WHEN GOD SENDS GOOD PEOPLE INTO YOUR LIFE.. cherish them!!

Are you the kind of person who begins the day with a prayer? Do you give thanks for a new day or ask for something to go smoothly or are you simply grateful for all the blessings that you have already? There’s a special reason why I’m writing this blog and asking this question..

I was away for the weekend to my holiday home in Lonavala and had gone with two of my dearest friends.. the people for whom I hold the greatest love respect and admiration.. It was a precious time of sharing.. growth.. asking questions to each other and ourselves.. understanding.. and learning.. These are the people who aren’t hesitant to ask the sometimes uncomfortable questions.. to tell like it IS (and isn’t) and just be completely honest and upfront with each other!

Am back home feeling very much at peace.. very happy.. and just so grateful to have people like these in my life.. who make me think about my journey - the decisions I make.. the people I interact with.. the choices I make.. and the reason I do what I do.. and why I feel the way I feel..

I am just reflecting and thinking if everyone had a really genuine “sounding board” who listens patiently without being judgemental.. understands what we are trying to say but sometimes struggling with finding the words to express it.. advises gently.. gives clarity and puts things into the right perspective.. the world would be a much nicer place! Sounds like a tall order to fulfil right? Just have compassion and kindness.. and listen to understand instead of “half-listening” to reply.. and it will all work out for the best!

A very important thing to remember in life is that we HAVE good people in our lives because we DESERVE them! When God sends good people into your life.. recognize.. acknowledge.. be grateful and cherish them! Make time for them.. have amazing conversations.. share what’s happening in your life.. your hopes dreams desires plans and concerns.. Discuss ideas back and forth.. analzye and find solutions together.. and most of all.. RESPECT each other!

Just had a lovely conversation over the phone with a very close friend who lives in Bangalore (I refuse to call it Bengaluru!!) and that was again a long relaxed and meaningful “catch up” and it’s made me understand for sure that I’m not really cut out for just the superficial chatter.. and I’m not good at it either!

Super grateful to all those of you who share these incredible “real life” stories with me.. all those of you with whom I have a mutually “nurturing” relationship and to all those of you wonderful people who have trusted and loved me enough to make me an integral part of your life.. and allowed me to make you an integral part of mine as well.. Ending by sending out lots of love light and happiness into the world to everyone in the Universe.. remain blessed!

As always, thank you so much for reading and please share your names at the end of your comment (if you should choose to write one)!!

MAGICAL MOMENTS DO HAPPEN.. when you’re lucky!!

One of the most charming things about life is that it’s unpredictable! Some days it’s exasperating and irritating.. other days are uneventful and boring.. and when you least expect it.. some days are magical in the most special way! Today was one of those magical ones for me and I’d love to share it with all those of you who read my blog..

The day started as usual with my morning walk.. followed by breakfast and a swim at the club.. Breaking away from routine, I had to attend an event on “Social Impact and Philanthropy” at the Taj Mahal hotel.. These highly fancy corporate events tend to overwhelm me at times but somehow I agreed to attend this one!

The primary topic of discussion when I reached was Climate Change and there was an animated discussion in progress when I reached (unfortunately my once upon a time pristine record for punctuality doesn’t shine quite as brightly these days)! There was a panel of eminent experts – two high falutin’ very intelligent and experienced gentlemen.. the moderator and a very attractive young lady who was lucid in thought, clear in speech and needle sharp while sharing her views and ideas on the subject..

When I read her name, it struck me that I had most probably taught her in pre-school but perhaps 30+ years ago.. and children change.. Me being me.. I HAD to ask so after the Question & Answer session was over and it was time to mingle, I went up to her and asked if she had attended a particular pre-school and of course she said yes!

One I told her my name, she remembered me and we had a “mini catch up” where she mentioned that her husband was in the same school at the same time (although that wasn’t when the romance started) and I remembered him so clearly as well.. just how he looked with the mischievous smile!

Words are inadequate to express how I felt seeing her holding her own.. confident.. bright.. extremely committed to her cause and her work.. a mother couldn’t have been more proud! As I have written earlier, it is truly a privilege to have been a part of children’s learning journeys and then when you see them as successful adults “out there” in the REAL WORLD.. holding their own.. passionate about what they do.. doing so well.. You just know it was all so worthwhile!

It was otherwise a day of some “high highs” and “low lows” but this was the absolute standout and am beyond grateful to the Universe and the powers that be for guiding my footsteps to the Taj Mahal Hotel this afternoon! I know pre-school teachers (in my time) were paid a pittance as salaries.. but with serendipitous happenings like this one and so many special memories, I feel extremely rich in the “magical moments” that money can’t buy!

I am sure you’re reading this betu.. just want to say God bless you always.. march on to even greater glory.. and know that I love you and will always be super-duper proud of you.. simply because.. Wherever you go.. whatever you do.. you’ll do extremely well.. I know!!

Thank you as always for reading.. and please share your names at the end of your comments!!

 

FEELING ALL “FESTIVALLED OUT”? Here’s what do do!!

It’s been a virtual (and real) whirlwind of celebrations right? You’re exhausted and wallowing in guilt.. regretting all the mouthwatering delicacies you’ve indulged in the past week? Sleep deprived and in a state of “Did I really drink THAT much over Diwali.. feels like I lost the plot there for a while”? Don’t stress.. yes.. perhaps you DID behave out of character and perhaps you DID overindulge.. SO WHAT?!

Festivals roll around once in a while.. and we are supposed to and expected to let down our guard.. throw caution to the winds.. indulge and overindulge for a short duration without counting calories.. take pleasure in the little joys of spending quality time with the people who are precious and special to us.. and we are ALLOWED to “go crazy” for a few days!!

In the immortal words of the exceedingly wise Dr. Seuss “Don’t cry because it’s over.. smile because it happened”.. so save and share the pictures.. savour the memories.. and enjoy the few hours left of this wonderful week! Eat that chocolate biscuit.. finish that last piece of mithai.. do a happy “bottoms up” with the unfinished wine bottle.. and then..

Make your “to do” list.. both personal and professional.. shake off the feeling of lethargy.. “wake up” and get organized.. pack your office bag.. plan your meals.. get the festive clothes laundry ready.. put away the fancy crockery and cutlery.. the special linen.. delete the “seemingly” hundreds of forwarded Diwali images and messages from your phone gallery.. maybe even plan that “last for the festive season” drink and/or dinner.. and AFTER That..

Get ready.. to put your plans into action! Don’t set yourself up or the Monday morning “blues”.. instead.. keep your clothes footwear and accessories ready for tomorrow morning.. wear something you like and you know suits you so you’ll automatically be in a good mood.. and set your alarm 15 minutes earlier so you can have a leisurely cup of tea/coffee/breakfast so you don’t start the day with a sense of panic about being late..

Keep your goals for the week achievable and manageable.. 4 pieces of mithai don’t go away in a single day and neither does the third cocktail that you really shouldn’t drunk! Make sure you get at least 20-30 minutes of your favourite every day.. walking.. swimming.. climbing stairs.. whatever gives you a “high” and sense of achievement (and more importantly what you can sustain on a regular basis)!

And because it’s ME writing this blog.. please start thinking about your Christmas and New Year plans if you haven’t already.. it will bring you joy and motivate you to stay focused on your health and fitness goals! Book those tickets.. apply for the visas and work on getting vacation ready once again! You only live once (YOLO as the kids say) but if you live right.. once is more than enough!

If there are a few things you need to hold on to about the Diwali festive season.. they are.. the happy times you’ve spent with loved ones.. the jokes and laughter that made you smile.. the invaluable gifts of friends who are family and above all these.. strong faith in the overwhelming power of both.. light and LOVE..

Thank you as always for reading.. and PLEASE share your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!!

AS WE GROW.. IF WE ARE LUCKY AND AWARE.. we learn!

When I was young (and significantly less wiser than I am now) my idea of friendship was, like most young children “You’re my best friend so I’ll tell you everything and you tell me everything too”! As I grew up this translated to (please note, I am not using the phrase progressed to!) “Let’s talk at 9 pm everyday and share everything that happened” and then.. as it always happens.. life changed..

Friends went to different colleges.. got engaged and married.. shifted homes and sometimes cities.. and even that wasn’t a problem because I have always had the pen of a ready writer and thoroughly enjoyed the process of a lengthy and detailed correspondence to and fro.. except that most of my friends stopped writing in detail.. and ultimately stopped writing!

My “need to feel needed” and to “be in touch” made it very difficult.. I missed the friends I used to meet and talk to every day.. I missed sharing the little anecdotes and jokes.. the “love life and boyfriend problems”.. and so I made new friends.. My life was an open book and I shared everything that happened.. and thought that that was the way it was supposed to be.. and that everyone was like me!

As I got older, it became apparent that nothing could be further from the truth.. people were secretive and not so open about sharing the details of their lives.. and I accepted that.. albeit a little reluctantly! The lack of “sharing” and “being in touch” was something I had to force myself to accept as well.. even though I didn’t really understand the reason for it!

The good thing about college was that I made very close friends who were open and stayed in touch.. and once I started working it was different people.. different ages.. different mindsets and different personalities.. I was relatively innocent and overprotected so easily shocked and not used to the “games people play” at all.. I met guys.. had crushes.. dated casually but my friends were the most important people in the world to me!

Living with an abusive alcoholic husband overseas ensured that I kept in touch with my closest friends and family because I needed their support! Upon returning to India I made a new friend (who I can’t name here) who I worked with on an unusual project. She was (and still is) borderline Bohemian (almost).. highly creative.. a smoker and drinker.. and although we were polar opposites, we hit it off bigtime and got very close! She’s also the one person who really encouraged me to write.. for which (and a number of reasons) I will be eternally grateful..

She was pretty firmly on the spiritual path and used to say things like “The Universe is listening.. Put that thought out in the Universe.. We don’t need to talk everyday.. I love you and always will”.. Back then.. I was as far away from the spiritual path as it was possible to be.. pretty much a total contrast to the person I am today! I loved her but didn’t understand a lot of things she used to say! We shared a lovely friendship for many years.. shared a lot of stuff.. supported each other through thick and thin.. and then.. life happened and we both got caught up in our own lives..

I used to text her and wait for replies that wouldn’t come for days and sometimes weeks on end.. and so we both “drifted” for a bit.. NOT “apart” but just “drifted” and finally weren’t in touch because I couldn’t do the one-sided (as I thought) friendship! She texted me when her father passed away and I went to pay my respects and then.. silence for the longest time.. I shared the link to all my blogs and she read every single one!

She texted me a few days ago to say her Mom had passed away and I spoke with her yesterday.. as gentle loving and accepting as she has always been with me.. It was the most beautiful conversation I’ve shared with anyone in ages and I was in floods of tears and drowning in gratitude just being able to listen to her story and tell her mine!

I am blessed to have found my guru.. spiritual guide and soul family over the last few years.. supremely thankful to them for so many realizations and such amazing guidance and wisdom for the spiritual growth they have enabled and fostered! All of you who are reading this know who you are and how precious you are to me.. thank you is inadequate but straight from my heart!

Sharing.. caring.. teaching.. and learning are all from the body.. but accepting.. understanding.. respecting and loving are from the heart and soul.. Some friendships are forever.. and I love you my Bohemian babe! Thank you for taking me back into your life and saying you have always loved me.. I love you too.. so very much!!

 

HAPPY DUSSEHRA.. slay those demons!!

On Dussehra we all talk about the triumph of good over evil.. and how good always prevails no matter what..

We like to hope and pray that this holds true always.. but dont seem to realize that it all starts from within ourselves and our minds..

I have been given to understand that everything we do and everything we go through is about both.. intentions and permissions.. That is to say.. if we arr being abused emotionally mentally physically or financially.. it is because we have given "permission" for that person to "abuse" us..

It is of the utmost importance to now listen to your inner voice.. gut feeling.. instinct or whatever you choose to call it.. Start questioning when you are being offered something (it could be a choice between two colours.. a gift for no reason.. a job opportunity you're not really qualified for etc..

If you are uncomfortable or unsure why someone is offering you something you haven't earned.. deserve or have asked for.. ask yourself as to what the person's intention for offering it to you could possibly me.. It may be to "gain control" over you later or to be able to "call in the favour" at a later date.. or any other undesirable reason!

First and foremost we need to pray in order to slay our own demons of greed jealousy pride conceit and inadequacy in order to connect with our soul.. for it is only after we overcome these that we will be capable of fighting the bigger battles that life will throw our way!

We also need to have our own code of ethics that we live by.. and stay true to it no matter what! That also doesn't give us the right to judge others.. but to stay true to ourselves! We need to have the courage of our convictions.. stand up for what is right.. and not compromise on our ideals in order that we can hold our heads high and make sure our intentions are always crystal clear.. pure and clean..

We also need to protect ourselves from negative energies and so create  around ourselves (metaphorically speaking) an invisible field of positive energy that repels less than desirable thoughts words and intentions.. 

We need to make sure we don't give permission to anyone to harm us.. take us for granted or influence our thoughts and feelings for the wrong reasons! Stay focused on and aware of how you feel and what you feel.. and why you feel like that!

Once we learn to stay positive.. strong and "in touch" with ourselves.. what is right will always prevail and we won't need to live in uncertainty fear or anything uncomfortable!

Happy Dussehra and God bless you all.. Thank you as always for reading! 

Please add your name at the end of your comment if you should choose to write one..

THAT FEELING OF A “SELECTED FAMILY”.. is so beautiful..

Dada-Dadi.. Nana-Nani.. Papa-Mummy.. Bhaiya-Didi & Baby.. these are the people that make up a traditional family.. Right? The people who go to work and earn money to support each other.. who love each other.. run the house.. go on vacations together etc.. Everyone has their role and everyone has responsibilities that they fulfil to make the “family machinery” function smoothly..

That concept of “family” for a number people has evolved and changed now.. One is the family you are born into the people you share a home with while growing up.. and once you grow up.. you build strong and lasting relationships and often your closest friends become your family.. your daily workmates become your family.. you advisors and guides become your family.. and your kind and caring neighbours become your family too!

There are quotes and quotes about families and am sharing two of my favourites here..

“The Devil gives us our families.. but.. thank God we can choose our friends” and

“Friends are the family you choose for yourself”

No offence to anyone and nothing personal either but.. as we grow up.. go out in the world.. and meet different people.. something really special happens.. We are at various times.. in situations where we meet people who inspire us.. motivate us.. teach us.. make us laugh.. hold up a mirror to make us look at ourselves.. At the same time.. we encounter people who provoke us.. tease us.. compete with us.. are intrusive and perhaps even fight with us.. and that’s OKAY..

Look at the people you want to “adopt” into your “selected family” like a box of crayons.. some are bright and vibrant while others are dull and gloomy.. some are “in your face” while others are forgettable.. a few touch your heart and others don’t really interest you! Talk about the things that matter.. the ones closest to your heart.. the ones who accept you and understand you.. and hold on tight to them because they are the “keepers”!

“Keepers” cover a multitude of roles.. these are the people who will be your secret keepers.. your confidantes.. your sounding boards.. your advice givers.. your 3 am buddies.. your partners in crime.. your personal ATMs for occasional little indulgences.. your “punching bags”(for when you’re sometimes overwhelmed) and the people who will always listen.. understand.. and accept you for what you are WITHOUT judging!

Family members “compete” in small ways sometimes.. insist on taking arguments to logical conclusions.. argue fiercely over the most insignificant things..complain bitterly about your annoying habits.. but at the same time.. always stand up for you.. believe in you.. support you when you need them.. and give you unconditional love! Blood ties and DNA tests aren’t always what tie families together.. but mutual respect dependability and love certainly DO!!

I feel completely blessed to have friends workmates and neighbours who are all part of my “selected family” and “rock solid” there for me.. come what may! A number of you would feel very embarrassed to read your names here.. but you all know who I mean.. so just know from my heart to yours that I am incredibly grateful to count you as “family” and love you so very much! God bless our bond today and always!!

Wishing all of you the strongest and most wonderful “selected families” today and always! Thank you as always for reading and do please remember to add your name at the end of your comment! (Blogspot should really change this)!!

 

THANK YOU DADDY.. for the roof over my head!!

 Roti.. Kapda aur MAKAAN.. never take them for granted!!

So.. I went to Badlapur yesterday.. for those of you who don’t know.. it is an eastern suburb of Mumbai about 50-odd kilometres away from my house! And WHY would I ever want to go to Badlapur? Simple answer.. I was house hunting.. not for myself.. but let me tell you a story..

Flashback to 1958 (before I was even born) when my parents lived in a joint family with my paternal grandfather (Dadaji), uncle (Kaka and his family) in a three room house at Nana Chowk. Children came along and the families started growing and a shortage of space made life difficult. Dadaji told my parents they had to move out and offered to buy them a sea facing flat at Marine Drive.. but Daddy refused because what we know as Marine Drive today was a desolate lonely almost scary place to live back then!

In the “good old days” as we fondly refer to them, the Parsis were (as they still are) a highly respected and looked up to community! Dadaji found a Parsi owned building (Pil Court) on what was earlier called as Queen’s Road and rented a flat on the ground floor for my parents. The building had small gardens in front and at the side which were beautifully kept and once every month, young “chokra boys” were hired to WASH it with soap and water – inside and out! As time went by, they shifted to the fifth floor.. and finally to the fourth floor to the house where I live even today!

Growing up.. ownership of the building changed hands.. the hardworking“chokra boys” became a distant memory.. and we moved from tenancy into ownership! I still remember the look of quiet pride and satisfaction on Daddy’s face when he showed me the society share certificate with his name on it! Having your OWN house is a tremendous thing.. especially in a city like Mumbai! Huge milestone achieved for any head of a family.. to ensure that the spouse and children have their OWN roof over their heads!

My very industrious Man Friday (Kishore to all those of you who know him) had spoken to Daddy and me perhaps ten or more years ago and had expressed a desire to possess a small home in the city.. with some help from us! Somehow with life hurtling along at it’s pace, Daddy didn’t get a chance to do anything about it.. but he DID tell me to do the needful for my staff – all of whom we consider family!

Girl Friday would like a home in Badlapur to be able to be close to her family and off we went.. by airconditioned car and it took us TWO hours to get there! Driving through the suburbs drove home the fact of how blessed I am that Daddy had the foresight, ability, opportunity and wherewithal to buy a home in South Mumbai! After looking at various flats there and driving another two and a half hours to get home, I have a renewed respect for everyone who commutes daily to work (by TRAIN).. and don’t think I will EVER have the heart to ask my part-timer why she’s late to work!

We tend to expect our staff to commute.. be absolutely punctual to work.. do their job with a smile on their faces and talk politely.. be presentable and nicely dressed as well and that too - every single day! Seriously? They are HUMAN.. as human as we are.. and perhaps a little bit more because they’re fighting crazy odds just to survive.. every single day!!

This whole thing has been an experience and more than that, a lesson in gratitude, humility and sensitivity. All the way back from Badlapur I was just thanking Daddy and blessing him for seeing to it that I have my OWN roof over my head.. and that this is a privilege and blessing that everyone should ideally have!

To sum it up in the immortal words of Marvin Gaye:

“For I'm the type of boy
Who is always on the roam
Wherever I lay my hat
That's my home
I'm telling you, that's my home”