THANK YOU MUMMY & DADDY.. for the good habits!!

Of late.. I have found myself thinking about problems and their solutions.. and how.. whenever I had a problem I didn’t know how to solve.. or a situation I didn’t know how to deal with.. my “go to” person was always Daddy! If and when Daddy was travelling and I needed an immediate solution.. it was Mummy (being the oldish time of no mobile phones and instant communication)!

Whether it was Daddy or Mummy.. I remember being given a patient listening ear (more from Daddy of course) and then a discussion would follow.. including how I felt.. how the other person could possibly be feeling.. and options of solutions discussed in detail and finally narrowing down to one mutually acceptable option! The lesson learned then (and realized much later) was how important it is to listen to BOTH sides of a story.. consider everyone’s feelings and try and find a solution that is acceptable to everyone concerned..

All parents try to inculcate good habits in their children and mine were no exception.. waking up early was mandatory as well as non-negotiable.. 6:30 am on schooldays and 7:30 am on the weekends! In retrospect.. this is actually a blessing.. I am a total morning person and love that I achieve more than half of my “to do” list by 10 am.. I am truly amazed by and marvel at people who can sleep until 10 and 11 am.. that’s an impossible dream for me! I have tried but old habits die hard and this one is still very much alive and kicking!

Let’s talk about keeping things where they belong.. and this was taught in an absolutely no-nonsense manner! Just before my tenth birthday (with great excitement about finally getting int the double digits) Daddy called me and said “You’re going to be 10 years old and I want to give you weekly pocket money.. BUT.. you have to earn it! Every Saturday morning there will be room inspection.. writing table inspection and cupboard inspection.. and IF and ONLY IF everything is in place will you get the princely sum of 15 rupees a week.” The motto in our house was “a place for everything and everything in it’s place”.. For those of you who have accused me jokingly of being “borderline OCD”.. now you know where it comes from!

Discipline was very much in place at the dining table too.. Mummy and Daddy decided what we would eat.. how much.. and served us.. and the unspoken rule was “You don’t get up from the table until you finish what’s on your plate.. if you don’t like it overmuch you don’t need to take a second helping but what is there has to be eaten! Glasses of milk (which I detested) were downed without a murmur and I grew up eating every vegetable except karela and kantola which we were mercifully spared! Mummy was very clear that I should grow up and be a credit to her for being a non-fussy eater especially at other people’s homes!

Going out at night and curfews.. putting up posters on the walls and other adolescent nonsense type things.. Daddy was more lenient about this and explained to Mummy that it was an integral part of growing up which she accepted.. albeit not very happily! I clearly remember my 18^th birthday when all my friends (guys included) bussed me gently on the cheek and wished me.. and my mother clutching Daddy’s arm fiercely and hissing at him “Narendra! These boys are KISSING Pallu! And my sweet father.. imperturtable as always saying “Yes Vasant.. it’s okay and she would say “it’s NOT okay” which he would ignore in a most cavalier manner!

Poor Mummy had a hard row to hoe sometimes.. but she bore it with grace resentment and humour by turn! She was very simple direct and authoritative.. Daddy was far more diplomatic and softspoken (most of the time) but they were a great team and were generous with criticism and praise.. pampering and discipline.. and most of all.. consistent and solidly together in all decisions related to parenting (and definitely in our presence)!

Today I think of them both with gratitude.. and bless them for all the good habits and virtues they taught.. and I “caught” and wish that all children today are blessed enough to have parents who practice “tough love” and keep the relationship with their children in perfect balance! Good parenting sets boundaries.. creates a sense of security and results in mature sensible practical and well-adjusted children who have love laughter compassion and kindness to give the world!

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