IN A WORLD FULL OF MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE.. what are we building?

Watching the news and reading the newspapers every day.. we are mute and horrified witness to unimaginable stories of cruelty and violence! People are being murdered in a fit of anger.. raped as a consequence of bottled up frustration..  kidnapped as a way of getting easy money.. abused by supposedly "safe" adults and the stories go on.. 

It is absolutely terrifying.. the number of people suffering from mild moderate and severe degrees of mental illnesses just walking free.. undiagnosed.. unknown and untreated.. It's enough to make one wonder if we will come home safe and sound at the end of the day! There is no guarantee that we are going to encounter people all of whom are going to think respond react and interact with us the way we do with them.. 

Very often these inexplicable and unreasonable behaviours stem from early childhood.. from parents who never said "no" and thought (mistakenly) that young children shouldn't be disciplined.. The thing with children and all human beings (I believe) is that we all NEED discipline in our lives - it is what gives us a sense of security and teaches us to respect boundaries in our relationships with people! 

The truth is that we can't change anyone else but we can definitely change ourselves! Speaking for myself.. rather than living in fear and complaining about how dangerous the times are.. we need to understand that we are the architects of our own lives and start building..

Building but what should we build? We need to build patience acceptance and tolerance.. both with ourselves as well as with others.. We need to understand that sometimes treatment and therapy are not affordable.. available or accepted.. and for whatever reason.. unable to cope with the pressure that builds up! 

It is imperative that we need to build our reserves of inner resilience and that will come from the regular practice of gratitude and time spent in reflection introspection and simply learning how to "be".. be with ourselves and be with others! 

Learning to "be" also comes from what we think speak and do.. it comes from what we "become" as a result of our thoughts words and deeds.. As we grow and evolve.. we move from merely "becoming" and master the art and supremely important ability of "being"..

Learning to find joy in the little things.. celebrating similarities and still respecting differences.. accepting that circumstances may be out of our control and accepting the consequences of our (sometimes) faulty decisions and errors of judgement are all habits that build character..

All of us need to make a conscious effort to build our levels and reserves of empathy kindness and gratitude.. more importantly we need to learn to "hold steady" when things get tough! 

Most of all.. we need to protect the light within us.. and share it and shine it to help light the path for those who are lost in the darkness of confusion anger sorrow and negativity!

Wishing you to be a wonderfully successful architect of your life and may every support system strength and quality you build and enhance help to make this world a better place for us all..

Thank you as always for reading.. and if you choose to post a comment.. please remember to add your name at the beginning or the end!

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO YOU Daddy.. wherever you are!

What IS it about Daddies and their daughters that is so magical? Do all Daddies see themselves as knights in shining armour that wait eagerly for the blessing of a little princess to cherish guard and protect? Do they feel this level of being fiercely protective and loving simultaneously towards any other human being? Unlikely..

I have (obviously) never been a father but based on stories I have heard growing up.. my Dad always wanted a little girl! Not that he wasn’t happy when my brother was born.. but when I arrived amid a lot of drama and stress with my mother having gone through a high risk toxaemia pregnancy and weighing a mere 4 pounds despite being a Caesarean delivery.. the joy and relief were both unmistakable!

For someone was was pretty unexpressive and stoical, he actually “blossomed” into this extremely demonstrative and loving father that wore his heart absolutely on his sleeve! He used to make up songs especially for me (when I was just a baby) and insist that Mummy hold me and put the telephone to my ear so he could sing them to me (often in the middle of a working day)! When you stop to consider that the first call made after my birth was not to my grandparents, but to confirm an order for a beautiful necklace and pair of matching earrings.. that pretty much says it all!

Childhood was a magical time filled with picnics vacations food and fun.. love and laughter! Most weekend mornings I remember waking up wearing my pyjamas and wrapped in my quilt lying in the boot of the car.. constant surprise driving trips to Lonavala.. Khandala.. Poona and even Mahabaleshwar etc.. He used to sing Bengali popular music and Gujarati folk songs on the way so I grew up perhaps not with understanding.. but definitely with appreciation!

He believed that travel and exposure to different experiences was the best way to learn and grow so we did plenty of that.. Being a firm but fair disciplinarian.. I learned to stay and “make do” in all kind of places from ashrams to dharamshalas (1 star) to Government circuit houses and guest houses (3 star) to the fanciest of hotels (5 stars)! Would I ever be the little brat running around a restaurant screaming while waiting to be served? You’ve got to be kidding.. it would be word games or riddles or jokes or being instructed on the correct way to hold and wield a fork and knife.. quietly!

I remember how for my tenth birthday (first double digit birthday and for that reason very special) I asked for a Barbie Townhouse.. indulgent in the extreme but also very clear that he wanted me to grow up with more than two ideas in my head.. the Barbie townhouse came and along with it.. two cartons full to the top with abridged versions of all the classics from A Tale of Two Cities to The Taming of The Shrew to Heidi to Little Women to What Katy Did and a whole lot more besides! Is it surprising that I loved essay writing the most in school?!

Growing up as a teenager I had my icons in Abba.. Lionel Richie.. Wham and The Carpenters.. and he understood perfectly that this phase had to happen and although he wouldn’t allow posters to be put up on the walls.. he got a big softboard for my room and we were both happy! I was given pocket money weekly with the warning that nothing more would be forthcoming until the next week but at the same time the reassurance that I could spend it on whatever I wanted (and there would be no questions asked)!

Believe it or not.. he was convinced that girls were equal to or maybe even superior to boys and that’s the reason he taught me how to repair a burnt out fuse (this was before the days of the ACB or Automatic Circuit Breaker).. change a bulb.. change a tyre that was punctured.. and how to choose and buy the best fruits and vegetables from the market! What incredible life lessons they were and I am truly blessed to have received them with a lot of love and patience!

His work ethic was amazing.. sometimes 12 to 16 hours a day and later on as he got older.. 9:30 to 5:30 at the office but any calls from home had to be put through to him immediately.. no matter who he was sitting with at the time! I could have been calling to complain about something or crying about something and the response was always a patient hearing.. a gentle suggestion or else a promise that it would be dealt with once he got home from work!

Thank you Daddy for teaching me that while cooking.. the integrity of flavour of the vegetables must be enhanced and not suppressed with spices.. that a hotel room must always be checked before booking (those were the days when we could).. that punctuality was the politeness not only of princes but also of his princess.. and that as I went through my professional life.. most times I would need to choose between being efficient and being popular.. and that I think I managed pretty well!

When Disney invited me to Hong Kong for an interview (as Early Childhood consultant on a hugely popular show called Playhouse Disney), he was as proud as a cat with two tails.. after him I was the only person in our family to be invited abroad for a job interview! It wasn’t until he explained to me that I even understood that it WAS actually a big deal!

He gloried in me and I gloried in him and there can never be anyone else quite as special.. but God has been extremely kind and there are P1 and P2 who have stepped up magnificently.. filled the gaps and make sure that I am protected cherished looked after and loved unconditionally! I feel like the luckiest daughter in the world and Happy Father’s Day wherever you are Daddy.. know that you will always be madly adored loved cherished and missed.. in the magical way only daughters can!!

Thank you as always for reading and please leave your name before or after the comment (if you should choose to write one)!

Happy Father’s Day to all those of you who are lucky enough to still have them!!

 

 

 

WAKE UP CALLS.. are necessary!

 WAKE UP CALLS.. are necessary!

What a lovely feeling it is when life is chugging along smoothly.. and then all of a sudden.. wham! A number of things will go haywire and generate all kinds of stress that you don't want!

In my mind.. the last couple of days have been challenging to say the least! My trusty Lenovo desktop computer suddenly went kamikaze on me.. I kept trying to "shut down" but like the proverbial bad penny.. it kept restarting! The fan inside also went beserk and was whirring and making a racket!

I belong to a generation that likes to believe that rebooting is the solution to most problems but.. no! Nothing worked so I called the techie home.. he checked and said it would have to be taken to their service centre so off he went with my precious cargo.. hopefully it should be fixed and back home soon!

The powers that be didn't think that was enough so the pressure pump that takes care of the water supply in two of my bathrooms suddenly just stopped working! Called my plumber who declared gleefully that he is in "gaon" for a month! Hearing my crestfallen voice he kindly arranged for his team to come and take a look.. and they did! 

We never do things by halves so apparently it's got to be replaced for a ridiculously large amount of money.. but German pumps are the best so I paid up (not very happily though it must be confessed)! It will be installed tomorrow but until then we are managing comfortably..

The internet connectivity dropped to 56 mbps on a Jio 150 mbps plan so that was another SOS call which fortunately was addressed and resolved very quickly thank God!

The crowning glory happened at my house in Lonavala.. I had a small Godrej safe (empty) that was kept with some extra stuff.. Some desperate hopeful had attempted to open it (unsuccessfully) and in frustration (I think) broke the handle! Brought it to Mumbai and contacted Godrej who sent someone called Subhash to my house yesterday..

It was the end of what must have been a long and tiring day for him.. but this man was exceedingly polite patient and gracious.. He was carrying an extremely heavy backpack and when I offered him tea coffee or a cold drink requested a glass of water.. He did his work quietly.. refused an advance and tip (even when I offered it) and before he left.. told me he was a handyman and could do carpentry electrical and plumbing work as well!

When I mentioned my pressure pump problem he immediately offered to take a look but I told him it was being taken care of.. My house was his last call of the day and am sure he was tired and wanting to get home.. He asked me to please save his number and share it with anyone who needed help.. 

Think about it.. this is someone who goes from house to house in the scorching sun and is still so pleasant and kind! He was helpful gracious and smiling.. and it was a wake up call to me to think that we can all sometimes behave so entitled and a little rude and snappy and blame it on the heat! And I had the good fortune to meet someone who has a tough job but keeps a wonderful temperament! 

Made me count my blessings and resolve to try and be pleasant kind understanding and patient no matter what the circumstances because at the end of the day.. everyone is fighting a battle that you don't know anything about! 

God bless Subhashjee and do get in touch with me if you need him for any small repair jobs! Am also very grateful for the "wake up" call and lesson that although he didn't teach.. I learned!

Thank you as always for reading and please share your name at the beginning or end of the comment (should you choose to write one)!