belgian soap.. I love the quality of rubber bands and safety pins they sell at Daiso and can only wear On Cloud shoes.. (That’s for medical and practical reasons).. I Just wish Indian manufacturers and retailers had higher standards of integrity and that in return for the insanely high taxes we pay.. we had better roads and infrastructure! Am grateful for the excellent medical care we have here but wish it was more affordable and available to the general population..

On Republic Day 2026, I am proud to say I am Indian but as with all things these days.. conditions apply! Let’s all vow to be more responsible citizens and caring human beings with gratitude.. kindness.. compassion and karuna towards those less fortunate!

As always, thank you so much for reading and do remember to share your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

Happy Republic Day!

 

 

HOW WAS THE FIRST DAY OF YOUR NEW YEAR? Tell me..

The 1st of January means different things to different people.. but it definitely isnt "just another day" for any of us! 

For some of us it's an opportunity to make resolutions (which we may or may not keep).. a chance to "fix" or make amends for something we messed up on earlier.. a day for new beginnings or at the very least.. it's a day that we would like to like to make special and memorable!

At this point you're probably wondering how the first day of MY new year was so let me tell you.. it was absolutely magical and one that I will cherish all through the year! Did I do something super different from my daily thing? 

Not really.. but.. I had put some serious thought into the kind of day I wanted and so.. A couple of my closest friends did a dinner and sleep over so we chatted until we were overtaken by tsunami waves of sleep!

We woke up to a nice cozy companionable chat at the table with chai.. fruit and the classic Gujarati mainstay.. khakhra! Showered and dressed in record time.. lit a lamp at the altar.. said prayers of gratitude and left for a fun brunch at my favourite restaurant Mag St. Cafe!

There were two little boys sitting at the table next to ours with their father and I was absolutely fascinated watching their interaction.. He was totally engrossed in discussing the menu with various tastes and textures with the children.. and then he demonstrated very patiently the art of wielding a fork and knife to them.. He did it perfectly.. encouraging them and praising their efforts when they managed quite well..

Having taught pre-school children for 25 years I made it a point to tell the father what a joy it was to see a completely "present and hands on" Dad doing what would usually be done by the mother! He smiled and said he absolutely loved spending time doing big and small things with his children! 

That really struck a chord with me.. we need to remember to find joy in everything we do - be it big or small and never think we are "too grown up" to see the magic around us! In these times of AI and advanced technology it was so refreshing to see father and sons enjoying the simple joy of eating together!

We are a scrumptious lunch and after that walked around the corner to Sukho Thai.. I love pampering people who are special to me so we went for a super relaxing foot massage where we all fell asleep! 

I dropped the girls home and after all the physical joys were enjoyed.. went to spend some quiet time with my guru for a little dose of spirituality and some important guidance.. She prayed and blessed me and I came away fully restored in all.. head heart and soul..

There has to be a balance in every day so I got home to do some serious tidying up and rearranging of half a cupboard which I had been procrastinating on for over a month! THAT was my achievement for the day and now feeling virtuous.. I am treating myself to soing what I love.. writing a blog!

Today was a lovely mix of spending quality time with the people I love.. practising gratitude actively.. getting divine blessings and doing what I love most! The cherry on the cake is packing my swimming bag for tomorrow.. my tattoo has healed and I now have permission to go back to my all-time favourite place.. the pool! 

Before you go to sleep tonight.. take a few minutes to reflect.. and see how many "magical moments" you had in your day.. you will probably be pleasantly surprised!

As always.. thank you so much for reading and wishing you an absolutely wonderful rewarding and fulfilling year ahead! 

Happy New Year!

P.S. Please share your name in the event that you decide to post a comment! Thank you!

DHURANDHAR.. it’s about the choices we make..

There is a movie that Bollywood has brought us called “Dhurandhar” recently.. it translates to something “intensely powerful.. and that’s exactly what this movie WAS.. intense and powerful in addition to being extremely gory violent and chock a block full of foul language..

I didn’t go in expecting a fairytale.. and was told that I should just close my eyes during the gory scenes so I went mentally prepared (or so I thought).. The movie basically traces a trail of terror attacks launched by Pakistan on India beginning with the Kandahar hijacking..

The movie started and very soon the violene started and then the gore and it just kept getting more and more intense until it got to a point where one of the heroes (?) picks up a 5 kg weight from a vegetable cart and smashes someone’s head to a bloody pulpy mess with it! That was the point at which my friend and I walked out of the theatre and came home.. it took a good twenty minutes of sitting quietly holding hands and waiting for our heartbeats to slow down and our pulses to normalize before we could affirm to ourselves that “NOW.. all is well.. all is well”..

When I spent some time reflecting on the experience.. I realized that the film disturbed me perhaps a little disproportionately (because of my close call on 26/11) but also for other reasons.. I would just like to share my reasons here and of course I would welcome other opinions as well but this is a sort of catharsis for me..

First and foremost.. I go to a movie to be entertained.. The way I see it is that we all have stress in our lives.. so why would we want to spend money and go to be frightened out of our wits and be disturbed out of our minds? My idea of entertainment is a nice “happy-clappy chick flick” that has a happy ever after ending.. or else smething truly inspirational that brings me a message..

I am truly amazed at the number of people who have loved the movie.. the special effects and cinematography may be wonderful but SO GORY.. is it possible to walk out of the theatre unmoved and unaffected when it ends? Am told on good authority that the sequel to this movie which is expected to release early next year (2026) is ten times more intense than this one.. that that is scary!

I know it’s a very “guy thing” to enjoy watching violence and action.. but who enjoys gore and bloodshed? It was shocking for me to see the absolute depths of cruelty that human beings are capable of inflicting on each other! Maybe I am too much of a “softie” but I want to know what makes us choose to watch films like these..

We are pleading stress at home.. pressure at the workplace and challenges in relationships.. shouldn’t we be watching reading and listening to things that inspire us.. enlighten us and uplift us? Somewhere along the way.. these scenes and dialogues stay in our minds and play on our minds too.. and pulling ourselves out of those feelings becomes difficult!

Life is full of choices.. and all I want to say is that I choose gratitude.. kindness.. compassion and “karuna” over anger greed violence and cruelty every time! That is my “mantra and I believe in it so strongly that I have had it tattooed on my forearm so it’s an unspoken gentle reminder every time I look at it and am reassured that “all is well”.. The choices we make are what define us as human beings.. and that’s very important food for thought..

Thank you as always for reading and do please share your name along with the comment (if you should choose to write one).. Feedback is always welcome too and once again I reiterate.. these are simply MY thoughts!