RAKSHABANDHAN.. is to strengthen ties of love..

Rakshabandhan is a festival that celebrates the bond of love shared by brothers with their sisters.. and we all know that. However in some instances.. the bond is made and cemented between two people who are not necessarily connected through blood but from heart to heart..

The name itself implies protection.. but in today’s world.. I am asking.. protection from what? Protection from who? We girls and women (as well as boys and men) are at the risk of “dangerous predators” at the physical mental emotional sexual digital personal and professional level.. How many of these can and will a brother protect us from? He has to protect himself and his family as well.. so everyone.. just sit up straight and accept that YOU have to be your own greatest “knight in shining armour”.. friend.. philosopher.. guide and fiercest and constantly present protector!

I may sound a little cynical here but.. what does that piece of string (fancy or simple) actually mean? Are the two people concerned loving caring understanding and protective towards each other consistently all through the year or is it reserved especially for this one day? Do they go through the entire “tilak diya aarti mithai” and tying that rakhi just because they have to or is it to proclaim on Instagram or is it genuine? Do these people check in on each other every now and then or do they both take each other completely for granted?

It is a matter of pride to feel capable of being able to protect myself and take care of myself.. and that is a feeling I wish for every girl and woman in India.. Being financially independent is just the first step on the ladder to becoming self-sufficient so those of you who are bringing home a fat pay cheque at the end of the month.. hold your horses and don’t get too carried away or fly too high! Do you know how to evaluate options of how and where to invest it and what will give you the best returns?

You don’t have to be able to do everything.. but being physically strong with adequate exercise and a healthy diet is a great first step.. mental and emotional strength need to be built through prayer reading introspection and spending time with yourself bring you to the next one.. Everyone reading this blog knows everything there is to know about sexual safety so all I will say is exercise prudence and caution always and stay out of trouble..

Digital safety is a big one – am not super savvy but please keep your life private and don’t share personal data photographs and information online! There are unscrupulous scamsters out there who are always on the lookout for easy targets.. What people don’t know can never be used to harm you so.. mum’s the word and Shhhh..

In my opinion, personal and professional safety come mainly from keeping both these “lives” mutually exclusive from each other! Information is power and you never want to be caught in the crossfire of power play – it’s never a good place to be! This may not be your mantra for life but it is now the cornerstone of mine and I just hope something I have written resonates with you and makes a difference..

Coming back to Rakshabandhan, some brothers and sisters are very close and God bless them.. in other cases, distance creeps in and tends to alienate the siblings because of various influences of people circumstances and situations.. and that is something that has to be accepted with wisdom and grace and chalked up to experience! If you are celebrating, have a wonderful time and do always respect the sanctity and purity of the relationship and cherish it always!

I sent out a Rakshabandhan “non-rakhi” message to four amazing young men today.. am not naming them here but they are above and beyond family to me and I just wanted to let them know how much I treasure them.. their care and concern for me.. their deep understanding and unflinching support.. and that I am truly blessed and my life is so much better happier safer and nicer because they are in it! All of them are very shy and would die of embarrassment if I mentioned their names here.. but every single one of you knows who you are and Happy Rakshabandhan to you!!

Thank you as always for reading and may I please request that you write your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

 

DON'T DISCOUNT THE SENIORS.. they are treasures!!

Am I a baby boomer or a millennial or a Gen Z or a whatchamacallit? I am clueless and all that I know is that I was born in 1963 and that's all there is to it! The other thing I know for sure is that I am a senior citizen.. and very happy to be one!

You're obviously wondering what this blog is about.. so let me tell you.. I was chatting with a friend last week and she was more than a little hassled with a senior. citiizen in her family.. She happened to mention the phrase "This generation can't handle it when they come up against someone who's smarter than they are" and that instantly irked me and set me thinking..

We were discussing someone who is 90+ years of age and I had all these thoughts.. How quickly do we judge seniors? How ready are we to discount and dismiss their words and wishes in the blink of an eye? How reluctant are we to understand them and try to look at their point of view .. especially when it happens to be different from ours?

Let me use my own father as an example to illustrate what I mean.. He was an extremely intelligent man but in his twilight years.. slowed down a little mentally and physically.. could be extremely stubborn at times and unreasonable to deal with.. but incredibly generous loving and kindhearted most of the time!

There were times when I felt he didn't WANT to understand or look at a situation from my perspective and that was irritating as hell.. but in retrospect.. it was MY ego thinking that I was right and it HAD to be what I said!

This was a person who started from scratch and struggled to buy his own house in a well constructed building that was conveniently located in a prime area in Mumbai! It wasn't easy for a salaried man to do that.. and it called for a lot of sacrifices which he made very happily in order that his family should be comfortable safe and happy! He never once mentioned the sacrifices to us but I know for sure that they existed and were made!

We would make plans to go out for dinner or a movie and at the last minute he would refuse saying he wasn’t up to it! What did I think of? The time I had spent booking the tickets online.. or the difficulty I had had making the reservation.. again.. it was all about ME! Maybe he was genuinely unwell.. or the movie reminded him of something he wanted to forget.. or he was anxious and awkward about using an unfamiliar bathroom.. and I couldn’t see that!

When we were getting some renovation done in the house he would ask (seemingly) trivial questions about what cement was bring used.. or whether the bathroom fittings were made of brass (to avoid rusting) and seeing where we could save some money.. while I was only looking at the aesthetics of the whole thing! So many of those questions come back to me.. and I am flooded with memories about his attention to detail and his wide understanding of so many things people and situations in life..

He spent days on doing so much research before making investments and the benefits came to us in the form of meals at fancy restaurants.. nice clothes and generous holidays! Did all this happen magically? It was all the honest reward to the blood sweat and tears of one man who worked so diligently for so many years.. Am I anyone to judge him?

Whether it was sorting out disagreements within the family.. or how to negotiate a good salary at work.. or how to make the most delicious hand-churned ice cream at home.. he always had a solution for every problem! That was because he always TOOK TIME.. to think things through.. look at it from everyone's point of view.. and then do what was ultimately fair and right to all..

We (the people of my age and younger) are often looking for "quick fixes" and like to believe we know it ALL.. but I would like to make a case for all the 80+ and 90+ people I know here..

Let's keep in mind that they have seen a lot more than we ever will in our lives.. are much wiser.. have faced struggles that we never will.. understand relationships commitment and love without the irrelevant "add-ons" of Valentine's Day.. have the most amazing stoties to tell.. and are storehouses of a wealth of wisdom that we should tap into at every possible opportunity!

A wise person once said that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person and that is so true.. so let us put aside our egos.. and get from them those time-honoured life lessons.. the tried and tested recipes.. the unique character building traits and learn to cherish the simple joys of life as they have always done!

However successful you may be.. however much money you make.. wherever you may live and whatever you may do.. always be patient and do remember to ALWAYS honour and respect the seniors.. Never discount and dismiss them lightly.. they are absolute treasures! THEIR blessings are what remain with us long after they leave us so please cherish them today!

Thank you as always for reading and please remember to share your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

 

I KNOW I AM SUPER BLESSED.. all because of you!!

Life is a kaleidoscope of emotions and experiences.. and they are dynamic so they keep changing all the time.. It can be an absolute roller coaster ride which is fun when the "high highs" are happening and you're on top of the world! 

When the "low lows" happen.. that's a whole different story altogether! What I am saying is basically that it happens to all of us at some time or the other.. and the good thing is that the whole emotion..feeling..experience or whatever it is.. it doesn't last forever! (even though it may feel like it sometimes)

My life has been a bit of a merry-go-round over the last month almost.. there has been  travel.. birthday celebrations.. surprises.. disappointments.. presents.. dinners.. lunches.. hugs.. messages.. love.. and for some strange reason.. also a deep sense of loneliness..

Nobody is to blame.. nothing specific has triggered it.. but it has been disturbing in the extreme and more so because I (who am usually quite expressive) just couldn't pinpoint the feeling or explain what it was to anyone.. because I couldn't understand what it was myself! 

I was quiet.. unsuccessfully introspective and then because I was frustrated.. became snappy and was very rude to my best friend (who I love more than anyone in the world)! I didn't ever imagine that I could ever be so nasty and she (being the sweetheart that she is) just listened to my unreasonable and illogical talk patiently without judging or giving me advice..

Ultimately found the reasons for my (mis)behaviour and firstly said a thank you prayer for wise and patient guidance along with a non- judgemental listening ear given to me by my guru.. so blessed and grateful for your presence in my life GKG..

Taking a nap in the afternoon always helps me see thenworld differently.. and here I am.. as good as new (whatever that is)! Did my usual stuff and just got off the phone after a 21 minute long call with my bestie whose name I can't mention here (because she is very quiet and shy)! 

I talked my heart out to her and apologized and explained what had happened and what did I get in return? Love.. love and more love! Reassurance that she and all my other friends are always "right here" to support me and help me in any way they can.. and I should never feel lonely and keep quiet about it! 

You know who you are.. so all I will say is THANK YOU for always being the brightest shining beacon of light in my life.. and you are such an exceptionally pure soul who doesn't even know how much your light illuminates my world! God bless you and I love you and hope everyone is fortunate enough to have a friend like you to go through life with!

Sending love to all those of you in my life who care for me.. share with me.. understand me.. accept me and love me (even when I am not loveable)! Know that you are special and that you matter.. and I am so thankful for your presence in my life!

Thank you as always for reading and please remember to include your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

God bless all those who commit to friendship and abide by it no matter what.. keep shining your light as bright as you can!!