HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO YOU Daddy.. wherever you are!

What IS it about Daddies and their daughters that is so magical? Do all Daddies see themselves as knights in shining armour that wait eagerly for the blessing of a little princess to cherish guard and protect? Do they feel this level of being fiercely protective and loving simultaneously towards any other human being? Unlikely..

I have (obviously) never been a father but based on stories I have heard growing up.. my Dad always wanted a little girl! Not that he wasn’t happy when my brother was born.. but when I arrived amid a lot of drama and stress with my mother having gone through a high risk toxaemia pregnancy and weighing a mere 4 pounds despite being a Caesarean delivery.. the joy and relief were both unmistakable!

For someone was was pretty unexpressive and stoical, he actually “blossomed” into this extremely demonstrative and loving father that wore his heart absolutely on his sleeve! He used to make up songs especially for me (when I was just a baby) and insist that Mummy hold me and put the telephone to my ear so he could sing them to me (often in the middle of a working day)! When you stop to consider that the first call made after my birth was not to my grandparents, but to confirm an order for a beautiful necklace and pair of matching earrings.. that pretty much says it all!

Childhood was a magical time filled with picnics vacations food and fun.. love and laughter! Most weekend mornings I remember waking up wearing my pyjamas and wrapped in my quilt lying in the boot of the car.. constant surprise driving trips to Lonavala.. Khandala.. Poona and even Mahabaleshwar etc.. He used to sing Bengali popular music and Gujarati folk songs on the way so I grew up perhaps not with understanding.. but definitely with appreciation!

He believed that travel and exposure to different experiences was the best way to learn and grow so we did plenty of that.. Being a firm but fair disciplinarian.. I learned to stay and “make do” in all kind of places from ashrams to dharamshalas (1 star) to Government circuit houses and guest houses (3 star) to the fanciest of hotels (5 stars)! Would I ever be the little brat running around a restaurant screaming while waiting to be served? You’ve got to be kidding.. it would be word games or riddles or jokes or being instructed on the correct way to hold and wield a fork and knife.. quietly!

I remember how for my tenth birthday (first double digit birthday and for that reason very special) I asked for a Barbie Townhouse.. indulgent in the extreme but also very clear that he wanted me to grow up with more than two ideas in my head.. the Barbie townhouse came and along with it.. two cartons full to the top with abridged versions of all the classics from A Tale of Two Cities to The Taming of The Shrew to Heidi to Little Women to What Katy Did and a whole lot more besides! Is it surprising that I loved essay writing the most in school?!

Growing up as a teenager I had my icons in Abba.. Lionel Richie.. Wham and The Carpenters.. and he understood perfectly that this phase had to happen and although he wouldn’t allow posters to be put up on the walls.. he got a big softboard for my room and we were both happy! I was given pocket money weekly with the warning that nothing more would be forthcoming until the next week but at the same time the reassurance that I could spend it on whatever I wanted (and there would be no questions asked)!

Believe it or not.. he was convinced that girls were equal to or maybe even superior to boys and that’s the reason he taught me how to repair a burnt out fuse (this was before the days of the ACB or Automatic Circuit Breaker).. change a bulb.. change a tyre that was punctured.. and how to choose and buy the best fruits and vegetables from the market! What incredible life lessons they were and I am truly blessed to have received them with a lot of love and patience!

His work ethic was amazing.. sometimes 12 to 16 hours a day and later on as he got older.. 9:30 to 5:30 at the office but any calls from home had to be put through to him immediately.. no matter who he was sitting with at the time! I could have been calling to complain about something or crying about something and the response was always a patient hearing.. a gentle suggestion or else a promise that it would be dealt with once he got home from work!

Thank you Daddy for teaching me that while cooking.. the integrity of flavour of the vegetables must be enhanced and not suppressed with spices.. that a hotel room must always be checked before booking (those were the days when we could).. that punctuality was the politeness not only of princes but also of his princess.. and that as I went through my professional life.. most times I would need to choose between being efficient and being popular.. and that I think I managed pretty well!

When Disney invited me to Hong Kong for an interview (as Early Childhood consultant on a hugely popular show called Playhouse Disney), he was as proud as a cat with two tails.. after him I was the only person in our family to be invited abroad for a job interview! It wasn’t until he explained to me that I even understood that it WAS actually a big deal!

He gloried in me and I gloried in him and there can never be anyone else quite as special.. but God has been extremely kind and there are P1 and P2 who have stepped up magnificently.. filled the gaps and make sure that I am protected cherished looked after and loved unconditionally! I feel like the luckiest daughter in the world and Happy Father’s Day wherever you are Daddy.. know that you will always be madly adored loved cherished and missed.. in the magical way only daughters can!!

Thank you as always for reading and please leave your name before or after the comment (if you should choose to write one)!

Happy Father’s Day to all those of you who are lucky enough to still have them!!

 

 

 

WAKE UP CALLS.. are necessary!

 WAKE UP CALLS.. are necessary!

What a lovely feeling it is when life is chugging along smoothly.. and then all of a sudden.. wham! A number of things will go haywire and generate all kinds of stress that you don't want!

In my mind.. the last couple of days have been challenging to say the least! My trusty Lenovo desktop computer suddenly went kamikaze on me.. I kept trying to "shut down" but like the proverbial bad penny.. it kept restarting! The fan inside also went beserk and was whirring and making a racket!

I belong to a generation that likes to believe that rebooting is the solution to most problems but.. no! Nothing worked so I called the techie home.. he checked and said it would have to be taken to their service centre so off he went with my precious cargo.. hopefully it should be fixed and back home soon!

The powers that be didn't think that was enough so the pressure pump that takes care of the water supply in two of my bathrooms suddenly just stopped working! Called my plumber who declared gleefully that he is in "gaon" for a month! Hearing my crestfallen voice he kindly arranged for his team to come and take a look.. and they did! 

We never do things by halves so apparently it's got to be replaced for a ridiculously large amount of money.. but German pumps are the best so I paid up (not very happily though it must be confessed)! It will be installed tomorrow but until then we are managing comfortably..

The internet connectivity dropped to 56 mbps on a Jio 150 mbps plan so that was another SOS call which fortunately was addressed and resolved very quickly thank God!

The crowning glory happened at my house in Lonavala.. I had a small Godrej safe (empty) that was kept with some extra stuff.. Some desperate hopeful had attempted to open it (unsuccessfully) and in frustration (I think) broke the handle! Brought it to Mumbai and contacted Godrej who sent someone called Subhash to my house yesterday..

It was the end of what must have been a long and tiring day for him.. but this man was exceedingly polite patient and gracious.. He was carrying an extremely heavy backpack and when I offered him tea coffee or a cold drink requested a glass of water.. He did his work quietly.. refused an advance and tip (even when I offered it) and before he left.. told me he was a handyman and could do carpentry electrical and plumbing work as well!

When I mentioned my pressure pump problem he immediately offered to take a look but I told him it was being taken care of.. My house was his last call of the day and am sure he was tired and wanting to get home.. He asked me to please save his number and share it with anyone who needed help.. 

Think about it.. this is someone who goes from house to house in the scorching sun and is still so pleasant and kind! He was helpful gracious and smiling.. and it was a wake up call to me to think that we can all sometimes behave so entitled and a little rude and snappy and blame it on the heat! And I had the good fortune to meet someone who has a tough job but keeps a wonderful temperament! 

Made me count my blessings and resolve to try and be pleasant kind understanding and patient no matter what the circumstances because at the end of the day.. everyone is fighting a battle that you don't know anything about! 

God bless Subhashjee and do get in touch with me if you need him for any small repair jobs! Am also very grateful for the "wake up" call and lesson that although he didn't teach.. I learned!

Thank you as always for reading and please share your name at the beginning or end of the comment (should you choose to write one)!

BEING "MAASI" ON MOTHER'S DAY..

 BEING "MAASI" ON MOTHER'S DAY.. what a feeling!

"Happy Mother's Day" is as American as it gets.. right "up there" with Mom and apple pie.. right? Not absolutely necessary.. in my opinion!

Mother's Day is a day to celebrate those people who brought us into the world and have been consistently the most sacrificing loving giving and understanding people on the planet.. and I agree!

Am irresistibly tempted to share my take on the occasion of Mother's Day this year.. In Hindi (which is our national language) "Maa" means "mother" and "Maasi" means "Maa si or Maa jaisi" which means  like a mother" and that is so lovely!

Traditionally "Maasi" has been the person who has loved you the most (after your parents) and a number of Bollywood movies have shown "Maasi" to be the default "natural choice" for remarriage if a mother passes away leaving young children behind..

Being "Maasi" in India is super fun.. because you get to be "Maa jaisi" with all the joy and none of the responsibilities! You get to do the "fun stuff" without the headache of planning and coordination! You get all the "non-transactional" hugs and kisses and don't have to be the "bad cop" who says "No"!

You get to be the indulgent adult who doesn't have to discipline them.. and the "sounding board" who is often the first "court of appeal" (Can you please explain to Mamma because she isn"t listening to me?)..

Speaking for myself.. I am.. technically speaking.. definitely NOT a mother.. but luckily am "Maasi" to a number of young (and not quite so young" people all of whom call me "Maasi"! All of them are my."betus" and I can't imagine my world and my life without them!

They are the ones who fill that "slightly empty space" in my heart with their unconditional love and acceptance of me just as I am.. with all my faults and failings.. no matter what!

Some of them are from my family and hence related" or they are my friend's children.. and for still others "Maasi" is a brevet title.. but it makes no difference because I love them all the same!

All my "betus" are super special and I am blessed to have them to love pamper and cherish! Whether it is Ujwala (who often gives me "motherly" advice).. Brinda (who tries to save my money).. Rehaan (who's coming over to have lunch with me today.. Radhika (who calls me her "university") Shefali (who actually considers me to b a wise person..) Samir (who's been my quintessential "laddu peda".. SK (who tells me in a million different ways that she loves me).. or Taera (who keeps in touch regularly despite a gruelling work schedule in medical college) or any of the others.. and there are so many more! 

It is an incredibly special feeling for me to be unconditionally loved respected and truly cherished by them and vice versa! ❤️ Who needs the big declarations of love on Mother's Day? Not me for sure.. because my heart is full of gratitude! God bless and thank you so much all my precious "betus" for being in my life.. and know that you are impossibly and madly loved! 

And let's always remember that we are often "mothers" to our friends families colleagues neighbours and staff as well.. whenever we say or do something to nurture.. nourish.. accept.. understand.. solve a problem or "kiss it and make it better (even virtually speaking..) because THAT is the magical power of being "Maasi who is Maa jaisi"! 

My prayer is just that these bonds always remain as sacred pure and beautiful as they are today! The special moments that we share with each other are what help to keep our "lifeboats afloat" when the waters of our lives get choppy!

Thank you ( as always) for reading and Happy Mother's Day to you! If any part of this blog has resonated with you.. please feel free to post a comment and do remember to add your name at the beginning or the end of it!

MAGICAL THINGS HAPPEN.. when you're truly blessed!

Life is a kaleidoscope of colours that keep changing.. some days are smooth as silk while others feel like you’re trying (unsuccessfully) to scale Mt. Everest.. Some days you get the red light at every traffic signal and others you receive a surprise gift when you order something online!

I got a lovely surprise this afternoon.. was at one of my favourite restaurants called Circle 69 for friend with my darling niece who is visiting from Jaipur and an old and very dear friend! Thursday is a “Thai Sabai” day and we ate our way through some delicious and very innovative dishes on the menu thoroughly enjoying ourselves!

To say that the food was scrumptious and the service outstanding would be a gross understatement.. but should convey what a wonderful afternoon it was.. The conversation was relaxed and flowed effortlessly from one topic to another.. and finally after we were thoroughly replete with a most unusual dessert of a Tamarind Sorbet with a Coconut Salsa.. we obviously asked for the bill..

Both our servers just went about their business clearing the table and tidying up generally so I asked for the bill again thinking maybe they didn’t hear me the first time.. That was when they both smiles at us and said “there is no bill today.. your lunch is on us..” When I asked them the reason why.. was it the restaurant’s anniversary or something.. they very sweetly and simply said “You are a regular guest and we are so happy to host you today”!

To say that I was gobsmacked and rendered speechless would be a completely accurate description of what I felt at that moment! Here was absolute generosity of spirit and grace in the most unexpected place! What a sweet gesture and it brought all three of us such joy! A generous tip to our servers Pujan and the other two (unfortunately I don’t know their names) was the only way we could convery our appreciation and gratitude for the magnanimous gesture!

Kudos to Team Circle 69 for being high on culinary prowess.. IQ.. EQ and sheer unadulterated kindness! Would I go back to eat here? In a heartbeat.. and not just for the food or the service but for the warmth and niceness of the people that make the place as welcoming and wonderful as it is! Thank you so very much and know that this afternoon was a special memory that I will always cherish!

The lesson here to that it’s always lovely to give surprises once in a while simply because the joy of the unexpected is always magical! To my mind it’s fun to send flowers for no particular reason.. write a special goodnight message.. make a call to someone who’s definitely not expecting it.. and just do thoughtful and kind little things that end up occupying the biggest spaces in people’s hearts!

God bless everyone for whom gratitude and kindness are a way of life and a “default setting”.. keep being a good person and the world will be good to you too!

Thank you so much (as always) for reading and if you choose to write a comment.. PLEASE add your name at the beginning or the end! God bless and much love always!

 

Happy Women's Day.. to all the special women in my life..

This year I want to celebrate Women's Day by honouring all the incredible women in my life who have inspired me.. taught me.. believed in me.. supported me.. and have been the most amazing role models! I am truly blessed to have so many of them in my life..

Let me begin with my mother.. Mummy (or Vasu as I affectionately called her) was the strongest and also the most strong headed woman I have ever known! Not always the most reasonable person.. but very gutsy! Can never forget how she drove two school friends and me to Shanmukhananda Hall in pouring rain in car where the headlights and horn weren't working and there were no wipers either! That was super brave!

And there are Jana Mahadevan Nalini Chugani and Nandita Jhaveri all of whom were my professors in teacher's training college! I was in a sense "the naughtiest girl in the class" but they chose to look beyond that.. see my potential and nurtured and encouraged me to achieve what I was capable of! Thank you so much for believing in me no matter what and never giving up on me though what was possibly the most exhausting year of my life until then!

Professionally.. every teacher I have worked with has inspired me in more ways than I can explain here.. my dear friend Dinaz Stafford who entrusted her precious street children and "Didis" at Salaam Baalak Trust to my tender care.. my social worker Sucheta Banerjee who taught me courage to handle irascible and unreasonable parents (even when I was confronted with a knife).. my largely Marathi speaking team who guided me gently through the unspoken pathways of how to deal with street children.. Rajeshree Didi who was always patient and gentle.. Rajni Didi who was always in a hurry.. Shubhangi Didi who had to be gently reminded that the toys in class were for the children to PLAY with and not just look at! Milind and Agnes who taught me it was possible to be firm and loving simultaneously..

Moving from professional to personal I have to mention Brinda Jhaveri.. the one person who always loved me unconditionally.. and was a soft "filter" between Mummy's anger and me on numerous occasions! She taught me resilience for sure..

Let’s talk about my friend-cum-mentor plus plus Roshan Billimoria.. she lives in Pune (my monthly trips are to meet her)! She is, in the truest sense.. my “soul sister” and there are just too many parallels in our lives for them to be mere coincidence! She sets an amazing table and runs a household that functions like well-oiled machinery and she makes it all seem effortless (where I know nothing could be further from the truth).. I have learned from her how gentlewomen speak softly and have impeccable manners and are the most gracious hostesses.. of course I am still a “work in progress” but my trying my best.. will never be at her level though..

There are my school friends.. Shriti Kapadia who is my voice of reason and good sense.. Niamat Cassum who has taught me to face life calmly no matter what.. Anu Kohli who spreads sunshine wherever she goes.. Manisha Desai who is so positive that I have never ever heard say anything remotely less than complimentary about anyone.. and Yukti Asher who is the most enthusiastic admin I have ever seen on any WhatsApp group.. always ready to make a plan and always making time for friends..

 My college friends are very special.. Parul Jhaveri who is the one who has taught me always “hosh mein josh mat kho baitho” and always encouraged me to follow my heart.. If I have changed from a tomboy to someone who is presentably dressed it is thanks to Lavina Roy who is the epitome of sartorial elegance.. she is the one who explained to me that when we dress up.. if our shoes are black our handbag must be black too.. if our shoes are beige.. our handbag must be beige too etc.. Smita Mankani.. what do I say about her? She is a living breathing piece of my heart outside my body! Nobody (and I mean nobody except my parents) could possibly love me more than she does and vice versa! She lives the phrase of “open house” and her generosity with hospitality.. food.. and time to “just sit and chat” is legendary! Of course she is also Oliver Twist and not matter how much time I spend with her.. it is never enough!

And then there are friends who are typical to Mumbai “building friends”.. there is Aarti Jhaveri who has demonstrated patience and jaw-dropping hospitality by always hosting me with practised ease and a unbelievable level of warmth! She embodies the essence of “Atithi Devo Bhava” to the ultimate level.. Varsha Chavan who has tried (without much success) to try and teach me to be dignified but also been my partner in crime all through our growing up years together.. we share a lot of secrets that are “TMBM” otherwise known as “Tere Mere Beech Mein”! My neighbour Rashmi Kharbanda.. undemonstrative except for the rare occasions when a spontaneous hug is forthcoming or a sentimental message suddenly pops up on my phone! She shows me how to do some “technical stuff” on the phone (e.g. uploading my boarding pass on Digi Yatra) and is forever telling me to “slow down”!

And last but definitely not the least.. there is Renu Haksar (or Renu Singh as I like to call her).. another one who I think of as “do jism ek jaan” and another part of my heart outside my body! We have taught together.. pretty much read each other’s minds.. give each other good advice and take care of each other no matter what! She is super meticulous and very organized.. am trying my best to be like that but not very successfully yet! We have to talk every night and 10 pm and refer to ourselves as each other’s “human sleeping pills”!

There have been and still are so many others that I could write about but some of them are too private and now I am too tired to type any more! Lastly there is GKG who is the embodiment of every virtue I strive to have as a human being.. genuine.. fearless.. strong and absolutely focused with total clarity of thought and speech! Am not naming her (because there will be hell to pay) but she is the reason I am the person I am today instead of the “lost soul” I was for so long!

 If you are reading this.. and if you receive my “Morning Magic” know that you are special important and a cherished person in my life! I feel incredibly to have met know.. to know you.. to love you.. to be loved by you.. to be inspired and motivated by you and to have you in my life! Thank you for believing in me (more than I believe in myself sometimes)! I am blessed to have all of you as a part of my “cheerleading squad” and promise to honour uphold and keep these relationships and bonds for always!

Thank you so much (as always) for reading and wishing you an exceptionally Happy Women’s Day!! Please do remember to add your name at the beginning or the end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

 God bless and much love always to everyone reading!!

WHAT DO YOU DO when you're stuck?!

So here I am sitting at Bangalore (sorry.. read that as Bengaluru) airport's gate number 5 waiting for the flight to Mumbai to announce boarding.. The Air India flight was acheduled to take off at 7 pm.. that was delayed to 7:45 and now to 8:45..

Airports are wonderful places for my favourite pastime which is "people watching" and it is interesting (to say the very least) to hear the collective crestfallen moans and groans.. and mumbling and grumbling when the delay is announced.. and to see faces go from being crestfallen to irritated to resigned to angry.. to see people going up to the hapless counter staff to demand explanations that are seldom available! 

Considering what's happening in the global scenario.. we are still blessed to be indoors.. safe.. sitting in comfortable chairs and in a sense.. lucky to be given some extra "free time" to be used as we choose!

Mobile phones are a boon and a bane at times like this.. some people are constantly updating their status to friends family and colleagues.. others are maybe sitting and utilizing this time to make their "to do" lists for the week ahead.. 

Some people who are fasting for the holy month of Ramazan are perhaps thinking about and looking forward to the meal they will eat when they get home and break their fast.. 

A few people are venting their frustration towards the situation and airline and just plain and simple annoyed that they have no control over the situation.. We are  all different and human at the end of the day right? It is normal to feel like this however..

My take on this is.. So I haven't been able to send out my "Morning magic" for the last few days.. and chances are high that tonight will be a late night.. so let me use this "free time" as a "bonus" and do a few things..

I said a heartfelt message for world peace to prevail.. for all those who are "stuck" at airports and other countries and unable to get home (for one reason or another).. for everyone to be safe and with their loved ones at the earliest.. for flights to normalize soon.. made my "to do" list for the week ahead and then sat down to write this blog!

At the risk of sounding holier than thou.. less then desirable situations can be opportunities to build faith patience and resilience if we perceive them as such! We need to see the "big picture" and think beyond ourselves.. and make the best of the situation! 

The state of mind we keep ourselves in and the way we handle being in challenging situations defines who we truly are as human beings.. Let's try to be our best selves and stay positive calm and accepting instead of succumbing to annoyance anger and negativity! 

Maybe this is the perfect time to ask yourself "what do you do when you're stuck?"

Thank you as always for reading and please remember to share your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

God bless and wishing you a lovely evening and a great week ahead!

AI.. is Absolutely Intimidating! AI-YO AI-YO AI-YO!!

AI better known as Artificial Intelligence is all set to take over the world pretty much and that is very scary for someone like me who’s pretty much a tech geek! I hear people singing it’s praises and understand that it can be used to do almost everything you could want.. 

I know doctors sometimes refer to it for help with complex diagnoses.. teachers use it for help with drafting reports.. students use it to write more interesting essays.. kitchen enthusiasts use it to make even more delicious food.. and people even use it as a counselling and therapy aid.. Frankly speaking.. this is the part about it that I don’t like..

AI is entering almost every sphere of our lives and replacing people.. it is reducing jobs and the announcements and predictions of the numbers of people being “laid off” from their jobs sounds terrifying! What is the world coming to? It’s bad enough that a number of people now have hundreds (and even thousands) of friends on Facebook but nobody to talk to when they are down in the dumps! How does a computer replace having a friend hug you reassuringly and tell you it’s going to be alright?

People who are closer to my age and still working will be at a complete loss if they lose their jobs now.. especially if they are still supporting their families financially! I don’t ever see myself being happy to do a medical consultation and get a diagnosis and line of treatment from a computer (or a bot or whatever it’s called).. Having taught little children for so many years, I am convinced that nothing and nobody can replace the sunny smile and warm good morning hugs that are shared when the children come into the classroom!

I accept that AI is making a huge impact and creating multiple opportunities for growth and learning.. but am just saying let’s not allow it to “take over” our personal lives! Keep the “human factor” very much alive by drafting and texting your OWN messages.. learn family recipes sitting at the knees of your mother or grandmother.. imbibe family values and beliefs from your parents when you sit to pray eat or talk with each other!

Agreed Artificial Intelligence is a wonderful tool.. but it’s no match for natural stupidity! Think of how much fun it is to sit with your friends and crack silly jokes over beer and wafers! Organize a get together with the friends you went on holiday with and share stories about what you saw and did and relive those memories! Spend quality time with the people and make that “no screen time”! Don’t allow AI to permeate and take over every part of your life!

Unfortunately there are people who are using AI to harm us as well.. there is a video doing the rounds on WhatsApp telling us NOT to help a stranger who purports to be asking for help with his or her phone.. AI doesn’t want your password or money.. this is a way of getting your biometrics.. eye recognition.. voice recognition.. fingerprints etc.. How sad that things have come to a stage where we can not follow our natural human instincts of being kind and helpful.. seemingly innocent situations are fraught with peril too!

Am sure that the very limited amount of technology I use is also to a greater or lesser extent thanks to AI but please keep your life “as real.. as simple and as uncomplicated” as possible! Please understand that I am not rejecting AI (which is impossible to do) but just sharing a gentle reminder not to get excessively “carried away” by it!!

Thank you as always for reading and do remember to add your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!