WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE.. physicality or anything?

 In a madly busy world that has really fast changing lifestyles.. fashion trends.. technological advances.. medical breakthroughs.. what a pity it is that we as human beings aren’t evolving growing or learning certain things..

People have all kinds of addictions.. smoking.. drinking.. drugs.. gambling.. shopping.. gaming.. the list is lengthy and I could go on and on.. There is help available for a number of addictions.. rehabilitation.. counselling.. psychotherapy.. alternative therapies.. meditation and so on..

Sadly there is one addiction that a number of people have.. and they are compulsively driven to becoming slaves to it all the time! It is the habit of JUDGING.. passing comments.. making personal remarks (often masking it as concern.. which it definitely isn’t).. and very often it happens without even knowing the facts!

For instance.. we live in a society where looks are of prime importance.. and that means we have to have the perfect figure.. a toned body.. wear designer clothes and shoes.. The latest mobile phone and a GOOD watch are essential.. and living at a fancy address is the icing on the cake! Knowing and hobnobbing with the “rich and famous” is considered desirable (does the glamour rub off I wonder)?!

When we are at the gym and someone heavy walks in.. there is an immediate tendency to think “Oh God! She’s going to have to work out like a maniac and it probably won’t show until she loses at least 20 kgs!” We meet someone we know after a long time and their first reaction is “I almost didn’t recognize you.. how come you’ve put on so much weight.. or.. you’ve lost a lot of hair.. or your skin never used to be like this.. Aren’t you doing anything about it?” etc..

Are we PERFECT with regard to weight.. figure.. complexion.. clothes.. footwear and everything else? Do we KNOW anyone’s story to be in a position to judge? That heavy girl might have delivered a baby sometime ago.. maybe she’s been through a clinical depression.. hair loss can happen thanks to chemotherapy and so many other reasons.. skin can be affected severely by stress..

If we had two children and one was fat and the other thin.. would we love the thin one more? Don’t people who are overweight KNOW that they need to lose weight? Do they need comments that are both insensitive and unkind? A number of overweight people are ashamed of their bodies and self-conscious about getting their pictures taken.. out of fear of the negative and nasty comments that will invariably follow.. because someone will always say SOMETHING! And then there are the (ostensibly well meaning) who will jump right in with unsolicited advice!

WHAT gives us the right to jump in and recommend diets..exercise plans.. gyms.. nutritionists.. miracle oils.. hair loss clinics.. specialists.. or anything? WHY can’t we just accept the person for what they ARE on the inside and not for the way they look? Are we SO shallow? Do wives husbands girlfriends boyfriends and partners leave their significant others when Alopecia sets in?

Why are we so quick to use labels like “Fatty.. Taklu.. Moti.. Lallu.. Buddhu.. Fattu.. etc..” for others and SO offended when someone uses them on us? Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you.. EVERYONE is going through their own struggles and NOBODY needs negative and judgemental remarks!

Whatever happened to “If you can’t say something nice.. don’t say anything?” You don’t have to indulge in flattery but you can always make a sincere comment like “Your smile lights up your own face” or “You are such an incredibly helpful person” or “Your thoughtfulness is touching”..

Let’s make a resolution NOT to judge ANYONE.. not on their physicality.. mental faculties.. physical strength.. emotional resilience.. or anything else for that matter! It is hurtful and insensitive to the other person.. and doesn’t reflect well on you either!

Look with eyes of kindness.. listen with ears of grace.. appreciate the visible.. be grateful for the intangible.. accept and love unconditionally.. and be the nicest person you can possibly be.. those are the kind of people our world needs more of! God bless you all and thank you for reading!

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