ACCEPT YOURSELF.. FOR EVERYTHING YOU ARE.. and aren't!!

"When I was just a little girl.. I asked my mother "What will I be?

Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me..

Que sera sera.. whatever will be will be..

The future's not ours to see.. Que sera sera.."

Doris Day's iconic song comes to mind so often especially in times of uncertainty.. which we're getting an overdose of these days! Is is the Delta? Is it Omicron? etc.. 

All little girls and boys dream of growing up to be pretty or handsome or rich.. meeting Prince Charming or their Queen of Hearts.. falling in love.. getting married.. and living happily ever after! Is it really that simple? Is it?

Let's start at the very beginning.. What will I be? The great big all-important I.. I.. ME.. and MYSELF.. Before we think of what we WANT to be.. let's think of what WHO and WHAT we are today! A number of us (including me sometimes) don't like looking at ourselves in the mirror.. We invariably end up thinking thoughts like "Ohmigod.. I've put on so much weight.. my nose is too big.. my skin is a mess.. my dark circles are even worse than they were a couple of days ago.. I'm having such a bad hair day etc.. etc.."

There is another mirror I want you to look at yourself in.. the mirror that shows you your soul.. your mind.. your thoughts emotions.. faults and failings and fears.. concerns.. insecurities.. and your deepest feelings.. look at the mirror WITHIN you.. and.. What do you see? When you sit quietly with yourself, do you see yourself as a happy well-adjusted and calm person.. or do you see a nervous wreck who's terrified of change.. the unknown.. possible illness.. a looming financial crisis.. or do you see yourself as someone who is lost insecure and struggling to cope with whatever life is going to throw at you next? Do you see a person who you wish was a little smarter.. better looking.. confident.. efficient.. a person who is ENOUGH? Or do you see your inner beauty.. your kind heart.. sensitive soul.. your organizational skills.. your cheerful disposition.. your wellspring of positive energy.. and all your incredible qualities that set you uniquely apart from others? 

The "gyaan gurus" (motivational speakers etc..) are always telling us "You can do it.. if you try.. You are capable.. just focus and make it happen.. To my mind, they're forgetting to ask us a couple of simple questions.. the first one is.. Do you love yourself? Do you think people accept you for who you are? Given a choice, what are the three things you would change about yourself? And THAT"S when you fall into the trap! The trap is self-doubt and it's a horrible place because it's infested with nasty things like low self-esteem.. insecurity.. tension and diffidence.. none of the things you need to live a happy fulfilling life! A number of us (including me until sometime ago) would often get the feeling of "I wish I was as confident as ABC.. or Why can't I tell jokes like XYZ or.. How come I'm not exceptionally good at anything?"

STOP!! Stop it right now!! Please know that the MOST important emotion in life is love.. and to be very specific.. self-love! Self-acceptance is the only way to truly experience self-love. To achieve this, you need to accept who you are and always be true to yourself. Then and only then will you be able to fully love yourself the way you deserve to be loved. Through self-love and self-acceptance, you will be able to set boundaries to determine how others treat you. If you show them that you are worthy and love yourself, they will treat you that way. This in turn ensures that they see that you won’t accept any treatment other than kindness and love.

Each and every one of us have some amazing qualities.. maybe we are fantastic cooks.. or have perfect bodies.. or are magicians with the computer.. have elephant-like memories.. are super high on empathy.. and ALL of us have areas that we need to work on.. maybe we need to be more organized.. lose weight (me).. remember to pay our bills on time.. are awkward in formal social situations (me me).. have two left feet on the dance floor (me me me)!! Just remember that you need to be AWARE of your strengths.. and challenges.. and ACCEPT them.. Once you accept them, the next steps of working on them and seeing things fall into place will just happen magically! Obviously, keep your goals and targets realistic and achievable.. and do it one step at a time!

In the words of Steve Maraboli "Love yourself.. enough to take the actions required for your happiness.. enough to cut yourself loose from the drama-filled past.. enough to set a high standard for relationships.. enough to feed your mind and body in a healthy manner.. enough to forgive yourself.. enough to move on.." You must do what it takes to be happy. This means cut the people out of your life that cause drama and let go of the situations caused by that drama. Expect your relationships to be fulfilling and joyful. Be willing to live a healthy life, both emotionally and physically. Forgive yourself for things that you’ve done wrong, and move on from the past.

Last, but by no stretch of the imagination is this the least.. start expressing love through your thoughts.. deeds.. AND words.. It worries me that people are so uncomfortable and reluctant to say "I love you" to their parents, spouses, siblings, family members and friends.. WHAT IS IT?? WHY?? Speaking for myself, it makes me very happy to hear these little words from the people I love! Indians are generally not brought up to be emotionally expressive.. and men even more so.. but this is something we all NEED to learn to do! It's so simple.. when we part from friends, we usually say things like "See you soon.. Drive safe.. Take care.. all you need to do is add a heartfelt "I love you" before leaving parting or hanging up!

I sign off hoping you didn't find my first blog of 2022 very preachy.. but it was a message I wanted to share with you all.. As always.. thank you for reading.. and know that you are loved and your presence in my life is cherished! God bless.. stay safe.. and keep loving yourself.. and those around you!