DON'T DISCOUNT THE SENIORS.. they are treasures!!

Am I a baby boomer or a millennial or a Gen Z or a whatchamacallit? I am clueless and all that I know is that I was born in 1963 and that's all there is to it! The other thing I know for sure is that I am a senior citizen.. and very happy to be one!

You're obviously wondering what this blog is about.. so let me tell you.. I was chatting with a friend last week and she was more than a little hassled with a senior. citiizen in her family.. She happened to mention the phrase "This generation can't handle it when they come up against someone who's smarter than they are" and that instantly irked me and set me thinking..

We were discussing someone who is 90+ years of age and I had all these thoughts.. How quickly do we judge seniors? How ready are we to discount and dismiss their words and wishes in the blink of an eye? How reluctant are we to understand them and try to look at their point of view .. especially when it happens to be different from ours?

Let me use my own father as an example to illustrate what I mean.. He was an extremely intelligent man but in his twilight years.. slowed down a little mentally and physically.. could be extremely stubborn at times and unreasonable to deal with.. but incredibly generous loving and kindhearted most of the time!

There were times when I felt he didn't WANT to understand or look at a situation from my perspective and that was irritating as hell.. but in retrospect.. it was MY ego thinking that I was right and it HAD to be what I said!

This was a person who started from scratch and struggled to buy his own house in a well constructed building that was conveniently located in a prime area in Mumbai! It wasn't easy for a salaried man to do that.. and it called for a lot of sacrifices which he made very happily in order that his family should be comfortable safe and happy! He never once mentioned the sacrifices to us but I know for sure that they existed and were made!

We would make plans to go out for dinner or a movie and at the last minute he would refuse saying he wasn’t up to it! What did I think of? The time I had spent booking the tickets online.. or the difficulty I had had making the reservation.. again.. it was all about ME! Maybe he was genuinely unwell.. or the movie reminded him of something he wanted to forget.. or he was anxious and awkward about using an unfamiliar bathroom.. and I couldn’t see that!

When we were getting some renovation done in the house he would ask (seemingly) trivial questions about what cement was bring used.. or whether the bathroom fittings were made of brass (to avoid rusting) and seeing where we could save some money.. while I was only looking at the aesthetics of the whole thing! So many of those questions come back to me.. and I am flooded with memories about his attention to detail and his wide understanding of so many things people and situations in life..

He spent days on doing so much research before making investments and the benefits came to us in the form of meals at fancy restaurants.. nice clothes and generous holidays! Did all this happen magically? It was all the honest reward to the blood sweat and tears of one man who worked so diligently for so many years.. Am I anyone to judge him?

Whether it was sorting out disagreements within the family.. or how to negotiate a good salary at work.. or how to make the most delicious hand-churned ice cream at home.. he always had a solution for every problem! That was because he always TOOK TIME.. to think things through.. look at it from everyone's point of view.. and then do what was ultimately fair and right to all..

We (the people of my age and younger) are often looking for "quick fixes" and like to believe we know it ALL.. but I would like to make a case for all the 80+ and 90+ people I know here..

Let's keep in mind that they have seen a lot more than we ever will in our lives.. are much wiser.. have faced struggles that we never will.. understand relationships commitment and love without the irrelevant "add-ons" of Valentine's Day.. have the most amazing stoties to tell.. and are storehouses of a wealth of wisdom that we should tap into at every possible opportunity!

A wise person once said that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person and that is so true.. so let us put aside our egos.. and get from them those time-honoured life lessons.. the tried and tested recipes.. the unique character building traits and learn to cherish the simple joys of life as they have always done!

However successful you may be.. however much money you make.. wherever you may live and whatever you may do.. always be patient and do remember to ALWAYS honour and respect the seniors.. Never discount and dismiss them lightly.. they are absolute treasures! THEIR blessings are what remain with us long after they leave us so please cherish them today!

Thank you as always for reading and please remember to share your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

 

I KNOW I AM SUPER BLESSED.. all because of you!!

Life is a kaleidoscope of emotions and experiences.. and they are dynamic so they keep changing all the time.. It can be an absolute roller coaster ride which is fun when the "high highs" are happening and you're on top of the world! 

When the "low lows" happen.. that's a whole different story altogether! What I am saying is basically that it happens to all of us at some time or the other.. and the good thing is that the whole emotion..feeling..experience or whatever it is.. it doesn't last forever! (even though it may feel like it sometimes)

My life has been a bit of a merry-go-round over the last month almost.. there has been  travel.. birthday celebrations.. surprises.. disappointments.. presents.. dinners.. lunches.. hugs.. messages.. love.. and for some strange reason.. also a deep sense of loneliness..

Nobody is to blame.. nothing specific has triggered it.. but it has been disturbing in the extreme and more so because I (who am usually quite expressive) just couldn't pinpoint the feeling or explain what it was to anyone.. because I couldn't understand what it was myself! 

I was quiet.. unsuccessfully introspective and then because I was frustrated.. became snappy and was very rude to my best friend (who I love more than anyone in the world)! I didn't ever imagine that I could ever be so nasty and she (being the sweetheart that she is) just listened to my unreasonable and illogical talk patiently without judging or giving me advice..

Ultimately found the reasons for my (mis)behaviour and firstly said a thank you prayer for wise and patient guidance along with a non- judgemental listening ear given to me by my guru.. so blessed and grateful for your presence in my life GKG..

Taking a nap in the afternoon always helps me see thenworld differently.. and here I am.. as good as new (whatever that is)! Did my usual stuff and just got off the phone after a 21 minute long call with my bestie whose name I can't mention here (because she is very quiet and shy)! 

I talked my heart out to her and apologized and explained what had happened and what did I get in return? Love.. love and more love! Reassurance that she and all my other friends are always "right here" to support me and help me in any way they can.. and I should never feel lonely and keep quiet about it! 

You know who you are.. so all I will say is THANK YOU for always being the brightest shining beacon of light in my life.. and you are such an exceptionally pure soul who doesn't even know how much your light illuminates my world! God bless you and I love you and hope everyone is fortunate enough to have a friend like you to go through life with!

Sending love to all those of you in my life who care for me.. share with me.. understand me.. accept me and love me (even when I am not loveable)! Know that you are special and that you matter.. and I am so thankful for your presence in my life!

Thank you as always for reading and please remember to include your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

God bless all those who commit to friendship and abide by it no matter what.. keep shining your light as bright as you can!!

MAKE TIME TO DO THE LITTLE THINGS.. they aren't so little!!

When the weekend beckons all of us feel happy and look forward to a leisurely two days of taking life easy and not doing very much at all.. right? Right! How many of us are doing pure physical work that is so exhausting thay it warrants two full days of rest? None!

Speaking for myself.. and remember here that I am NOT employed and do NOT have a job at all.. 9 to 5 or otherwise! I just LOVE the weekends because thats when I get to meet the people I love who are usually busy through the week..

I have a very dear friend (actually my soul sister) in Poona.. she's older than I am and has been very unwell and thankfully is home from the hospital and recovering well now.. Yesterday I had this feeling that I MUST meet her so texted and asked to which she vwry graciously and sweetly agreed and asked what I would like to eat for lunch! 

My trusty driver Dinesh and I left at 8:15 am with some fruit and a few treats for her.. I was fast asleep in the car so he took the "Missing Link" (which I was dead against since I didn't know what condition it was in after the rains) and lo and behold.. We arrived at the house at 10:45 sharp! Mumbai to Pune in 2.5 hours.. in my opinion that's awesome!

She was resting when I reached but came out in 15 minutes and we spent an absolutely delightful and enjoyable few hours telling each other stories of our lives.. catching up on the latest happenings and generally just loving our time together! As always there was a delectable lunch to partake of and time passed slowly (but at the speed of light if you know what I mean)!

Before either one of us realized it was 2 pm and time to leave for Mumbai.. My feet dragged and reluctantly I got.up to leave.. but I know she needed to rest but she gave me the warmest hug when I left and said she felt so much better and happier for seeing me.. that made my day!!

A friend in Mumbai texted when I was on the way back and said "Hats off to you" and when I asked her "For what?" She replied saying "Doing a Poona trip in one day can be exhausting" but I am far from exhausted.. and this "once in a month" visit is a commitment I have made from the heart! 

To be honest, I am refreshed revitalized and so genuinely happy that the travel didn't bother me at all.. What a wonderful privilege it is to have someone special who welcomes me with a genuinely happy heart and smile.. who looks forward to meeting me and gives me such a lovely afternoon! I feel blessed and so grateful for this bond and friendship..

The next time you can spare the time.. go a little bit out of your way and do something nice for a pwrson who isnt expecting it.. Give the people you love the gift of time.. and they will be on Cloud 9.. really! 

Send flowers for no reason.. drop in just to "chill and chat".. just make that little effort.. and take it from me.. it isn't so little after all! Make the people you love know that you love them.. won't wait.. Don't postpone making your special people feel special.. do something today!!

Thank you (as always) for reading and do please add your name at the beginning or end of your comment, should you choose to write one!

IN A WORLD FULL OF MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE.. what are we building?

Watching the news and reading the newspapers every day.. we are mute and horrified witness to unimaginable stories of cruelty and violence! People are being murdered in a fit of anger.. raped as a consequence of bottled up frustration..  kidnapped as a way of getting easy money.. abused by supposedly "safe" adults and the stories go on.. 

It is absolutely terrifying.. the number of people suffering from mild moderate and severe degrees of mental illnesses just walking free.. undiagnosed.. unknown and untreated.. It's enough to make one wonder if we will come home safe and sound at the end of the day! There is no guarantee that we are going to encounter people all of whom are going to think respond react and interact with us the way we do with them.. 

Very often these inexplicable and unreasonable behaviours stem from early childhood.. from parents who never said "no" and thought (mistakenly) that young children shouldn't be disciplined.. The thing with children and all human beings (I believe) is that we all NEED discipline in our lives - it is what gives us a sense of security and teaches us to respect boundaries in our relationships with people! 

The truth is that we can't change anyone else but we can definitely change ourselves! Speaking for myself.. rather than living in fear and complaining about how dangerous the times are.. we need to understand that we are the architects of our own lives and start building..

Building but what should we build? We need to build patience acceptance and tolerance.. both with ourselves as well as with others.. We need to understand that sometimes treatment and therapy are not affordable.. available or accepted.. and for whatever reason.. unable to cope with the pressure that builds up! 

It is imperative that we need to build our reserves of inner resilience and that will come from the regular practice of gratitude and time spent in reflection introspection and simply learning how to "be".. be with ourselves and be with others! 

Learning to "be" also comes from what we think speak and do.. it comes from what we "become" as a result of our thoughts words and deeds.. As we grow and evolve.. we move from merely "becoming" and master the art and supremely important ability of "being"..

Learning to find joy in the little things.. celebrating similarities and still respecting differences.. accepting that circumstances may be out of our control and accepting the consequences of our (sometimes) faulty decisions and errors of judgement are all habits that build character..

All of us need to make a conscious effort to build our levels and reserves of empathy kindness and gratitude.. more importantly we need to learn to "hold steady" when things get tough! 

Most of all.. we need to protect the light within us.. and share it and shine it to help light the path for those who are lost in the darkness of confusion anger sorrow and negativity!

Wishing you to be a wonderfully successful architect of your life and may every support system strength and quality you build and enhance help to make this world a better place for us all..

Thank you as always for reading.. and if you choose to post a comment.. please remember to add your name at the beginning or the end!

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO YOU Daddy.. wherever you are!

What IS it about Daddies and their daughters that is so magical? Do all Daddies see themselves as knights in shining armour that wait eagerly for the blessing of a little princess to cherish guard and protect? Do they feel this level of being fiercely protective and loving simultaneously towards any other human being? Unlikely..

I have (obviously) never been a father but based on stories I have heard growing up.. my Dad always wanted a little girl! Not that he wasn’t happy when my brother was born.. but when I arrived amid a lot of drama and stress with my mother having gone through a high risk toxaemia pregnancy and weighing a mere 4 pounds despite being a Caesarean delivery.. the joy and relief were both unmistakable!

For someone was was pretty unexpressive and stoical, he actually “blossomed” into this extremely demonstrative and loving father that wore his heart absolutely on his sleeve! He used to make up songs especially for me (when I was just a baby) and insist that Mummy hold me and put the telephone to my ear so he could sing them to me (often in the middle of a working day)! When you stop to consider that the first call made after my birth was not to my grandparents, but to confirm an order for a beautiful necklace and pair of matching earrings.. that pretty much says it all!

Childhood was a magical time filled with picnics vacations food and fun.. love and laughter! Most weekend mornings I remember waking up wearing my pyjamas and wrapped in my quilt lying in the boot of the car.. constant surprise driving trips to Lonavala.. Khandala.. Poona and even Mahabaleshwar etc.. He used to sing Bengali popular music and Gujarati folk songs on the way so I grew up perhaps not with understanding.. but definitely with appreciation!

He believed that travel and exposure to different experiences was the best way to learn and grow so we did plenty of that.. Being a firm but fair disciplinarian.. I learned to stay and “make do” in all kind of places from ashrams to dharamshalas (1 star) to Government circuit houses and guest houses (3 star) to the fanciest of hotels (5 stars)! Would I ever be the little brat running around a restaurant screaming while waiting to be served? You’ve got to be kidding.. it would be word games or riddles or jokes or being instructed on the correct way to hold and wield a fork and knife.. quietly!

I remember how for my tenth birthday (first double digit birthday and for that reason very special) I asked for a Barbie Townhouse.. indulgent in the extreme but also very clear that he wanted me to grow up with more than two ideas in my head.. the Barbie townhouse came and along with it.. two cartons full to the top with abridged versions of all the classics from A Tale of Two Cities to The Taming of The Shrew to Heidi to Little Women to What Katy Did and a whole lot more besides! Is it surprising that I loved essay writing the most in school?!

Growing up as a teenager I had my icons in Abba.. Lionel Richie.. Wham and The Carpenters.. and he understood perfectly that this phase had to happen and although he wouldn’t allow posters to be put up on the walls.. he got a big softboard for my room and we were both happy! I was given pocket money weekly with the warning that nothing more would be forthcoming until the next week but at the same time the reassurance that I could spend it on whatever I wanted (and there would be no questions asked)!

Believe it or not.. he was convinced that girls were equal to or maybe even superior to boys and that’s the reason he taught me how to repair a burnt out fuse (this was before the days of the ACB or Automatic Circuit Breaker).. change a bulb.. change a tyre that was punctured.. and how to choose and buy the best fruits and vegetables from the market! What incredible life lessons they were and I am truly blessed to have received them with a lot of love and patience!

His work ethic was amazing.. sometimes 12 to 16 hours a day and later on as he got older.. 9:30 to 5:30 at the office but any calls from home had to be put through to him immediately.. no matter who he was sitting with at the time! I could have been calling to complain about something or crying about something and the response was always a patient hearing.. a gentle suggestion or else a promise that it would be dealt with once he got home from work!

Thank you Daddy for teaching me that while cooking.. the integrity of flavour of the vegetables must be enhanced and not suppressed with spices.. that a hotel room must always be checked before booking (those were the days when we could).. that punctuality was the politeness not only of princes but also of his princess.. and that as I went through my professional life.. most times I would need to choose between being efficient and being popular.. and that I think I managed pretty well!

When Disney invited me to Hong Kong for an interview (as Early Childhood consultant on a hugely popular show called Playhouse Disney), he was as proud as a cat with two tails.. after him I was the only person in our family to be invited abroad for a job interview! It wasn’t until he explained to me that I even understood that it WAS actually a big deal!

He gloried in me and I gloried in him and there can never be anyone else quite as special.. but God has been extremely kind and there are P1 and P2 who have stepped up magnificently.. filled the gaps and make sure that I am protected cherished looked after and loved unconditionally! I feel like the luckiest daughter in the world and Happy Father’s Day wherever you are Daddy.. know that you will always be madly adored loved cherished and missed.. in the magical way only daughters can!!

Thank you as always for reading and please leave your name before or after the comment (if you should choose to write one)!

Happy Father’s Day to all those of you who are lucky enough to still have them!!

 

 

 

WAKE UP CALLS.. are necessary!

 WAKE UP CALLS.. are necessary!

What a lovely feeling it is when life is chugging along smoothly.. and then all of a sudden.. wham! A number of things will go haywire and generate all kinds of stress that you don't want!

In my mind.. the last couple of days have been challenging to say the least! My trusty Lenovo desktop computer suddenly went kamikaze on me.. I kept trying to "shut down" but like the proverbial bad penny.. it kept restarting! The fan inside also went beserk and was whirring and making a racket!

I belong to a generation that likes to believe that rebooting is the solution to most problems but.. no! Nothing worked so I called the techie home.. he checked and said it would have to be taken to their service centre so off he went with my precious cargo.. hopefully it should be fixed and back home soon!

The powers that be didn't think that was enough so the pressure pump that takes care of the water supply in two of my bathrooms suddenly just stopped working! Called my plumber who declared gleefully that he is in "gaon" for a month! Hearing my crestfallen voice he kindly arranged for his team to come and take a look.. and they did! 

We never do things by halves so apparently it's got to be replaced for a ridiculously large amount of money.. but German pumps are the best so I paid up (not very happily though it must be confessed)! It will be installed tomorrow but until then we are managing comfortably..

The internet connectivity dropped to 56 mbps on a Jio 150 mbps plan so that was another SOS call which fortunately was addressed and resolved very quickly thank God!

The crowning glory happened at my house in Lonavala.. I had a small Godrej safe (empty) that was kept with some extra stuff.. Some desperate hopeful had attempted to open it (unsuccessfully) and in frustration (I think) broke the handle! Brought it to Mumbai and contacted Godrej who sent someone called Subhash to my house yesterday..

It was the end of what must have been a long and tiring day for him.. but this man was exceedingly polite patient and gracious.. He was carrying an extremely heavy backpack and when I offered him tea coffee or a cold drink requested a glass of water.. He did his work quietly.. refused an advance and tip (even when I offered it) and before he left.. told me he was a handyman and could do carpentry electrical and plumbing work as well!

When I mentioned my pressure pump problem he immediately offered to take a look but I told him it was being taken care of.. My house was his last call of the day and am sure he was tired and wanting to get home.. He asked me to please save his number and share it with anyone who needed help.. 

Think about it.. this is someone who goes from house to house in the scorching sun and is still so pleasant and kind! He was helpful gracious and smiling.. and it was a wake up call to me to think that we can all sometimes behave so entitled and a little rude and snappy and blame it on the heat! And I had the good fortune to meet someone who has a tough job but keeps a wonderful temperament! 

Made me count my blessings and resolve to try and be pleasant kind understanding and patient no matter what the circumstances because at the end of the day.. everyone is fighting a battle that you don't know anything about! 

God bless Subhashjee and do get in touch with me if you need him for any small repair jobs! Am also very grateful for the "wake up" call and lesson that although he didn't teach.. I learned!

Thank you as always for reading and please share your name at the beginning or end of the comment (should you choose to write one)!

BEING "MAASI" ON MOTHER'S DAY..

 BEING "MAASI" ON MOTHER'S DAY.. what a feeling!

"Happy Mother's Day" is as American as it gets.. right "up there" with Mom and apple pie.. right? Not absolutely necessary.. in my opinion!

Mother's Day is a day to celebrate those people who brought us into the world and have been consistently the most sacrificing loving giving and understanding people on the planet.. and I agree!

Am irresistibly tempted to share my take on the occasion of Mother's Day this year.. In Hindi (which is our national language) "Maa" means "mother" and "Maasi" means "Maa si or Maa jaisi" which means  like a mother" and that is so lovely!

Traditionally "Maasi" has been the person who has loved you the most (after your parents) and a number of Bollywood movies have shown "Maasi" to be the default "natural choice" for remarriage if a mother passes away leaving young children behind..

Being "Maasi" in India is super fun.. because you get to be "Maa jaisi" with all the joy and none of the responsibilities! You get to do the "fun stuff" without the headache of planning and coordination! You get all the "non-transactional" hugs and kisses and don't have to be the "bad cop" who says "No"!

You get to be the indulgent adult who doesn't have to discipline them.. and the "sounding board" who is often the first "court of appeal" (Can you please explain to Mamma because she isn"t listening to me?)..

Speaking for myself.. I am.. technically speaking.. definitely NOT a mother.. but luckily am "Maasi" to a number of young (and not quite so young" people all of whom call me "Maasi"! All of them are my."betus" and I can't imagine my world and my life without them!

They are the ones who fill that "slightly empty space" in my heart with their unconditional love and acceptance of me just as I am.. with all my faults and failings.. no matter what!

Some of them are from my family and hence related" or they are my friend's children.. and for still others "Maasi" is a brevet title.. but it makes no difference because I love them all the same!

All my "betus" are super special and I am blessed to have them to love pamper and cherish! Whether it is Ujwala (who often gives me "motherly" advice).. Brinda (who tries to save my money).. Rehaan (who's coming over to have lunch with me today.. Radhika (who calls me her "university") Shefali (who actually considers me to b a wise person..) Samir (who's been my quintessential "laddu peda".. SK (who tells me in a million different ways that she loves me).. or Taera (who keeps in touch regularly despite a gruelling work schedule in medical college) or any of the others.. and there are so many more! 

It is an incredibly special feeling for me to be unconditionally loved respected and truly cherished by them and vice versa! ❤️ Who needs the big declarations of love on Mother's Day? Not me for sure.. because my heart is full of gratitude! God bless and thank you so much all my precious "betus" for being in my life.. and know that you are impossibly and madly loved! 

And let's always remember that we are often "mothers" to our friends families colleagues neighbours and staff as well.. whenever we say or do something to nurture.. nourish.. accept.. understand.. solve a problem or "kiss it and make it better (even virtually speaking..) because THAT is the magical power of being "Maasi who is Maa jaisi"! 

My prayer is just that these bonds always remain as sacred pure and beautiful as they are today! The special moments that we share with each other are what help to keep our "lifeboats afloat" when the waters of our lives get choppy!

Thank you ( as always) for reading and Happy Mother's Day to you! If any part of this blog has resonated with you.. please feel free to post a comment and do remember to add your name at the beginning or the end of it!

MAGICAL THINGS HAPPEN.. when you're truly blessed!

Life is a kaleidoscope of colours that keep changing.. some days are smooth as silk while others feel like you’re trying (unsuccessfully) to scale Mt. Everest.. Some days you get the red light at every traffic signal and others you receive a surprise gift when you order something online!

I got a lovely surprise this afternoon.. was at one of my favourite restaurants called Circle 69 for friend with my darling niece who is visiting from Jaipur and an old and very dear friend! Thursday is a “Thai Sabai” day and we ate our way through some delicious and very innovative dishes on the menu thoroughly enjoying ourselves!

To say that the food was scrumptious and the service outstanding would be a gross understatement.. but should convey what a wonderful afternoon it was.. The conversation was relaxed and flowed effortlessly from one topic to another.. and finally after we were thoroughly replete with a most unusual dessert of a Tamarind Sorbet with a Coconut Salsa.. we obviously asked for the bill..

Both our servers just went about their business clearing the table and tidying up generally so I asked for the bill again thinking maybe they didn’t hear me the first time.. That was when they both smiles at us and said “there is no bill today.. your lunch is on us..” When I asked them the reason why.. was it the restaurant’s anniversary or something.. they very sweetly and simply said “You are a regular guest and we are so happy to host you today”!

To say that I was gobsmacked and rendered speechless would be a completely accurate description of what I felt at that moment! Here was absolute generosity of spirit and grace in the most unexpected place! What a sweet gesture and it brought all three of us such joy! A generous tip to our servers Pujan and the other two (unfortunately I don’t know their names) was the only way we could convery our appreciation and gratitude for the magnanimous gesture!

Kudos to Team Circle 69 for being high on culinary prowess.. IQ.. EQ and sheer unadulterated kindness! Would I go back to eat here? In a heartbeat.. and not just for the food or the service but for the warmth and niceness of the people that make the place as welcoming and wonderful as it is! Thank you so very much and know that this afternoon was a special memory that I will always cherish!

The lesson here to that it’s always lovely to give surprises once in a while simply because the joy of the unexpected is always magical! To my mind it’s fun to send flowers for no particular reason.. write a special goodnight message.. make a call to someone who’s definitely not expecting it.. and just do thoughtful and kind little things that end up occupying the biggest spaces in people’s hearts!

God bless everyone for whom gratitude and kindness are a way of life and a “default setting”.. keep being a good person and the world will be good to you too!

Thank you so much (as always) for reading and if you choose to write a comment.. PLEASE add your name at the beginning or the end! God bless and much love always!

 

Happy Women's Day.. to all the special women in my life..

This year I want to celebrate Women's Day by honouring all the incredible women in my life who have inspired me.. taught me.. believed in me.. supported me.. and have been the most amazing role models! I am truly blessed to have so many of them in my life..

Let me begin with my mother.. Mummy (or Vasu as I affectionately called her) was the strongest and also the most strong headed woman I have ever known! Not always the most reasonable person.. but very gutsy! Can never forget how she drove two school friends and me to Shanmukhananda Hall in pouring rain in car where the headlights and horn weren't working and there were no wipers either! That was super brave!

And there are Jana Mahadevan Nalini Chugani and Nandita Jhaveri all of whom were my professors in teacher's training college! I was in a sense "the naughtiest girl in the class" but they chose to look beyond that.. see my potential and nurtured and encouraged me to achieve what I was capable of! Thank you so much for believing in me no matter what and never giving up on me though what was possibly the most exhausting year of my life until then!

Professionally.. every teacher I have worked with has inspired me in more ways than I can explain here.. my dear friend Dinaz Stafford who entrusted her precious street children and "Didis" at Salaam Baalak Trust to my tender care.. my social worker Sucheta Banerjee who taught me courage to handle irascible and unreasonable parents (even when I was confronted with a knife).. my largely Marathi speaking team who guided me gently through the unspoken pathways of how to deal with street children.. Rajeshree Didi who was always patient and gentle.. Rajni Didi who was always in a hurry.. Shubhangi Didi who had to be gently reminded that the toys in class were for the children to PLAY with and not just look at! Milind and Agnes who taught me it was possible to be firm and loving simultaneously..

Moving from professional to personal I have to mention Brinda Jhaveri.. the one person who always loved me unconditionally.. and was a soft "filter" between Mummy's anger and me on numerous occasions! She taught me resilience for sure..

Let’s talk about my friend-cum-mentor plus plus Roshan Billimoria.. she lives in Pune (my monthly trips are to meet her)! She is, in the truest sense.. my “soul sister” and there are just too many parallels in our lives for them to be mere coincidence! She sets an amazing table and runs a household that functions like well-oiled machinery and she makes it all seem effortless (where I know nothing could be further from the truth).. I have learned from her how gentlewomen speak softly and have impeccable manners and are the most gracious hostesses.. of course I am still a “work in progress” but my trying my best.. will never be at her level though..

There are my school friends.. Shriti Kapadia who is my voice of reason and good sense.. Niamat Cassum who has taught me to face life calmly no matter what.. Anu Kohli who spreads sunshine wherever she goes.. Manisha Desai who is so positive that I have never ever heard say anything remotely less than complimentary about anyone.. and Yukti Asher who is the most enthusiastic admin I have ever seen on any WhatsApp group.. always ready to make a plan and always making time for friends..

 My college friends are very special.. Parul Jhaveri who is the one who has taught me always “hosh mein josh mat kho baitho” and always encouraged me to follow my heart.. If I have changed from a tomboy to someone who is presentably dressed it is thanks to Lavina Roy who is the epitome of sartorial elegance.. she is the one who explained to me that when we dress up.. if our shoes are black our handbag must be black too.. if our shoes are beige.. our handbag must be beige too etc.. Smita Mankani.. what do I say about her? She is a living breathing piece of my heart outside my body! Nobody (and I mean nobody except my parents) could possibly love me more than she does and vice versa! She lives the phrase of “open house” and her generosity with hospitality.. food.. and time to “just sit and chat” is legendary! Of course she is also Oliver Twist and not matter how much time I spend with her.. it is never enough!

And then there are friends who are typical to Mumbai “building friends”.. there is Aarti Jhaveri who has demonstrated patience and jaw-dropping hospitality by always hosting me with practised ease and a unbelievable level of warmth! She embodies the essence of “Atithi Devo Bhava” to the ultimate level.. Varsha Chavan who has tried (without much success) to try and teach me to be dignified but also been my partner in crime all through our growing up years together.. we share a lot of secrets that are “TMBM” otherwise known as “Tere Mere Beech Mein”! My neighbour Rashmi Kharbanda.. undemonstrative except for the rare occasions when a spontaneous hug is forthcoming or a sentimental message suddenly pops up on my phone! She shows me how to do some “technical stuff” on the phone (e.g. uploading my boarding pass on Digi Yatra) and is forever telling me to “slow down”!

And last but definitely not the least.. there is Renu Haksar (or Renu Singh as I like to call her).. another one who I think of as “do jism ek jaan” and another part of my heart outside my body! We have taught together.. pretty much read each other’s minds.. give each other good advice and take care of each other no matter what! She is super meticulous and very organized.. am trying my best to be like that but not very successfully yet! We have to talk every night and 10 pm and refer to ourselves as each other’s “human sleeping pills”!

There have been and still are so many others that I could write about but some of them are too private and now I am too tired to type any more! Lastly there is GKG who is the embodiment of every virtue I strive to have as a human being.. genuine.. fearless.. strong and absolutely focused with total clarity of thought and speech! Am not naming her (because there will be hell to pay) but she is the reason I am the person I am today instead of the “lost soul” I was for so long!

 If you are reading this.. and if you receive my “Morning Magic” know that you are special important and a cherished person in my life! I feel incredibly to have met know.. to know you.. to love you.. to be loved by you.. to be inspired and motivated by you and to have you in my life! Thank you for believing in me (more than I believe in myself sometimes)! I am blessed to have all of you as a part of my “cheerleading squad” and promise to honour uphold and keep these relationships and bonds for always!

Thank you so much (as always) for reading and wishing you an exceptionally Happy Women’s Day!! Please do remember to add your name at the beginning or the end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

 God bless and much love always to everyone reading!!

WHAT DO YOU DO when you're stuck?!

So here I am sitting at Bangalore (sorry.. read that as Bengaluru) airport's gate number 5 waiting for the flight to Mumbai to announce boarding.. The Air India flight was acheduled to take off at 7 pm.. that was delayed to 7:45 and now to 8:45..

Airports are wonderful places for my favourite pastime which is "people watching" and it is interesting (to say the very least) to hear the collective crestfallen moans and groans.. and mumbling and grumbling when the delay is announced.. and to see faces go from being crestfallen to irritated to resigned to angry.. to see people going up to the hapless counter staff to demand explanations that are seldom available! 

Considering what's happening in the global scenario.. we are still blessed to be indoors.. safe.. sitting in comfortable chairs and in a sense.. lucky to be given some extra "free time" to be used as we choose!

Mobile phones are a boon and a bane at times like this.. some people are constantly updating their status to friends family and colleagues.. others are maybe sitting and utilizing this time to make their "to do" lists for the week ahead.. 

Some people who are fasting for the holy month of Ramazan are perhaps thinking about and looking forward to the meal they will eat when they get home and break their fast.. 

A few people are venting their frustration towards the situation and airline and just plain and simple annoyed that they have no control over the situation.. We are  all different and human at the end of the day right? It is normal to feel like this however..

My take on this is.. So I haven't been able to send out my "Morning magic" for the last few days.. and chances are high that tonight will be a late night.. so let me use this "free time" as a "bonus" and do a few things..

I said a heartfelt message for world peace to prevail.. for all those who are "stuck" at airports and other countries and unable to get home (for one reason or another).. for everyone to be safe and with their loved ones at the earliest.. for flights to normalize soon.. made my "to do" list for the week ahead and then sat down to write this blog!

At the risk of sounding holier than thou.. less then desirable situations can be opportunities to build faith patience and resilience if we perceive them as such! We need to see the "big picture" and think beyond ourselves.. and make the best of the situation! 

The state of mind we keep ourselves in and the way we handle being in challenging situations defines who we truly are as human beings.. Let's try to be our best selves and stay positive calm and accepting instead of succumbing to annoyance anger and negativity! 

Maybe this is the perfect time to ask yourself "what do you do when you're stuck?"

Thank you as always for reading and please remember to share your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

God bless and wishing you a lovely evening and a great week ahead!

AI.. is Absolutely Intimidating! AI-YO AI-YO AI-YO!!

AI better known as Artificial Intelligence is all set to take over the world pretty much and that is very scary for someone like me who’s pretty much a tech geek! I hear people singing it’s praises and understand that it can be used to do almost everything you could want.. 

I know doctors sometimes refer to it for help with complex diagnoses.. teachers use it for help with drafting reports.. students use it to write more interesting essays.. kitchen enthusiasts use it to make even more delicious food.. and people even use it as a counselling and therapy aid.. Frankly speaking.. this is the part about it that I don’t like..

AI is entering almost every sphere of our lives and replacing people.. it is reducing jobs and the announcements and predictions of the numbers of people being “laid off” from their jobs sounds terrifying! What is the world coming to? It’s bad enough that a number of people now have hundreds (and even thousands) of friends on Facebook but nobody to talk to when they are down in the dumps! How does a computer replace having a friend hug you reassuringly and tell you it’s going to be alright?

People who are closer to my age and still working will be at a complete loss if they lose their jobs now.. especially if they are still supporting their families financially! I don’t ever see myself being happy to do a medical consultation and get a diagnosis and line of treatment from a computer (or a bot or whatever it’s called).. Having taught little children for so many years, I am convinced that nothing and nobody can replace the sunny smile and warm good morning hugs that are shared when the children come into the classroom!

I accept that AI is making a huge impact and creating multiple opportunities for growth and learning.. but am just saying let’s not allow it to “take over” our personal lives! Keep the “human factor” very much alive by drafting and texting your OWN messages.. learn family recipes sitting at the knees of your mother or grandmother.. imbibe family values and beliefs from your parents when you sit to pray eat or talk with each other!

Agreed Artificial Intelligence is a wonderful tool.. but it’s no match for natural stupidity! Think of how much fun it is to sit with your friends and crack silly jokes over beer and wafers! Organize a get together with the friends you went on holiday with and share stories about what you saw and did and relive those memories! Spend quality time with the people and make that “no screen time”! Don’t allow AI to permeate and take over every part of your life!

Unfortunately there are people who are using AI to harm us as well.. there is a video doing the rounds on WhatsApp telling us NOT to help a stranger who purports to be asking for help with his or her phone.. AI doesn’t want your password or money.. this is a way of getting your biometrics.. eye recognition.. voice recognition.. fingerprints etc.. How sad that things have come to a stage where we can not follow our natural human instincts of being kind and helpful.. seemingly innocent situations are fraught with peril too!

Am sure that the very limited amount of technology I use is also to a greater or lesser extent thanks to AI but please keep your life “as real.. as simple and as uncomplicated” as possible! Please understand that I am not rejecting AI (which is impossible to do) but just sharing a gentle reminder not to get excessively “carried away” by it!!

Thank you as always for reading and do remember to add your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY.. to all those of us who love..

Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love.. the people we love.. our friends.. family.. significant others.. teachers.. students.. neighbours.. and a plethora of people besides! Do we ever sit down and think about WHY we love certain people so much?

How about this year we celebrate Valentine’s Day (continuing into tomorrow because I am writing this post late) by telling the people we love “Happy Valentine’s Day and I love you because…” or “Happy Valentine’s Day and what I love about you is…” or “Happy Valentine’s Day and I love it when you… or “Happy Valentine’s Day and I love when we…”

The second part of the sentence could be anything from expressing appreciation for thoughtfulness.. or something like admiring beautiful eyes.. a generous heart.. a patient disposition.. or gratitude for being supportive and understanding.. or something like I love it when you make me the perfect cup of coffee because you know exactly how I like it.. or I love it when we just sit and chat about everything something and nothing all at the same time!

It’s always a lovely feeling to be made to feel special loved and cherished.. and for a change it’s fun to do and say things differently.. How about you tidy up a messy friend’s writing desk to show your love.. or run a couple of errands for a friend whose list is never ending.. or just pack a couple of sandwiches and some fruit and take him or her on a long drive (in a chauffeur driven car or on the top of a double decker bus) and chat and snack for an hour or so..

Somebody wise once wrote “Love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay.. because love isn’t love until you give it away”! This is so true and love doesn’t have to be romantic or filial or friendly or familial.. Love is when you get dropped home and the person waits to make sure you’re safely in the building.. love is when you’re going to check into a boutique hotel for the first time and someone accompanies you make sure everything is kosher.. Love is when someone always eats the “gutli” of the mango saying they like it so that you get to eat the nice part.. love is a stack of freshly washed and perfectly ironed clothes that are still warm to the touch.. Love is when someone texts just to ask how your day is going..

Let’s drop the idea that Valentine’s Day is only for couples that are madly “in love” because that’s just a marketing gimmick.. and that “Galentine’s Day” is only for girlfriends.. Valentine’s Day is a day to recognize value respect and cherish the value of the love we receive (spoken or silent) from everyone in our world!

Today I would like to send love especially to all those of you who read my “Morning Magic” and encourage me to write and share my thoughts.. to everyone in my world who enjoys spending time with me.. to everyone I have the best conversations with.. to everyone who looks after me.. indulges me.. prays for me.. and most of all.. to all those people who bring positive energy to my life!

God bless and Happy Valentine’s Day to you all.. and as always.. thank you so much for reading and I love it when you share your thoughts and comments on the blog (WITH your names please)!!

 

NINE YEARS SINCE YOU’RE GONE DADDY.. I miss you so much!

Today is the 3^rd of February.. and marks nine years since you’re gone Daddy.. gone from the physical world I live in.. but always and very much present and “right here” in my heart! It is often said and commonly believed that the pain of losing someone you love deeply settles with the passage of time.. and nine years is not an insignificant amount of time by any standards..

Why then do I still miss you SO MUCH with each passing day? Why is the pain so raw that tears come to my eyes as soon as I think of you or whenever someone takes your name? Why have you left a gaping hole in my heart so huge that no amount of tears grieving or prayers can fill it? Why isn’t there a magical way of ending the pain of loss and getting complete closure? Why hasn’t medical science been able to make a pill that can cure heartache and heartbreak yet?

As Jainism rightly says.. attachment is not a bad thing.. but it leads to a great deal of pain.. The religion says we should practice “attachment with detachment” but I am asking HOW? How do you not get attached to the one person in the world who has tossed you high up in the air and caught you every time as you were falling.. who pushed you into the deep end of the pool and jumped in immediately to grab and hug you as you floated to the surface gasping for breath.. who taught you to eat perfectly with a knife and fork when you were a really little girl of perhaps 4 or 5 years old?

How do you get over missing someone who started every morning and ended every night with hugs and kisses.. who taught you the difference between right and wrong and to uphold the courage of your conviction no matter what.. who lived by the principle of “don’t do as I say but do as I do”.. who was absolutely meticulous in everything he said and did and who cracked the funniest jokes with the straightest face.. How? It just isn’t humanly possible!

It is always the most difficult day in the year for me because literally minute to minute there is an “action replay” that happens in my head and heart that goes on vividly.. I remember everything that happened that day in heartbreaking detail.. but today I don’t want to dwell on my sorrow..

Gratitude.. kindness.. compassion and karuna are the four solid cornerstones of my life now and it is time to be grateful for and to appreciate all the wonderful people who were around me this day that year.. and thereafter as well.. I am overwhelmed to the doctors nurses and team at Breach Candy Hospital who were so caring kind and respectful in their care for Daddy.. to my helper Kishore who spent that last night at the hospital with Daddy and broke the news gently to me.. to all my friends and family who rallied round to hug me.. hold me.. offer their shoulders for support.. make arrangements for everything that needed to be done in the aftermath of death..

Looking and thinking back.. it was truly overwhelming to have a “patchwork quilt” of wonderfully kind and sensitive people that “came together” to be my safe space during that traumatic time.. and to have so many even today.. people who remember that today is a tough day for me.. who message and call.. who come over just to spend some quiet time with me.. I am not writing names here but you know who you are.. and you are deeply loved appreciated and cherished for having the kindest hearts in the Universe.. Thank you so much for being in my life and making it so much better with your care concern and consideration!

And wherever you are Daddy.. know always that you are loved cherished treasured and missed all the time and every single day.. but I am your daughter and will face the day as you would want me to.. with the bravest smile on my face.. the strongest will to “hold steady” and not break down and the deepest love in my heart..

Thank you so much (as always) for reading and please remember to add your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

HOW INDIAN AM I REALLY.. on Republic Day..

There has been a plethora of messages flooding my phone wishing me “Happy Republic Day” pretty much since I woke up this morning.. Every Hindi tv channel is telecasting an episode that contains a measure of patriotism and the radio channels are playing patriotic songs by various and sundry playback singers and composers.. All very nice and good to watch and listen to but it also set me thinking..

How Indian am I really? In terms of genes and heredity I am 100% “made in India” with both my parents 100% Indian as well.. I am marginally geographically dyslexic since I was born in Dishergarh West Bengal to a Gujarati Jain father and a Surti Rajput Gujarati mother.. After spending the first three years of my life in Durgapur, West Bengal I came to Mumbai, Maharashtra for a short while before my parents relocated to Hancock, New York and THAT was when I felt like I was very “different” for the first time!

On the surface I was as American as the next kid in my class.. but I struggled to understand and speak a different language at home (my mother tongue Gujarati.. At school I made peace with eating weird things like bologna sandwiches and at home I ate foods that were unpronounceable and equally alien to me and my palate! My father although very loving wanted to make sure that I grew up knowing I was INDIAN! A tough lesson to learn at 5 years old when no one could pronounce my name and insisted on calling me “the little Indian girl”.. and I HAD to learn ALL their names! Switching between languages at home became a game for me and I didn’t like losing so my verbal Gujarati became pretty good and my spoken English became very American! There were times and occasions when my mother had to ask me to repeat mysef a few times because I was completely “Yankee Doodle” with drawl and all..

We returned to Mumbai in 1972 just before my 9^th birthday and my Dad was offered a job up in Nabha, Punjab.. Mummy and I went up to what was a land of incredibly hospitable and warm people and 99% Sardar-occupied to see and experience it for ourselves.. After a house party where I was surrounded by little “surds and surdlets” who kept calling me “Gal sun” (instead of Pallavi as I mistakenly thought) and Mummy finally being served a whiskey (after asking FOUR times) we decided that living in Bombay was a more interesting option and returned home at the earliest!

Did I feel Indian then? Heck no! Getting admitted to Queen Mary School drummed it into me without a doubt.. I was admitted in July and had to learn Hindi and Gujarati (both spoken and written) and give the final exam in December if I wanted to be promoted to standard 5! I became “Indian” overnight with the languages.. the food.. learning to communicate with staff and nobody understanding my Yankee Doodle accent!

The years passed by and I grew to become totally “Indian” in spite of studying French and travelling abroad many times! The family intricacies of “kaka kaki mama masi etc.. were explained to me and also the ubiquitous usage of “uncle and aunty” to all other adults who were superior to me in age and henceforth must be respected as such! I integrated really well and did whatever I was told without question which lasted well through college!

Instead of traversing through the 20s to the 60s decadewise.. let me just say that today at 62+ I am completely Indian! I LOVE Indian textiles.. food.. hospitality.. music.. family values and culture.. What I do NOT like at all is the corruption that runs rampant through most channels in the country.. the commercialization of religion and education (am still an old fashioned idealist).. the filthy bathrooms that you can smell before you see them.. the fact that dowry still exists and lastly.. that we are still very much on the backfoot as far as retaliation to terror attacks is concerned!

I love travelling to different countries.. adore French perfume and am a diehard fan of Belgian soap.. I love the quality of rubber bands and safety pins they sell at Daiso and can only wear On Cloud shoes.. (That’s for medical and practical reasons).. I Just wish Indian manufacturers and retailers had higher standards of integrity and that in return for the insanely high taxes we pay.. we had better roads and infrastructure! Am grateful for the excellent medical care we have here but wish it was more affordable and available to the general population..

On Republic Day 2026, I am proud to say I am Indian but as with all things these days.. conditions apply! Let’s all vow to be more responsible citizens and caring human beings with gratitude.. kindness.. compassion and karuna towards those less fortunate!

As always, thank you so much for reading and do remember to share your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

Happy Republic Day!

 

 

HOW WAS THE FIRST DAY OF YOUR NEW YEAR? Tell me..

The 1st of January means different things to different people.. but it definitely isnt "just another day" for any of us! 

For some of us it's an opportunity to make resolutions (which we may or may not keep).. a chance to "fix" or make amends for something we messed up on earlier.. a day for new beginnings or at the very least.. it's a day that we would like to like to make special and memorable!

At this point you're probably wondering how the first day of MY new year was so let me tell you.. it was absolutely magical and one that I will cherish all through the year! Did I do something super different from my daily thing? 

Not really.. but.. I had put some serious thought into the kind of day I wanted and so.. A couple of my closest friends did a dinner and sleep over so we chatted until we were overtaken by tsunami waves of sleep!

We woke up to a nice cozy companionable chat at the table with chai.. fruit and the classic Gujarati mainstay.. khakhra! Showered and dressed in record time.. lit a lamp at the altar.. said prayers of gratitude and left for a fun brunch at my favourite restaurant Mag St. Cafe!

There were two little boys sitting at the table next to ours with their father and I was absolutely fascinated watching their interaction.. He was totally engrossed in discussing the menu with various tastes and textures with the children.. and then he demonstrated very patiently the art of wielding a fork and knife to them.. He did it perfectly.. encouraging them and praising their efforts when they managed quite well..

Having taught pre-school children for 25 years I made it a point to tell the father what a joy it was to see a completely "present and hands on" Dad doing what would usually be done by the mother! He smiled and said he absolutely loved spending time doing big and small things with his children! 

That really struck a chord with me.. we need to remember to find joy in everything we do - be it big or small and never think we are "too grown up" to see the magic around us! In these times of AI and advanced technology it was so refreshing to see father and sons enjoying the simple joy of eating together!

We are a scrumptious lunch and after that walked around the corner to Sukho Thai.. I love pampering people who are special to me so we went for a super relaxing foot massage where we all fell asleep! 

I dropped the girls home and after all the physical joys were enjoyed.. went to spend some quiet time with my guru for a little dose of spirituality and some important guidance.. She prayed and blessed me and I came away fully restored in all.. head heart and soul..

There has to be a balance in every day so I got home to do some serious tidying up and rearranging of half a cupboard which I had been procrastinating on for over a month! THAT was my achievement for the day and now feeling virtuous.. I am treating myself to soing what I love.. writing a blog!

Today was a lovely mix of spending quality time with the people I love.. practising gratitude actively.. getting divine blessings and doing what I love most! The cherry on the cake is packing my swimming bag for tomorrow.. my tattoo has healed and I now have permission to go back to my all-time favourite place.. the pool! 

Before you go to sleep tonight.. take a few minutes to reflect.. and see how many "magical moments" you had in your day.. you will probably be pleasantly surprised!

As always.. thank you so much for reading and wishing you an absolutely wonderful rewarding and fulfilling year ahead! 

Happy New Year!

P.S. Please share your name in the event that you decide to post a comment! Thank you!

DHURANDHAR.. it’s about the choices we make..

There is a movie that Bollywood has brought us called “Dhurandhar” recently.. it translates to something “intensely powerful.. and that’s exactly what this movie WAS.. intense and powerful in addition to being extremely gory violent and chock a block full of foul language..

I didn’t go in expecting a fairytale.. and was told that I should just close my eyes during the gory scenes so I went mentally prepared (or so I thought).. The movie basically traces a trail of terror attacks launched by Pakistan on India beginning with the Kandahar hijacking..

The movie started and very soon the violene started and then the gore and it just kept getting more and more intense until it got to a point where one of the heroes (?) picks up a 5 kg weight from a vegetable cart and smashes someone’s head to a bloody pulpy mess with it! That was the point at which my friend and I walked out of the theatre and came home.. it took a good twenty minutes of sitting quietly holding hands and waiting for our heartbeats to slow down and our pulses to normalize before we could affirm to ourselves that “NOW.. all is well.. all is well”..

When I spent some time reflecting on the experience.. I realized that the film disturbed me perhaps a little disproportionately (because of my close call on 26/11) but also for other reasons.. I would just like to share my reasons here and of course I would welcome other opinions as well but this is a sort of catharsis for me..

First and foremost.. I go to a movie to be entertained.. The way I see it is that we all have stress in our lives.. so why would we want to spend money and go to be frightened out of our wits and be disturbed out of our minds? My idea of entertainment is a nice “happy-clappy chick flick” that has a happy ever after ending.. or else smething truly inspirational that brings me a message..

I am truly amazed at the number of people who have loved the movie.. the special effects and cinematography may be wonderful but SO GORY.. is it possible to walk out of the theatre unmoved and unaffected when it ends? Am told on good authority that the sequel to this movie which is expected to release early next year (2026) is ten times more intense than this one.. that that is scary!

I know it’s a very “guy thing” to enjoy watching violence and action.. but who enjoys gore and bloodshed? It was shocking for me to see the absolute depths of cruelty that human beings are capable of inflicting on each other! Maybe I am too much of a “softie” but I want to know what makes us choose to watch films like these..

We are pleading stress at home.. pressure at the workplace and challenges in relationships.. shouldn’t we be watching reading and listening to things that inspire us.. enlighten us and uplift us? Somewhere along the way.. these scenes and dialogues stay in our minds and play on our minds too.. and pulling ourselves out of those feelings becomes difficult!

Life is full of choices.. and all I want to say is that I choose gratitude.. kindness.. compassion and “karuna” over anger greed violence and cruelty every time! That is my “mantra and I believe in it so strongly that I have had it tattooed on my forearm so it’s an unspoken gentle reminder every time I look at it and am reassured that “all is well”.. The choices we make are what define us as human beings.. and that’s very important food for thought..

Thank you as always for reading and do please share your name along with the comment (if you should choose to write one).. Feedback is always welcome too and once again I reiterate.. these are simply MY thoughts!

 

 

A MAGICAL DAY.. is made of this..

 A MAGICAL DAY.. is made of this..

Daydreaming is always a fun thing to do.. and it's very interesting to know what people like to daydream about.. a big house in the mountains.. getting an unexpected windfall of 1 crore rupees and wondering where to spend it.. giving to charity etc.. Basically most of us daydream about things that would bring us joy and make us happy..

I believe that daydreaming is something truly magical and perhaps we manifest much longed for and cherished hopes and wishes.. wants dreams and desires when we do this! 

Today was a wonderful day that I would love to share with you.. I am in Shimla (at the legendary and much sought after Wildflower Hall in Mashobra actually) with a dear friend from Mumbai.. 

Almost everyone who comes to Shimla definitely goes to Kasauli for one of two very lovely experiences.. either a 14 course tasting menu at the much acclaimed fine dine restaurant NAAR.. or then shopping for heavily discounted bedlinen at the equally well known and loved Kasauli Export House..

Kasauli Export House is owned by the very friendly Sahil Sood's family! Knowing my default Girl Guide nature of "Be Prepared" I had spoken with Sahil from Mumbai to let him know I was planning to visit and he said to me "You can only come to the shop on one condition.. you have to eat lunch with me! Ghar ka asli Punjabi khana aayega.. bata do aap kya khaoge!" We agreed mutually on Rajma Chawal and Aloo Parathas and that was it!

We reached the shop at 1 pm and were given the warmest welcome with glasses of the MOST DELICIOUS fresh orange juice we have ever tasted.. in true Punjabi style with a dash of the much loved ""kaala namak"! Super refreshing and just what we needed after the 3.5 hour drive from Mashobra.. 

His band of boys overwhelmed us with a seemingly endless stream of dohars bedspreads bedsheets tablecloths and whatnot! They were extremely patient and smiled laughed and joked gently with us which was such fun!

After more than an hour and a half we met Sahil's wife Nishi and their son Shaurya both of whom were charming and very nice! We were mentally finished by the time bills were made.. addresses were given and bags were weighed and filled to be dispatched by courier.. and all of this was done super efficiently and quickly!

We were then escorted to a very small and clean restaurant for lunch and washed our hands in what felt like literally liquid ice water from the tap! Hey presto! almost like a magician.. Nishi and Sahil both served us hot Aloo Parathas with piping hot Rajma Chawal.. Boondi Raita.. homemade Mirchi ka Achaar and a scrumptious secret recipe Onion Salad with a farm fresh salad of white radish beetroot and tomatoes! Dessert was a decadent Chocolate Brownie with Vanilla Ice Cream.. of which 2 portions were shared between the 5 of us!

There was warm cozy chatter at the table.. lots of smiles and laughter and sharing of stories.. absolutely family vibes! What made it even more special was that I have met Sahil only ONCE in my life before today and he and his family were so warm  hospitable and loving! Tell me honestly.. who DOES this?? 

We came away overwhelmed with gratitude for the warmth and simple joy we had experienced! People have no time for their own friends and families these days and to take so much trouble for just a customer.. all I can say is that both of us felt very lucky and completely blessed!

We had a very nice drive from Mashobra to Kasauli and back with a very patient driver called Kishan in a super comfy Innova Crysta and even the Shimla traffic wasn't a dampener on our wonderful spirits! 

What I'm wanting to say is that there are magical moments that fill our days.. and if we stop day dreaming and see them.. acknowledge them and are grateful for what they are.. life will be magical and our day dreams will come true too!

Sahil Nishi and Shaurya.. thank you so much for being the magical blessings of today and wishing you the very best for your hotel.. can't wait to come and stay jaldi-jaldi! Always stay the warm generous and caring family you are today! ❤�

ARE WE STILL CAPABLE OF FEELING.. genuine emotions?

 Today has been a day of very mixed emotions for me.. and the rollercoaster really set me thinking.. There was the good.. the not so good.. the comfortable and the awkward.. the touchingly beautiful and the absolutely heartbreaking.. It reminded me of what my (brevet) niece who was studying medicine in Belgaum used to tell me – they could get sunny windy rainy misty warm and cold weather.. all in the same day sometimes!

All these feelings happening pretty much one after the other.. kinda of throws you off balance right? You bet! But what choice do we really have? We just get through the day the best we can.. and think we have shown sympathy empathy kindness compassion and whatever else the situation may have “called for”.. but have we done that? Have we actually been able to do that?

The day began and I received a beautiful warm and loving message from a dear friend who calls herself “emotionally challenged”.. she just wanted to thank me for always “being there and being a one-woman rehab spot”! To be honest.. I was overwhelmed and speechless.. and that’s very rare for me.. most of the time I have plenty to say!

Spent a fun morning at the club in the pool with my friends.. lots of banter and joking and such amazing camaraderie that I actually said a little prayer of gratitude right then and there! To meet almost the same bunch of people five days a week who are always joking smiling and laughing is like a “daily dose” of positivity.. and I am so lucky to get it without even having to ask! Whatever my mood may be when I reach the pool.. I know I will always come away smiling and feeling genuinely blessed..

This afternoon went for a condolence visit and this is something that always makes me (and a number of people) feel extremely awkward.. One is aware and somewhere obliged to maintain a serious and sombre demeanor.. and that isn’t always the easiest thing for me.. To me, death is something that reminds me of the impermanence and fragility of life and teaches me what the deepest level of acceptance really is.. If the person has passed away at a ripe old age, I believe that rather than mourn their death, we should celebrate their life! Am sure that there were people in the family who must have been devastated.. but life has made us very “matter of fact” about it and it has become almost like something we just take in our stride..

Having eaten a very sketchy lunch I was starving by the evening and my favourite roadside sandwichwalla said it would be a 20 minute wait so I went in search of something “nice” to eat.. Called one of my best friends and she promised (and came through too!!) something yummy which were scrumptious “dal ki tikki” and baked spring rolls! Greedy me and generous her.. she is always happy to feed people and also the only friend who I call “hakk se” and say I’m hungry please feed me.. and land up uninvited and so shamelessly! Wouldn’t you call her a blessing? I certainly DO!!

Got home after a super long and tiring day.. and my phone beeped.. it was one of my closest friends (and someone I love dearly).. He sent an emotional voice message telling me he had lost his favourite uncle in Pune.. his voice broke a couple of times and especially in his subsequent messages where it got overwhelming for him.. Finally we spoke with each other and I told him to be grateful that he still HAS the capacity to FEEL so deeply!

There are frequent times and occasions when I think we have become like automatons.. we don’t feel and even if we do.. we don’t show it.. Why are we so “backward about coming forward” and showing our true emotions? Are we scared of being judged or mocked.. or worried that if we show we are vulnerable, people will take advantage?

It’s time to get back in touch with your REAL side.. your AUTHENTIC self.. so feel it like you feel it.. say it like you feel it.. and show it like you feel it! You owe this much honesty to the people who matter most to you so stop trying to be the “Superman” or “Superwoman” all the time! Confession being good for the soul.. I feel very awkward accepting gratitude praise and compliments.. but am learning to do so with some amount of grace!

Please take some time to identify what is holding you back from being “real”.. accept it.. and work on it! We are all “works in progress” but what a wonderful world it would be if we were brave enough to be completely REAL!

THE ART OF RELAXING.. am learning it now!

 We are all different people.. with deifferent personalities.. different moods and different perceptions.. and that is what makes life so interesting!

Confession being good for the soul I must admit to being a hyper personality.. always living life in slightly "fast forward" mode and constantly planning ahead to try and make it all as perfect and seamless as possible!

Guess what? Realization dawned that living like this isn't necessarily the best way to be.. because by focusing on the next moment I'm not enjoying the present moment fully.. and that is a mini tragedy in itself.. 

Life being as unpredictable as it is these days.. moments of joy and happiness are fleeting and ephemeral.. and must be grabbed and held on to for the short time that we have them!

A very dear friend has been telling me for the longest time how it's super important to relax.. slow down and "learn to chill" and "just be".. I agreed in principle but never really put it in practice until he and his family (lovely wife and two wonderful children) brought me to the most gorgeous resort and spa for a three day staycation.. 

I was gently but firmly told to now learn the "art of being" instead of my default "art of doing" to which I vowed to try my best! One would imagine that to relax would be the easiest thing in the world right? Not for me..  

I had to tell myself that it was OKAY not to be doing something all the time.. or planning something all the time.. or talking to someone or making plans to meet or work on my "to do" list and stop being a slave to the clock! 

I became an honorary member of their family for these three days and have done absolutely nothing.. Have learned the art of relaxing and must say I find it very enjoyable! The highlights of this holiday have been the gentle teasing.. the deep discussions.. the sharing and caring.. the freely shared laughter and love that are such an integral part of family life and for these I am grateful from the depths of my soul..

This is the first time anyone has ever taken me away for a holiday and it has been a time I will cherish for always! Because all of them are so private I won't name any names but everlasting and etwrnal gratitude to all four of you PKT and N for adopting me as family.. Lots of love and God bless always!

I return to Mumbai wrapped in an invisible cloak of pampering acceptance love and warmth! It's not the amount of money that has been spent.. the room to suite upgrade.. the exceptional service and delicious food that made it special and an experience to be cherished.. it is the intention with which this invitation was given.. and the joy with which it was received.. One short life to live and what matters more than sharing time receiving and giving love? 

Gifting someone an opportunity and relax is much more than relaxation.. it is also a chance for rejuvenation refreshment rewiring resetting and realignment..

Overwhelming gratitude to you my soul family.. am truly blessed way beyond what mere words can even begin to express.. Who thinks so much and does so much in today's day and age?! God bless all of you and much love always!

Thank you as always for reading and do please remember to share your name at the beginning or end of your comment!

HEARTBREAKING & “HEARTMAKING” at the same time!!

Life throws all kinds of situations and experiences at us all the time.. and we are left with no option but to respond.. Most of the time it’s good stuff like a promotion at work.. maybe a financial windfall.. meeting a special person.. eating a surprisingly delicious meal at a new restaurant etc..

On the other side there is sometimes a plethora of stress with situations like major health problems.. death of a loved one.. financial losses in business or investments.. betrayal by a loved one.. emergency hospitalizations etc.. and so many other situations that I’m not mentioning here..

Am sharing something incredibly stressful that happened to me earlier this week (although sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago).. I was at my house in Lonavala having a super fun relaxed weekend with a few close friends and recovering from a rocking Diwali party.. Had gone to Poona to meet a dear friend and her family who were celebrating a birthday to which I was especially invited..

It was a lovely day but quite tiring and since I had skipped my afternoon siesta, I got into bed on Saturday night looking forward to a nice peaceful night.. Be careful what you wish for.. the fates had something completely to the contrary in store for me that night!

There was a knock at the door (which I slept through) and then my friend insistently waking me up saying there was an emergency! My driver came up with his mobile and Man Friday (Kishore to most of you) telling me calmly but urgently (don’t know how he did that) that Girl Friday (Savita) was throwing up blood and couldn’t breathe and what should he do?! We agreed that he should take her to Bombay Hospital (because it was the closest) Emergency and that I would ask someone to meet him there!

My family doctor (incidentally also best friend) them absolute gem that he is.. rushed there immediately and my driver-cum-right-hand Dinesh and I left for Mumbai at 2 AM.. The drive was harrowing to say the least because everything on the road except us was (seemingly) either a container truck or tanker.. We had to drive slow to make sure that the patient count remained at just one!

Doc spoke with me at least eleven times during that 1 hour 45 minute ride to ask for personal details of Savita.. choice of room and so on.. When someone has been a part of your family and lived with you for 35 years it’s a no-brainer right? I just said it had to be the best room.. the best doctor and the best medical care that money could possibly buy!

Reached the hospital at 3:45 am and crept quietly into the ICU to see her wide awake but exhausted.. on oxygen.. the monitors pipes and tubes completely dwarfing her fairly small being,, She apologized for causing me so much trouble and I told her she would be fine.. sat with her for a while and came back home to get some rest..

I went back in a couple of hours and met the treating specialist Dr. Avya Bansal.. an outstanding pulmonologist and more importantly.. a wonderful human being! He very patiently explained the situation to me in great detail illustrating it with a simple drawing! He was also kind enough to speak with my doctor and explain the situation to him as well.. Which specialist gives you this much time anymore?

We have been truly blessed to have Dr. Bansal looking after her.. his bedside manner is exemplary and he is a very positive and reassuring presence. He is both approachable and immediately responsive.. and it’s such a blessing to meet a doctor who genuinely CARES about his patients! God bless him, Dr. Vishwesh and his team!

Savita spent two days in the ICU and was beautifully looked after and shifted to a private room yesterday (can’t risk any cross infections)! She was grouchy and that irritated me and I was walking around looking (and feeling) like a thundercloud but a long talk with my bestie made me realize that I should calm down.. and I did..

She was nice and cheerful this morning and not grumbling about anything and that gave me the 180 degree turnaround in my mood that I needed as well.. Learning how to stay calm is the most important super power we all need! I went to the pool for a swim (after three days) and felt normal which was such a lovely feeling!

When I say “heartbreaking and heartmaking” I refer to two people.. Savita who was seriously unwell (possibly critical) which was heartbreaking (she’s my little sister) who is now making excellent progress which is heartmaking! My rock star Kishore said something very special to me a short while ago which I would like to share..

He came to my room (ostensibly to make the bed) and said in a very conversational tone“Do you know.. when I go to the village and meet my family, I feel like I am a guest and count the days until I come back HOME and to my FAMILY.. and that is here and you! For all that you do for us (even though we all get cranky sometimes!) and for being such a blessing in our lives (and I am saying this for both of us) I thank you from my heart and know that I am very fortunate to have gotten to work in this house and for your parents and you! Aap ko tahe dil se bahut bahut shukriya!

If that isn’t “heartmaking” tell me what is!! I am blessed and grateful for every joy great and small.. and always will be! Thank you all for your prayers and support for Savita.. it means much more to me than words can express! All going well.. she ought to be home on Saturday!

God is truly great and may His hand always remain on the heads of all those I love especially!

Thank you as always for reading and please add your name at the beginning or end of the comment (should you choose to write one)!!