Of late.. I have found myself thinking about problems and their solutions.. and how.. whenever I had a problem I didn’t know how to solve.. or a situation I didn’t know how to deal with.. my “go to” person was always Daddy! If and when Daddy was travelling and I needed an immediate solution.. it was Mummy (being the oldish time of no mobile phones and instant communication)!
Whether it was Daddy or Mummy.. I remember being given
a patient listening ear (more from Daddy of course) and then a discussion would
follow.. including how I felt.. how the other person could possibly be
feeling.. and options of solutions discussed in detail and finally narrowing
down to one mutually acceptable option! The lesson learned then (and realized
much later) was how important it is to listen to BOTH sides of a story..
consider everyone’s feelings and try and find a solution that is acceptable to
everyone concerned..
All parents try to inculcate good habits in their
children and mine were no exception.. waking up early was mandatory as well as non-negotiable..
6:30 am on schooldays and 7:30 am on the weekends! In retrospect.. this is
actually a blessing.. I am a total morning person and love that I achieve more
than half of my “to do” list by 10 am.. I am truly amazed by and marvel at people
who can sleep until 10 and 11 am.. that’s an impossible dream for me! I have
tried but old habits die hard and this one is still very much alive and
kicking!
Let’s talk about keeping things where they belong..
and this was taught in an absolutely no-nonsense manner! Just before my tenth
birthday (with great excitement about finally getting int the double digits)
Daddy called me and said “You’re going to be 10 years old and I want to give
you weekly pocket money.. BUT.. you have to earn it! Every Saturday morning
there will be room inspection.. writing table inspection and cupboard
inspection.. and IF and ONLY IF everything is in place will you get the
princely sum of 15 rupees a week.” The motto in our house was “a place for
everything and everything in it’s place”.. For those of you who have accused me
jokingly of being “borderline OCD”.. now you know where it comes from!
Discipline was very much in place at the dining table too..
Mummy and Daddy decided what we would eat.. how much.. and served us.. and the
unspoken rule was “You don’t get up from the table until you finish what’s on
your plate.. if you don’t like it overmuch you don’t need to take a second
helping but what is there has to be eaten! Glasses of milk (which I detested)
were downed without a murmur and I grew up eating every vegetable except karela
and kantola which we were mercifully spared! Mummy was very clear that I should
grow up and be a credit to her for being a non-fussy eater especially at other
people’s homes!
Going out at night and curfews.. putting up posters on
the walls and other adolescent nonsense type things.. Daddy was more lenient
about this and explained to Mummy that it was an integral part of growing up
which she accepted.. albeit not very happily! I clearly remember my 18th
birthday when all my friends (guys included) bussed me gently on the cheek and wished
me.. and my mother clutching Daddy’s arm fiercely and hissing at him “Narendra!
These boys are KISSING Pallu! And my sweet father.. imperturtable as always
saying “Yes Vasant.. it’s okay and she would say “it’s NOT okay” which he would
ignore in a most cavalier manner!
Poor Mummy had a hard row to hoe sometimes.. but she
bore it with grace resentment and humour by turn! She was very simple direct
and authoritative.. Daddy was far more diplomatic and softspoken (most of the
time) but they were a great team and were generous with criticism and praise..
pampering and discipline.. and most of all.. consistent and solidly together in
all decisions related to parenting (and definitely in our presence)!
Today I think of them both with gratitude.. and bless
them for all the good habits and virtues they taught.. and I “caught” and wish that
all children today are blessed enough to have parents who practice “tough love”
and keep the relationship with their children in perfect balance! Good
parenting sets boundaries.. creates a sense of security and results in mature
sensible practical and well-adjusted children who have love laughter compassion
and kindness to give the world!
Thank you for reading and do please share your name at
the end of your comment (if you choose to write one)..
