WHY WE MUST CELEBRATE THE LAST DAY OF THE YEAR.. today and always!

 The last day of the year is a special day.. perhaps even more special than the first.. and you’re probably wondering why I say this..

All of us are in different moods and doing different things right now.. some are preparing to entertain friends and family.. some are catering for other people’s parties.. some are at the salon getting prettified for a night of revelry and fun.. while some are getting things ready for tomorrow thinking that 31^st December isn’t a big deal at all..

The truth of the matter is that today IS a big deal.. but whether or not you choose to perceive it as such is entirely up to you.. In a sense.. with the busy lives that we all lead.. 365 days is almost an era in itself - the year has been full of a variety of experiences for us all.. relationships.. friendships.. achievements at work.. heartbreak.. heartache.. health related challenges and so on..

Amidst all the excitement and ups and downs of the year that has passed.. today is a blessing.. to reflect.. realize and acknowledge that you faced the challenges.. chose your battles and fought them.. reached out to others.. gave a helping hand where it was needed.. did some introspection and made it through the year relatively unscathed..

Nobody has it easy.. we all have our own struggles.. some that are physical and obvious.. and others that are less so.. We try our best to cope.. we reach out to ask for help sometimes.. we suffer in silence sometimes.. and maybe.. we finally begin to understand that the the greatest help comes from our own hearts and souls..

Whenever we look back.. it’s very normal to have made mistakes and to have regrets and wish that we had done things differently perhaps.. mistakes are just stepping stones to learning.. and regrets belong in the past.. don’t carry them along with you into the new year! Try and look back and take stock of the year that has passed in terms of the lessons you learned.. the people that entered and exited your life and why.. what were your happiest times.. and when and where did you witness the greatest amount of personal growth taking place?

Stand tall.. smile at the mirror and be proud of yourself.. you lived 2023 and came out a winner! Celebrate all the beautiful memories tonight and create new ones that you will think of happily on this day next year! Bid a joyful adieu to 2023 and prepare to welcome 2024 with peace in your hearts!

Happy New Year’s Eve to you!!

As always.. thank you so much for reading!!

DON’T EVER TAKE ANYONE FOR GRANTED.. 26/11.. a life lesson!

 26/11.. just reading the date sends chills down my spine today.. even though it’s 15 years after it happened! I’m talking about the ghastly and gory terror attack in Mumbai on 26^th November 2008.. The night when so many were mercilessly shot dead and ruthlessly killed.. it brought home to me the fact that human life is so fragile and easily destroyed.. gone in the blink of an eye!

A number of you know the story so am not going to repeat it here.. but I will make a few important references.. We talk about the cycle of birth and rebirth.. 26/11 was in a sense, a rebirth for me! At the ripe old age of 45 years, I was unsuspectingly trapped in an (almost hostage) situation not at all of my making! No complaints here.. but a great deal of learning and some major realizations were my takeaway from the most frightening experience of my life..

Looking back, I truly marvel at..

the presence of mind.. of my oldest friend Varsha who amidst a barrage of bullets remembered to grab her mobile and mine along with our handbags..

the kindness of strangers.. the man who took us into his office and kept us there for the first hour of the shooting..

the two young men.. Saif and Brian who ran the PCO ISD STD store who literally picked us up and dragged us to the safety of their little room upstairs to shelter us..

their thoughtfulness at bringing us bottled water and soft drinks (on a very limited budget) and sincere attempt to bring us some food (although nothing was available)..

the care and concern of friends and family.. who texted and called all night to check up on where I was and whether I was safe or in some kind of danger..

the unconditional love and bravery of my father.. who at the age of 76 called and insisted on coming to fetch us with little or no regard as to the accompanying danger.. (and was subsequently dissuaded with great difficulty)

the incredible kindness and daring.. of my friend Senu and his wife Shami who came to pick us up very early in the morning and drop us home.. luckily just before the curfew was clamped on Colaba..

the unexpected thoughtfulness.. of Saif and Brian who took my number and asked me to please call and let them know we were home and safe..

the grace of the owner of Café Leopold.. who picked up and kept my car keys safely until I could pick them up..

and last but definitely not the least.. my trusty super dependable Nokia N73 (affectionately referred to as the “hathoda phone”) whose amazing battery survived calls and texts all through that night of terror!

Hearing gunshots and grenades going off at the Taj (we were right behind it).. seeing a terrorist running through the lane towards the Taj.. being glued to the TV news for 48 hours straight once I got home safely.. thanking God that I wasn’t just another number in the dead or missing list.. and going through immense “survivor guilt” brought home to me just HOW important it is NEVER to take anything or anyone for granted IN LIFE! As my grandmother (wise woman) used to say “Koi divas ek chapti dhool ni pan garaj padi shake” (some day you may just need even a pinch of dust)..

Since that fateful day and forevermore I try my best to hold that lesson and realization true and abide by what I have written.. There is gratitude from the minute I wake up which filters through the day for all my blessings.. be they people places or things!

A number of people have asked me why I go out of my way and am (by their standards perhaps) excessively generous kind and helpful.. well.. now you KNOW!! The answer in three simple little words is “because I can” and it is always a good thing to “pay it forward” as we go through life!

Thank you so much for reading.. and do please remember to post your name if you write a comment!

Be safe.. thankful and blessed.. today and always!!

 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING.. and thank you very much!

The first Thanksgiving was celebrated by the Pilgrims after their first harvest in the “New World” in November 1621. It is celebrated wholeheartedly in the United States of America and even more important than the 4^th of July or even Christmas because it is a time when families reunite, express gratitude for one another, and feel closer to one another than at any other time.

Festivals and holidays have now become largely universal and we in Mumbai even celebrated Halloween this year! Christmas and New Year’s Eve are a favourite time of merriment and Valentine’s Day is a close second. Holi, Diwali, Janmashtami and Ganesh Chaturthi are celebrated with great pomp and fanfare.. so I am wondering.. why don’t we celebrate Thanksgiving as well?

All the new age gurus.. life coaches and religious leaders talk a great deal about how important gratitude is.. how important it is to remember to say thank you.. and how important it is to count our blessings.. Indians are not traditionally brought up to express thanks formally although in the Western world, it is customary (and expected) to say thank you for something as basic as a glass of water.. and this is the reason we are often considered to be ill-mannered and rude to people from other countries.

Just to play devil’s advocate here, I will say that we are, on the other hand brought up to show respect to elders and to convey gratitude through gestures such as a “namaste” with a smile and more recently.. through text messages, hugs and “high fives”.. all of which are acceptable but a number of Indian families and elders in particular neither encourage or approve of excessive ebullience in expression of feelings! Not saying “thank you” for every little thing does not make us rude.. just as saying “thank you” mechanically without really meaning it does not make us polite! We need to find the happy middle path here somehow ..

It’s highly unlikely that Thanksgiving will ever be actively and specifically be celebrated as a festival in Mumbai, but what’s stopping us from counting our blessings and being thankful for the many that we have? EVERYDAY should be Thanksgiving and we need to be grateful for parents.. friends.. family.. food.. fun.. support staff.. vendors.. caregivers.. teachers.. garbage collectors.. community workers.. our Army Navy and Air Force.. and everyone who makes our lives happier, safer, easier and more comfortable!

There are so many ways to convey our thanks and gratitude.. a simple thank you.. a hug.. a card.. a text message.. cooking a meal.. taking someone out.. making or buying a gift or an experience.. spending time.. being a patient listener.. being a 3 a.m. friend.. giving money.. doing hospital duty or even something as simple but powerful as praying for someone! It is important that there is an “exchange of energy” in any situation that makes us thankful.. make sure to let the person know that you value their presence or assistance..

Living alone since losing Daddy, the importance of being thankful has assumed gigantic proportions in my life! I consider myself to be supremely blessed and am so grateful to have good health.. friends that are more than family.. a comfortable home.. food on the table.. devoted staff.. and so very much more.. We are all blessed with abundance and what we have is so much more than what we don’t.. so let us all pledge to give thanks for everything and reach out to those less fortunate with time.. money.. understanding.. acceptance and whatever it takes to make them thankful too! 

I spent a magical evening celebrating Thanksgiving with two of my dearest friends and we've decided to make a it a tradition from now on.. and that is the inspiration for this blog! To all those of you who are "there" for me in good times and bad.. support me through thick and thin.. celebrate and commiserate when the times call for it.. all I can say is THANK YOU and..

May all the days of your life be days of “thanks giving” in the truest sense.. and..

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!!

Thank you for reading!

Do please type your names at the end of the comments!

WISHING YOU A HAPPY DIWALI.. the festival of light..

 It’s that time of the year again.. the festive time with Dhan Teras.. Diwali and “Bestu Varas” (Hindu New Year according to the samvat calendar).. Diwali is a favourite festival with lots to celebrate.. fancy clothes.. scrumptious snacks.. traditional food.. (almost) mandatory pujas and rituals.. traditional food.. exotic fireworks.. vibrant rangoli.. elaborate flower arrangements and of course.. pretty diyas burning brightly everywhere around us!

As little children, the best part about Diwali was the long vacation we had from school! Lots of playtime with friends.. presents and money from family and relatives.. and best of all.. NO homework! Listening to the story of Ram Sita Lakshman and Raavan narrated by our grandparents and parents.. and always with a little homily at the end.. with a gentle reminder about how we should always be “good”.. tell the truth and so on..

Growing up only added temptations like getting to go shopping and choose our own clothes as well as participate in the menu planning etc.. Being youthful around Diwali started with a few responsibilities.. running simple errands.. being entrusted with money and being held accountable for spending.. and supervising safety while the children were bursting crackers!

Adulthood and Diwali was a learning experience at so many levels.. gratitude and appreciation to the “people who help us” with monetary and other tokens.. understanding the importance of a household budget and how to manage it at festival time.. spending quality time with family and giving thanks to the Almighty for our abundance and seeking His blessings.. being blessed with stories advice and gifts from our elders and wise people.. practicing gratitude and getting sensitized to the fact that there were so many less fortunate than us.. the importance of being content with what we had.. understanding family dynamics etc..

My father had this disconcerting habit of often asking me “How do you feel eating this mithai or bursting these crackers or what are you going to spend your Diwali money on or why is Diwali your favourite festival?” and over a length of time I understood that these were important questions! It was a real thinking process before I answered.. because these questions were not idle ones.. and deserved honest answers not frivolous ones..

When I thought about it I realized that it is a festival of lights.. lights that paved the way for Ram Sita and Lakshman to return home safely.. and celebrated the victory of light over darkness! I choose to reinterpret it slightly as “returning home as feeling safe enough to be completely yourself”.. because sometimes we get so caught up in the glitz & glamour that we go astray for a while.. but when the “spark” of the divine inner light appears.. we “reset” ourselves and become our authentic selves once more..

At every age and stage we are faced with the choice of being with the light (and doing what is right).. or going over to the dark side.. and giving in to temptation wrongdoing etc.. It takes a great deal of strength and courage to choose to celebrate “walking in the light” but the more consistently you do it.. the easier it becomes! And beset by distractions and temptations you ask “How do I do this?”

“You have to find what sparks a light in you so that you in your own way can illuminate the world” are wise words given to us by Oprah Winfrey. It’s important to make sure the spark is the RIGHT kind of spark.. not the “cheeky bright spark” or the “igniting spark” but the bright kind of “internal heart and soul spark” that extends itself and magically transforms into a “sparkle” in the eyes!

Celebrate Diwali every day by “doing what you love and loving what you do”.. by sharing the joy.. sharing the music.. spreading the sunshine.. being inspired.. aware of and sensitive to the world around you.. and most of all.. by being the light that reflects your inner radiance!

Wishing you a wonderfully happy Diwali and festive season!

 

WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE.. physicality or anything?

 In a madly busy world that has really fast changing lifestyles.. fashion trends.. technological advances.. medical breakthroughs.. what a pity it is that we as human beings aren’t evolving growing or learning certain things..

People have all kinds of addictions.. smoking.. drinking.. drugs.. gambling.. shopping.. gaming.. the list is lengthy and I could go on and on.. There is help available for a number of addictions.. rehabilitation.. counselling.. psychotherapy.. alternative therapies.. meditation and so on..

Sadly there is one addiction that a number of people have.. and they are compulsively driven to becoming slaves to it all the time! It is the habit of JUDGING.. passing comments.. making personal remarks (often masking it as concern.. which it definitely isn’t).. and very often it happens without even knowing the facts!

For instance.. we live in a society where looks are of prime importance.. and that means we have to have the perfect figure.. a toned body.. wear designer clothes and shoes.. The latest mobile phone and a GOOD watch are essential.. and living at a fancy address is the icing on the cake! Knowing and hobnobbing with the “rich and famous” is considered desirable (does the glamour rub off I wonder)?!

When we are at the gym and someone heavy walks in.. there is an immediate tendency to think “Oh God! She’s going to have to work out like a maniac and it probably won’t show until she loses at least 20 kgs!” We meet someone we know after a long time and their first reaction is “I almost didn’t recognize you.. how come you’ve put on so much weight.. or.. you’ve lost a lot of hair.. or your skin never used to be like this.. Aren’t you doing anything about it?” etc..

Are we PERFECT with regard to weight.. figure.. complexion.. clothes.. footwear and everything else? Do we KNOW anyone’s story to be in a position to judge? That heavy girl might have delivered a baby sometime ago.. maybe she’s been through a clinical depression.. hair loss can happen thanks to chemotherapy and so many other reasons.. skin can be affected severely by stress..

If we had two children and one was fat and the other thin.. would we love the thin one more? Don’t people who are overweight KNOW that they need to lose weight? Do they need comments that are both insensitive and unkind? A number of overweight people are ashamed of their bodies and self-conscious about getting their pictures taken.. out of fear of the negative and nasty comments that will invariably follow.. because someone will always say SOMETHING! And then there are the (ostensibly well meaning) who will jump right in with unsolicited advice!

WHAT gives us the right to jump in and recommend diets..exercise plans.. gyms.. nutritionists.. miracle oils.. hair loss clinics.. specialists.. or anything? WHY can’t we just accept the person for what they ARE on the inside and not for the way they look? Are we SO shallow? Do wives husbands girlfriends boyfriends and partners leave their significant others when Alopecia sets in?

Why are we so quick to use labels like “Fatty.. Taklu.. Moti.. Lallu.. Buddhu.. Fattu.. etc..” for others and SO offended when someone uses them on us? Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you.. EVERYONE is going through their own struggles and NOBODY needs negative and judgemental remarks!

Whatever happened to “If you can’t say something nice.. don’t say anything?” You don’t have to indulge in flattery but you can always make a sincere comment like “Your smile lights up your own face” or “You are such an incredibly helpful person” or “Your thoughtfulness is touching”..

Let’s make a resolution NOT to judge ANYONE.. not on their physicality.. mental faculties.. physical strength.. emotional resilience.. or anything else for that matter! It is hurtful and insensitive to the other person.. and doesn’t reflect well on you either!

Look with eyes of kindness.. listen with ears of grace.. appreciate the visible.. be grateful for the intangible.. accept and love unconditionally.. and be the nicest person you can possibly be.. those are the kind of people our world needs more of! God bless you all and thank you for reading!

P.S. As always. please share your name if you decide to post a comment!

Travelling from FOMO to JOMO.. what a journey!

“Is that a strange title or what” you’re probably frowning and wondering if I’ve lost my mind.. or my writing skills.. or perhaps both! It isn’t at all what you’re thinking.. just that I’ve used the “jargon” of today’s youth!

The advent of mobile phones heralded the revival of the almost forgotten art of “typing” (now referred to as texting)! Some credit must of course also go to Amitabh Bachchan who started every new round of Kaun Banega Crorepati with a round of something called “Fastest Finger First”! While getting accustomed to navigating a touchscreen we also exercised our fingers considerably..

While those of us who are admittedly “old school fuddy-duddies” still typed in the Queen’s English.. the youth found it extremely boring and tedious to do so and they came up with a whole new language.. the language/jargon of “shorts” or short forms such as a simple BRB for Be Right Back.. TTYL for Talk To You Later and YOLO which was weirdly You Only Live Once (obvious right?) after which it evolved to abbreviations that were not as obvious including the abovementioned and totally befuddling FOMO and JOMO!

Confession being good for the soul.. it must be said that I have never been a particularly avid fan of these abbreviations and have rarely.. if ever used them! However, at the ripe and nicely matured age of 60 when I look back at my journey these abbreviations sum up exactly what I was then to what I am now so beautifully and perfectly!

FOMO is to be interpreted as Fear Of Missing Out.. When I was a little girl I was one of those who always wanted (and needed) to be included.. who actually cried when I wasn’t invited to someone’s party and became a people pleaser very early so that I wouldn’t be left out! It was VERY important that I had the magnetic pencil box.. the fanciest cake on my birthday.. and the pretty dress from Beatrix Tailors – just like all the other girls in my class who “belonged”!

As I grew up it was a given that I would be a total conformist because under no circumstances did I want to be excluded! I wore what everyone else was wearing (even though I didn’t like it).. listened to the music that was considered “cool and happening” (even though I couldn’t always understand the lyrics”.. and really didn’t have a mind of my own.. or an opinion.. or a voice.. Sadly I was always the one who said “Me too please” all the time!

Fortunately my Dad was a really intelligent man and extremely “tuned in” to me and he saw what I was becoming.. didn’t like it and set about changing it at the soonest! He would make it a point to discuss books with me.. as my opinion.. ask me to think of creative solutions to simple problems.. and be generous with both praise as well as criticism..

He was solitary by nature and led by example so I got addicted to reading at a very early age and I made the joyous discovery that you could never be lonely with a book in your hands! My love for reading along with my love for making new friends and talking to people slowly obliterated and ultimately extinguished the default setting of FOMO..

Time went by.. I grew up.. got busy with education and career.. nursing both my parents (one at a time) and finally Covid struck! I went from being an incredibly social person to becoming compulsorily isolated! Daddy had passed away so I was stuck in the house with just my trusty helpers for company.. not the happiest situation for me..

Fortunately I was among the younger people in the building and volunteered to take charge and coordinate the purchases and deliveries of groceries provisions essentials treats and luxuries for my building and three more besides! It also gave me the opportunity to interact with people on a more or less regular basis.. which was almost oxygen for me!

The only visitors allowed in the building were doctors and that’s when my lifepath started changing.. my family doctor (who’s also one of my closest friends) used to drop in and we’d spend time discussing life.. love and everything in between.. He recommended a few simple books about personal growth and spiritualiy.. and I lapped it all up like a lost traveller in the desert at an oasis!

I was truly fortunate to learn so much from him and he was very generous with his insights.. and later on super blessed to meet someone exceptional who opened my eyes to perceive the world and people around me with eyes of compassion wisdom and discernment..

My thought process changed.. self-discovery became top priority.. enhancing my quality of like at a spiritual level was essential.. and the path of personal growth beckoned too invitingly to resist! Not that I “gave up” on regular fun things but was only too happy to stay home and read.. writing my “morning magic” messages.. listening to music and just spending time with myself!

Now when friends are travelling.. going to a movie.. drinking and partying.. going to a new restaurant.. once in a while I’m happy to go along.. but am truly at peace staying at home.. tidying up and restoring order to chaos.. My overriding sense of FOMO has now become a sense of JOMO.. also known as Joy Of Missing Out and I simply couldn’t be happier!

Travelling from FOMO to JOMO has been a phenomenal journey.. and I can only wish all of you to experience this joy for yourselves!

A small request.. if you write a comment please type your name! Blogspot isn’t the kindest in this matter! As always, thank you for reading!

 

 

 

 

KEEPING IN TOUCH.. is so important today!

We are all blessed to have and to have had some wonderful people in our lives.. our fathers who have worked hard to provide for us.. our mothers to nurture and nourish us.. our siblings to teach us many things.. our teachers to prepare us for a career in whatever we choose to do.. and last but not least.. our friends who are just “there” to stand by us no matter what when the crisis happens!

When we were in school.. it was a given that we’d get home.. freshen up.. eat a snack.. finish our homework and then go downstairs (or outside) to play! We’d be counting the minutes until we could meet our friends and relate to them every minute detail of our day.. We were completely “in touch” with our friends!

Similarly.. mealtimes were when we’d regale our parents siblings and children with the happenings of the day.. the good.. the bad and the ugly! Complaints from the teacher at school.. the occasional word of praise.. how a friend was helpful or “unfair” perhaps.. gentle gossip about the neighbours.. the new TV and when would WE get a big one?!

College days were as much fun with bunking lectures.. eating at the local “Raju sandwichwallah”.. hanging out in the library and canteen.. sharing stories of new romances.. loves.. heartaches.. heartbreaks.. We used to talk our hearts out and share EVERYTHING that was happening in our lives! Being “connected” was our “default setting” and we didn’t know “how to be” any other way!!

When things started getting “civilized” and every house got a telephone.. things started changing.. we became a little “prim & proper” and a little “formal” and very much “American”! Instead of going across.. ringing the bell and announcing “Hi! I’m here.. I’m hungry.. what’s there to eat? I’m waiting to sit down and spend time with you” we started calling and chatting over the phone.. We started calling and saying “Hi.. is this a good time to talk”?

The “connections got a little diluted and then with the advent of the mobile phone.. we became even more “disconnected”! Covid happened and the mobile became our “lifeline” and our only means of communication! By the time the Covid protocols were relaxed.. a number of people were convinced that “being away from everything and everyone” was a good thing!

In the world we inhabit today.. morning messages.. condolence messages.. invitations.. RSVPs.. thank you messages and just about everything is via texting and WhatsApp.. WHY? Simply because we don’t want to “intrude”.. simply because “personal space” has become so important.. simply because it’s EASIER than meeting people face to face and saying what we want to.. and we don’t NEED to make the effort!

We may have hundreds of “friends” on social media and networking platforms.. but how many of those are 3 am friends? Some of us may say “I’m not good at keeping in touch so I don’t text/call/meet but the other person knows what I feel for him/her/them”! Seriously? How? Mobile phones are great for long-distance friendships but they can’t be a replacement for local ones!

We are human BEINGS and we need to BE connected.. cherished.. loved.. understood.. cared about.. and that’s just the way it is! Let’s not take the people we love respect and care about for granted.. but keep in touch and make plans.. meet up with each other.. put our mobiles away when we meet.. and revive the quality of our friendships and relationships!

Let’s be fearless when it comes to sharing how we REALLY feel with that handful of trusted friends and people.. not be ashamed to confess to failure.. to reach out and ask for help and support.. All this will be possible only when we stay connected a a deep and meaningful level..

Most important of all.. make sure that you are staying connected to yourself.. that you’re listening to your inner voice.. going with your gut instinct.. staying aware of and sensitive to people places and situations.. and praying thinking and doing whatever makes and keeps your heart and soul happy and at peace!

Stay blessed and stay connected.. in the right way!

 

IT'S TEACHER'S DAY.. a day to acknowledge miracles!!

September 5^th is one of the most special days of the year for me.. probably right “up there” along with my birthday! There is a very important reason for this.. it is the official day for a celebration of my “finding my calling” in life and living it with complete joy and dedication!

I have mentioned earlier that I grew up being “Papa’s Princess” and pampered to the hilt.. but one thing was sacrosanct.. I HAD to do something “substantial and meaningful” with my life! Being happily “headless and unaware” I floated through college not really giving my future a serious thought!

After graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in Arts with Psychology and Philosophy, there weren’t really too many exciting options so I drifted into Law.. for want of something better to do.. After a year of falling asleep in class (and inspite of a First Class in the exam) I dropped out because it was dry as dust and didn’t excite me in the least..

Everyone said I had “a way with words” so I dabbled in Advertising but found it too “pretentious and fake”.. selling a sub-standard product to an unsuspecting public went against my basic nature so I dropped out of that too! I attempted to do a course in Special Education remotely but realized that distance learning wasn’t for me either! By this time Daddy was firm and clear.. “Take a year off.. find the course you really WANT to do.. and DO it!”

I researched practically every course that was available in South Mumbai AND FINALLY DECIDED TO DO THE Post-Graduate Diploma in Early Childhood Education” at Nirmala Niketan.. My reasons weren’t the most praiseworthy.. I wanted to do something that would never be a 9 to 5 job.. needed lots of holidays and full weekends off.. Nursery Teacher’s Training would be a cakewalk.. I thought!

Nothing could have been further from the truth as it turned out.. it was a two year course condensed crammed and squished into a one year course and we had to work hard.. and I mean REALLY hard! Had I realized this lazy me would never have signed up for it.. but then it was a matter of “do or die in the attempt” because by then I wanted to make Daddy and my teachers proud and justify their faith in me and my abilities!

Learning the process of creating an environment conducive for children to “learn by doing” fascinated me.. and this is where my somewhat above average communication skills stood me in good stead! Being with children is to see “magic” happen all through the day.. watching them experiment.. succeed.. fail.. repeat.. and learn taught me patience.. gave me confidence.. awakened my curiosity.. taught me that it was OKAY to “make a fool of myself to entertain the children” and felt like I was FINALLY doing what I was made to do!

The joy of learning and doing what I loved made me always feel like “I was never going to work” and that no two days were ever the same made it something I looked forward to every single day! Acting and narrating stories.. making up and singing songs (even though I was never and am still NOT musical).. cajoling reluctant little people to try and taste something they had never eaten before.. coming home full of paint Fevicol and sand felt so worthwhile because there were such incredibly poignant hilarious magical and sometimes heartbreaking stories connected to those stains..

I was incredibly fortunate to do a wide and varied body of work within the “Early Childhood Education” space.. taught children.. supervised teacher trainees.. became a resource person and conducted workshops.. trained teachers.. planned programmes for young children for Aptech Computers.. designed curriculum for children at Euro Kids.. and ran an NGO called the “Salaam Baalak Trust” for street children!

Looking back at my 25 years of teaching.. I am so incredibly grateful for ALL the miracles along the way.. the brilliant teachers I had (Jana Nalini Nandita and Roshan) .. the most fun and inspiring colleagues (Sangeeta Neelam Anu Renu Sadhana Sucheta Rajshree Milind Vaishali and many more) the “bright as buttons” children in my care (Vibhav Anubhav Anshuman and Tasneem to name a few.. and the complete faith and trust of the parents in me!

Whether I’m volunteering at a Balwadi.. or playing games with tribal children.. my happiest space is in the classroom.. wherever it may be! When I’m old and grey (which I technically AM even now!!) I can still see myself dancing around the classroom and animatedly acting out the “Chooha Raja” story or explaining a concept to children!

I could have been so many things.. but am utterly blessed that I got to be a teacher.. a facilitator of learning.. a tear wiper.. a substitute Mamma.. a co-conspirator in mischief.. a storyteller.. a demonstrator.. a question asker.. a witness and participant to and in the magic of miracles that happen wherever little children are every single day!

And so on Teacher’s Day.. with folded hands I bow and convey my heartfelt to everyone who has taught me anything and everything that I have learned in life.. my parents and family.. the children I have taught and their parents.. my colleagues.. friends.. staff.. neighbours.. doctors..

To share my bestest compliment ever.. A little boy in my class when asked by his mother as to who his favourite "Auntie" (that's what we teachers were called) was.. categorically stated "I like all the Aunties.. but I LOVE Pallavi Auntie.. because she's small.just like me"!! Truly a memory to cherish for always!! 

For teaching me to care.. to share.. to laugh.. to love.. to have compassion empathy and discipline.. to be punctual honest and respectful.. and most of all.. to allow me to be ME.. 100% without any filters.. and accept me for who I am.. THANK YOU.. HAPPY TEACHER’S DAY.. AND I LOVE YOU ALL!!

P.S. Blogspot always plays spoilsport and doesn't show your names when you write a comment.. so please add your names! Thank you!!

RAKSHABANDHAN.. it's all about being connected..

 RAKSHABANDHAN.. it’s all about being connected..

Today is Rakshabandhan.. the festival that celebrates the bond between brother and sister.. the promise that the brother makes to always “be there” for his sister in times of trouble and “protect her” (do her “raksha”) from danger.. Thinking about this particular bond and all kinds of relationships got me thinking..

A bond is basically a connect and something that sort of “ties” people to each other in a positive way.. and that’s why it’s a celebration right? We are surrounded by protection and umpteen people who are “there” for us in times of need.. even though it may not be very obvious to us all the time!

As young children, our parents are our “bodyguards”.. they save us from falling (physical protection) and as we grow up.. from crying (emotional protection) from deprivation (financial protection) and they are solidly “there “ for us no matter what!

Our siblings are our “partners in crime” and our sharers of responsibility and blame (as the case may be).. they are often our loyal co-conspirators and our biggest secret keepers (especially while planning surprises for our parents.. and our biggest defenders and protectors from our parent’s wrath when we are in big trouble!

Times have changed a great deal now and with so many youngsters settling abroad.. our friends have become the family we choose for ourselves.. and they are often also protecting us.. be it from going astray.. acquiring bad habits.. associating with the wrong kind of people.. nursing us through an illness etc..

Rather than feeling compelled to follow rituals and tie a “rakhi”.. “utaaro aarti” and feed mithai simply because it’s the “done thing”.. why can’t we just spend some quality “one on one” time together with everyone who loves us and acknowledge their presence care and concern in so many words?

Do the people who are our protectors really even know what’s happening to us in real life? Do they know about our joys and stresses.. our anxieties and concerns.. our failures and victories? If they matter to us.. the should know.. they need to know.. simply because protection can be a heartfelt prayer.. a bear hug.. a sleepover full of reminiscences and stories..

Protection comes disguised in so many different ways.. it could be a “Call and let me know you reached home safely” or “Surprise! I made your favourite pasta for dinner” or “Today we’re both switching off our mobiles and doing a proper catch up” or “When I was praying this morning, I asked God to bless you especially” or "Haven't heard from you in such a long time.. hope all is well" or even just a “I’m here for you and always will be”..

Recognize the people you share your strongest bonds with.. acknowledge and appreciate them.. love nurture and cherish them.. keep in touch through calls and messages.. and never hesitate to express how you feel.. and above all else..

Remember.. love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay.. because love isn’t love until you give it away!!

Wishing you bonds of caring and sharing.. prayers and protection.. bonhomie and brotherhood.. love and laughter.. today.. tomorrow.. and every day thereafter!!

P.S. If you would like to post a comment.. please share your name.. this website is a little peculiar and doesn't show it automatically! Thank you so much! 

 

 

 

SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS TO US ALL.. be "tuned in" and aware!!

 Have you ever come away from meeting with or finished a conversation with someone you always thought was a very close friend (or family member) feeling like “What’s going on? It felt like there was just no “connect” in the conversation.. or.. Why doesn’t he/she understand what I’m trying to say.. or.. It feels like I’m talking to someone I don’t know anymore..” This happens to all of us at various points in time and we need to introspect as to WHY this is so.. It has been happening to me of late and I finally came to an answer which actually SHOOK me..

 One of life’s challenging realizations is that sometimes you outgrow your friends.. difficult to accept? Definitely.. but unless you accept it.. your own growth will not progress.. and you will not be able to alter and change certain patterns of thinking and behaviour that you need to.. if you want to get onto your spiritual path.. As I have mentioned earlier, getting onto one’s spiritual path and staying on it is essential if you want to grow as a person and get a realistic perspective on life.. and on yourself..

As we go through life we have a variety of experiences and meet and interact with different kinds of people.. some happy.. some not so happy.. some exciting and others boring.. some comfortable and others awkward.. How we feel about the experience and how we react/respond to the people is determines by our state of mind and heart at the time.. and our instinct as well.. As an example, let’s say we have school friends with whom we have played mischievous pranks.. mimicked our teachers and giggled at silly jokes which was great fun when we were young.. but seems downright stupid disrespectful and a waste of time 30 or 40 years later..

This happens because as we grow older and wiser in years.. we subconsciously and actively seek out like-minded people who have similar hobbies passions interests and value systems.. Those of us who are wise beyond our years realize and recognize the need to change and evolve in order to raise our levels of awareness and growth.. Some of us are lucky and blessed to find a mentor teacher or “guru” who conveys this directly or indirectly.. and a few unfortunates don’t realize and go through the major part of their lives comfortably tucked into their deep comfortable ruts and have no interest whatsoever in changing or evolving.. and that is SAD..

Speaking for myself, I was a typical giddy-headed Papa’s princess.. always higher than most on emotions and reasonably so on IQ but not necessarily on EQ.. Impulsive outspoken emotional and possessive about my friends, life gave me some hard knocks before I realized that it was wiser to be spontaneous tactful and not be TOO attached to the people I cared about! Buckets of tears were cried.. cartons full of tissues were used.. sleepless nights were suffered.. too many Tylenols were swallowed before I started paying attention to people who seemed to “have it all together”.. and HOW they were so different from me!

Deep and meaningful conversations with friends who are clear thinkers were enlightening.. and there was an overwhelming wealth of wisdom in the right books that were suggested to me to read.. Knowing that I get clarity when I write things down, I actually sat down and analyzed the friends and people in my life in terms of what they bring to the friendship.. how they make me feel.. what they teach me.. how I feel when I meet them etc.. It was very difficult to acknowledge to myself that there are some friends and/or family members that I have outgrown.. but it HAD to be done!

It has been an exceedingly empowering exercise and has helped me to understand things like this:

I have outgrown people who are envious of me.. I have outgrown the consistently negative people.. the ones who complain all the time.. the ones who take me for granted.. and believe me, they exist! The list is long so am sharing a quote by Chanda Kaushik that says it better than I would ever be able to..

“I have outgrown many things. I have outgrown relatives who gladly offer criticism but not support. I have outgrown my need to meet my family's unrealistic expectations of me. I have outgrown girls who wear masks and secretly rejoice at my misfortunes. I have outgrown shrinking myself for boys who are intimidated by my intelligence and outspoken nature. I have outgrown friends who cannot celebrate my accomplishments. I have outgrown people who conveniently disappear whenever life gets a little dark. I have outgrown those who take pleasure in gossiping and spreading negativity. I have outgrown dull, meaningless conversations that feel forced. I have outgrown those who don't take a stand against ignorance and injustice. I have outgrown trying to please everyone. I have outgrown society constantly telling me I'm not beautiful, smart, or worthy enough. I have outgrown trying to fix every little flaw. I have outgrown my tendency to fill my mind with self-doubt and insecurity. I have outgrown trying to find reasons not to love myself. I have outgrown anything and anyone that does not enrich the essence of my soul. I have outgrown many things, and I've never felt freer.”

Will sign off here with a heartfelt request.. sit down.. think.. analyse.. acknowledge.. and accept.. Some people were a part of your story.. some people are a part of it.. and a few will always be a part of it.. because you choose it to be that way! Don’t feel guilty.. it’s natural and just the way life is meant to be.. We all have only one life to live.. so raise the bar and live a quality life with the people that enrich your soul!