MAKE IT A HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.. you can and must!!

 The 14th of February.. at any age and any stage.. this date awakens feelings and smiles in us that have been (sometimes) dormant for a very long time! Second only to my birthday, this is absolutely my favourite day in the year.. reason being that it's an opportunity to spread love and sunshine! If we are open to it, this day helps us to evolve into a better human being and also to appreciate the efforts and existence of those who are always "there" for us - to support love care for and understand us.. no matter what!

The person we reach out to doesn't need to be our girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other or even spouse.. it can be anyone from our family or friends.. because it is a day to celebrate love respect and affection.. At a spiritual level, this day gives multiple opportunities to inculcate empathy, charity and kindness towards others.. we just need to be aware and do the needful without wasting the opportunity!

Growing up in the USA as a little girl has been a blessing in more ways than one - firstly, I learned to THINK in English without the difficulty that most children from a bilingual or multilingual house face.. thinking in another language and then mentally translating AND looking for the specific words in English and then SAYING it! Secondly (and more importantly I think) it was a joy growing up in a small village where feelings of love affection and friendship were expressed very openly and without any "politically correct" filters!  

My Dad was never a really expressive person verbally.. but he evolved into the "perfect" Dad for me because he did what all the other kids expected from their Daddies.. However awkward he may have felt about it, he submitted to near-strangling hugs at school pick-up and drop-off time.. at good morning and good night times.. AND even learned to hug me back! He came to every school meeting and concert and applauded my efforts enthusiastically (even if my role was the modest one of a bumblebee in a garden)! My Mom.. she was even less expressive and thought saying "I love you" was silly and completely unnecessary.. thankfully she used to say "I love you" to my Dad so that was good!

Indian fathers (brothers, husbands and men generally) in the early 70's (and a number of them even now) found it very difficult to say those three little words "I love you" and my Dad was guilty of this too.. I, of course didn't give him a choice and it was literally "baptism by fire" and would DEMAND that he said "I love you too" whenever I said "I love you" to him.. so the poor man indulged his princess and actually started saying it on his own as time went by! Not that I feel guilty in the least for making him learn to say "I love you".. it's SO important!

In a world full of highly learned cultured and erudite people with excellent vocabularies, it amazes me (not in a good way) that so many people are so "backward about coming forward" when it comes to saying "I love you"! They either don't say it.. or else they make do with an offhand (and totally inadequate) "Love you" which is NOT what they WANT to say! Saying "love you" in my opinion.. is like saying you love pizza parasailing chocolate etc.! We love the people we love because they have certain qualities that complement ours.. complete us.. and keep us secure and happy! Isn't that alone good reason to express our feelings?

Psychologists counsellors and mental health experts are constantly surrounded by people who are unhappy maladjusted and seeking "closure".. who are then taught and trained to "verbalize" their thoughts and feelings which will ultimately help them be at peace.. Obviously there are accompanying factors that make the situation even more challenging, but I am a big advocate of expressing my feelings in words.. some people say they can't.. but that's usually nothing more than a lack of effort! The visitor's book at my home in Lonavala bears mute testimony to this.. some pages have a line or two while others are completely filled! 

Considering the levels of stress that most people live with on a day to day basis.. my suggestion is.. just as yoga is good for your mind and body.. simply learning to say "I love you" and celebrating the people you love (with or without chocolate flowers or presents) will transform every day into Valentine's Day! Hearing those words generates the "happy hormones" endorphins serotonin dopamine and oxytocin and creates a magical feeling of euphoria.. so.. What are you waiting for? Tell the people who enrich beautify enhance and make your life better that you LOVE them.. today!!

Lastly, in the words of Paulo Coelho.. 

"When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."

Hearing those three little words words generates the "happy hormones" endorphins serotonin dopamine and oxytocin and creates a magical feeling of euphoria.. SO.. What are you waiting for? Tell the people who enrich beautify enhance and make your life better happier and more comfortable that you LOVE them.. today!!