RAKSHABANDHAN.. because we need protection!

India has a plethora of festivals.. and most of them are rooted in religion.. filled with colour music and bonhomie galore.. They are happy occasions to dress up in our fanciest finery.. eat well.. give to the needy and celebrate in every way possible!

Today is a special festival.. it is Rakshabandhan.. a day that celebrates the bond that brothers share with their sisters.. that honours sibling love.. that demands a promise from brothers to protect their sisters.. and "be there" for them through thick and thin!

No matter how hard I (and most girls and women in the country) try.. I can't get the young doctor in Kolkata.. the raped ravaged and brutally murdered victim out of my mind! Am not saying ALL men are monsters.. but speaking for myself.. i CAN NOT even in my wildest dreams think of tying a "rakhi" on anyone's wrist.. not today or ever..

Having been the victim of deliberate and targeted physical violence earlier and almost a victim of the 26/11 terror attack.. I now have an inherent abhorrence to all acts of violence whether spontaneous or premeditated.. Rape and murder are not just desecrations of the body but also of the mind heart and soul.. and it is truly heartbreaking!

We live supposedly in a democracy that is supposed to support equality.. in a so-called developing country.. and heinous crimes like these are being perpetuated just too often! It is just NOT acceptable that these things should happen again and again and become more and more grisly and gory as time goes by.. 

Rakshabandhan is about protection.. and we all need it.. from negative thoughts.. negative energies.. negative people.. and all that makes us feel uncomfortable uneasy and unsure.. We live in times that are intimidating to say the least..

A "rakhi" is merely a glorified piece of string.. and can break very easily and the promise it represents can break even more easily! Mutual respect.. genuine affection and an unspoken promise to understand support and accept the other person (sibling.. parent.. child.. friend or colleague) is much more meaningful.. 

Make a promise to yourself today to protect YOURSELF first.. because only when your "safety parachute" is strapped on can you possibly help anyone else! Keep your PINs and passwords secret.. don't share too many details about your personal life on social media.. and live a simple life with limited social interaction.. 

Take comfort and solace in the fact that all of us have God's divine protection and always will.. and we will be protected and taken care of always! All we need to do is pray.. be kind.. be grateful and count our blessings! 

Happy Rakshabandhan!! 

(Thank you for reading and do feel free to share your name if you choose to write a comment.)

THE UNBRIDLED JOY OF DOING NOTHING.. for yourself!

Confession being good for the soul.. I must admit to being a “hyper person” and a “perfectionist” every now and then.. actually most of the time to be honest! There is this “keeda” inside me that makes me want to be DOING something all the time! I seriously envy friends who can “chill” all day on a Sunday.. maybe the maximum effort being made would be watching a movie or two on Netflix..

What I want to know is.. how? How? HOW? How can anyone get through an entire day doing absolutely nothing?! Don’t these people feel the slightest twinge of “guilt” about whiling away the entire day without achieving anything? Does it make them happy? Is it actually possible to enjoy it?! Nothing like experiencing it first-hand right? Right!

Am going off to my weekend home (haven actually) in Lonavala.. and have decided that this time.. I am NOT going to be the restaurant suggester.. the menu planner.. the social organizer.. the entertainment person.. Am really tired after a crazy hectic birthday and social month and just want to put my feet up and CHILL (as the kids of today say)!

After hearing SO MANY people wax eloquent about the charms and joys of doing nothing.. it is a sort of alien concept that I certainly would like to experience if only just once! Being a more than slightly addicted (to fun) personality, the only imminent danger is that I might actually LOVE it and want to do it on numerous occasions!

My mind is racing in so many directions all at the same time.. how will the time pass? In anticipation of some quiet time am carrying my spanking brand new Kindle (birthday gift from a very dear friend) and hoping to “rekindle” my passion for reading! There’s a charger safely packed to make sure we have super music on my Bluetooth speaker.. a few interesting munchies to nibble on while interesting conversations about life, love and everything in between are happening!

I am visualizing myself sitting outdoors on my patio.. looking at the beautiful Buddha statue.. listening to my “inner voice” and letting my thoughts flow wherever they want! The friends accompanying me are constantly telling me to “slow down and relax” and that will translate into somone else cutting the fruit.. making the green tea.. setting and clearing the table for meals.. and generally pampering me!

Some contemplation has resulted in the conviction that I AM exhausted and really need to rest before I burn out! Too much fun can be exhausting which has been a bit of a shocking truth that has dawned on me at the ripe old age of 61 years.. sad but unfortunately very true! Now it’s time to take a few days off.. catch up on my reading.. on my sleep.. and on cleaning up the photo gallery on my phone which is pretty much bursting at the seams!

Truth be told.. I am actually looking forward to NOT doing anything much.. to NOT having a plan.. to NOT having to decide menus and most of all.. to NOT having to answer multiple questions! I’m going to do my darndest to rest.. relax.. and take it easy so let’s see how it goes! It is a wonderful opportunity to sort out a few things in my mind.. and allow my deepest thoughts and feelings to come to the surface! All of us are pretty much “running on the treadmill” all the time and we all NEED to slow down once in a while!

This is going to be a refreshing change for me to actually be doing something primarily for myself.. most of the time.. I’m the one running around trying to put “sunshine” in my favourite people’s lives.. this time it’s about being my own pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! AND there’s going to be NO GUILT about anything!!

In the wonderful words of Doris Day..

“Que Sera Sera.. Whatever will be will be.. Will I be happy? Will I be restless?” Here’s what I say to me.. “Que Sera Sera.. I’m now completely ready to embrace and enjoy everything that comes to me!!”

Thank you so much for reading and do add your name at the end of your comment!

 

 

 

COUNTING MY BLESSINGS.. all through the day!!

Most of us live crazy busy lives.. and are deluded into thinking that the world will come to an end if we don’t do all the things we need to do.. and that we’re indispensable because no one else can do things the way we do them!

Being accused of being a perfectionist (with a fair degree of truth it must be admitted) I was guilty of thinking and feeling the same way! However, as the saying goes so truly that “life happens while you’re planning otherwise” and that’s exactly what happened with and to me too!

I spent an idyllic week long holiday with some of my closest friends in Abu Dhabi and Dubai.. walking.. swimming.. shopping eating.. chatting.. laughing.. and generally spending quality time together! What could be more perfect right? Into every life some rain must fall.. and so it was with me!

Walking out of a store in Mall of the Emirates (or MoE as the locals affectionately refer to it) I really don’t know what happened – it was literally like.. one minute I was walking.. and the next minute I lost my balance and knew I was falling! Luckily I realized and was able to turn to the left and make sure I fell on my thigh (instead of my knee or ankle) and “broke” my fall by stretching out my right palm!

God’s grace that I saw stars.. but was able to stand up in two minutes.. but the ring finger on my right hand was swelling by the minute! I managed to get the ring on my middle finger off but my ring finger was impossible since it was rapidly resembling a little balloon.. and hurting like mad! Things always seem better and more manageable on a full stomach so despite my friends insistence on going to a hospital we ate a delicious lunch (with my right hand submerged in a bowl of ice and water) before heading back to the hotel..

My friend Rina who lives in Dubai suggested we go to Medcare hospital and off we went! The team at Medcare was kindness itself from the receptionist to the nurse doctor radiologist and pharmacist! They had to CUT the ring off my finger which was excruciatingly painful but my friends Suhas and Medha were right there.. holding my hand patiently absorbing tight squeezes and maybe even some digging of nails into the skin! I was absolutely cosseted once we got back to the hotel and they were both super concerned and caring in the extreme! Between them, they packed my bags.. combed my hair.. helped me get ready.. and were the epitome of care and consideration!

Once I got back to Mumbai and met my doctor who luckily removed the plaster cast and changed it to a buddy taping, I was much more comfortable! Able to think.. the saying “too blessed to be stressed” hit me like a ton of bricks! Counting my blessings of solid friends through thick and thin.. sufficient resources to be able to afford quality medical care.. a lovely hotel.. a local friend who was out of the way resourceful and helpful.. minimal discomfort.. a wheelchair at both airports.. AND a phenomenal attendant at Mumbai airport who whizzed us through Customs without even having to put a single bag through the x-ray machine!

Am just so incredibly grateful for a helper who smilingly helps me with a bath everyday.. for simple and delicious food on the table.. for enough help and support (from my staff)  that gives me enough rest when I need it.. a comfortable home and so many friends who are praying for a quick recovery.. calling to check on me.. and just letting me know that they really care.. and that I really matter!

Counting my blessings through the day has become a default now.. and is something we should all do.. It keeps us grounded and aware of how inter-reliant we all are on each other.. and that truly “no man is an island” and we need to co-exist in happiness and harmony with each other to lead fulfilling and peaceful lives!

God bless.. thank you for reading.. and do remember to add your name at the end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!!

 

ON GURU PURNIMA.. Who is a guru?

A number of people in Mumbai.. and all over India and the world for that matter.. are very busy today! The reason for this is that today is Guru Purnima.. a day on which we get a special opportunity to acknowledge appreciate thank and revere our “gurus” for all that they do for and with us!

When I read about and contemplate as to who and what a real guru is.. in our tradition.. a real guru is regarded as the Divine himself.. A guru is the one who by his inner power can dispel darkness and lead the initiate to the realm of Light Truth and Bliss..

A guru, in many traditions and ways of life is often seen as a source of wisdom guidance and inspiration. He or she is someone who helps people on the path to spiritual growth and enlightenment, helping them overcome obstacles in their path which may come in the form of ego ignorance etc..

To my mind.. a guru is a blessing who guides us gently on how to live the best quality life we can.. who demonstrates how to raise our level of compassion.. who explains why it is so important to learn what our soul lesson is in life.. how to listen to our “inner voice” so enable us to awaken our “higher self” and connect with our soul..

To find a guru is a true blessing and I have been both.. fortunate and blessed to experience this joy.. and my guru speaks fluent English.. is fully updated on world affairs.. has an all-encompassing wisdom about the essence of life.. is always willing to share these pearls of wisdom when the time is “right” (generously seasoned with a wicked sense of humour) and has an unshakeable faith in the Divine Master! My guru keeps me in prayer protection and it is like wearing an Invisibility Cloak of armour that both repels and dispels any less than positive energies that may be directed my way..

Having a guru keeps me grounded and firmly rooted.. raises my levels of faith.. positive energy and makes me want to keep striving to be a better human being! It is a pure and beautiful relationship and one that is truly essential in order to live a high quality spiritual life and deepen soul growth..

I love honour and cherish this human being beyond infinity and only hope I am able to learn what I should and can (in spite of the fact that a great deal of the growing and understanding has to be “caught” rather than “taught” and “earned” before it is “learned”)!

Wishing you all the joy of finding a guru who is not just your spiritual guide.. but also a friend and philosopher.. a life coach.. a spiritual and emotional bodyguard and someone who fills every empty space in your life with exactly what you need at this moment in time..

God bless and wishing you a very happy Guru Purnima!!

 

The Happiness Index.. always keep it "way up there"!!

Happiness is such a precious state of being.. of feeling.. of emotion.. and that’s the reason why we are consciously (or subconsciously) chasing it all the time!

What does it take for us to be happy? Is it the big things like buying a new home.. a designer watch.. the latest cell phone.. or the slightly more everyday things like getting an unexpected financial windfall.. doing well in an exam.. assembling the perfect bhel.. or then..

Is it the (seemingly) little things that we take completely for granted like a peaceful night’s sleep.. the prayers that are answered and the inner voice that gives us expert guidance as we navigate our day to day lives?

I travelled recently to Bhutan and they have one of the highest “Happiness Indexes” in the world and experienced firsthand why it is so.. There is no competition or aggression.. imagine being in a country for eleven days and spending a fair amount of time on the road without hearing a single horn being honked! People are simple and straightforward.. they say what they mean and the mean what they say!

My friend lost her phone and was really panicked until our guide and driver told her “Don’t worry.. if a local person has found it you will definitely get it back”.. SO MUCH faith in their fellow countrymen! Needless to say, she did get her phone back and the shopkeeper apologized for the delay in answering our calls since he was busy with customers!

What do we need to keep our “happiness index” why up there? When you stop to think about it - actually very little.. On the surface of it.. a good meal.. close friendships.. a steady job.. and fun plans to go weekend shopping with perhaps a holiday or two every year seem like more than enough.. but is it really? My answer is a resounding NO!!

Maybe reaching the ripe old age of 60 has done it.. maybe meeting some special people who are a big part of my spiritual growth journey has done it.. maybe beginning to be able to recognize energies has done it.. maybe the wisdom of becoming a senior citizen has done it.. but I have understood that in order to be truly happy.. we need more.. much more of the things that money can’t buy!

Speaking for myself.. what I need is to be surrounded by people whose energy is positive.. who are generous with their acceptance and understanding.. who have a sense of humour that’s really funny.. some nice music.. basic homecooked food that’s prepared with love.. opportunities to travel to interesting places.. quality friendships.. inspiring conversations with deep sharing and plenty of “me time” to rest.. recharge and recalibrate!

Waking up this morning to a cloudy and grey day with pouring rain made me super happy.. the perfect weather to sit quietly and sip something hot.. to relax and “slow down”.. to not feel the need to make a “to do” list.. What is happiness made up of if not these little joys?

In conclusion.. it takes so little to make us happy that it is such a pity that in a world full of such beautiful things.. lovely places and wonderful people.. there should still be good people who are unhappy.. have tears in their eyes and pain in their hearts! So wake up.. open your eyes.. listen to your inner voice and do whatever it takes to make and keep your soul and yourself happy in the truest sense of the word!

In the immortal words of Denis Waitley “Happiness cannot be travelled to.. owned.. earned.. worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love grace and gratitude”!

P.S. Thank you for reading and please remember to leave your name at the end of your comment.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to all the Daddies!

Father.. Daddy.. Papa.. Abba.. Dad.. Bapaji.. Call him what you will.. but he’s still be the same.. your fiercest protector.. your biggest cheerleader.. your dearest friend.. your first philosopher and your bestest life coach.. He’s still the centre of your Universe.. and always your guiding star!

Fathers are the ones who pick us up when we “fall”.. physically morally emotionally and spiritually.. They are the ones who believe in us so much that we start to believe in ourselves.. They set the bar high and encourage us to strive harder and achieve.. they are also the taskmasters who lead by example and are the proudest and most generous with rewards and praise when we succeed..

As the Bournvita ad stated so emphatically.. “My Daddy strongest!!” and I believe in that so completely! Everyone who knows me knows that I’ve always been and always will be “Daddy’s little girl” (albeit all grown up now)! Every girl’s father and “perfect man” is invariably her Dad and I am no exception to the rule.. The perception may change as we grow up and form our own opinions but for me at least.. it has remained quintessentially the same!

When my parents were expecting me, he was super keen to have a little girl to pamper and when he read that the Queen of England had Welsh Corgi dogs for her children, he placed an ad in the paper for one and bought it for a considerable amount! When I arrived after a particularly trying and difficult pregnancy and delivery.. it was love at first sight to say the least! He made up special songs for me and would insist that Mummy bring me to the phone and put it to my ear when he called.. often in the middle of a working day!

I remember so clearly him being a very involved father who actively participated in my upbringing.. from waking me up in my pyjamas to long weekend drives (to Lonavala, Poona, Mahabaleshwar etc.. to singalong sessions of old and new family favourites in English, Hindi, Gujarati and Bengali in the car.. and playing a funny game called “Name Place Animal Thing” verbally..

As a little girl I was taken out of town very often (and hence am a true slave to the travel bug until the present day) and was made to stay at a variety of places.. from dharamshalas to circuit houses to small hotels and fancy ones.. no complaints were ever entertained and I was told to learn to “be happy wherever I was and with whatever I had”.. a lesson I am grateful for to this day!

Whenever we went to small nondescript restaurants and bigger ones too, I was given pencil and paper and told to read the menu and correct whatever spelling grammatical and punctuation mistakes there were (a portent that I would become a teacher?!).. out of the question to think I would be permitted to be a noisy brat who ran around shouting and disturbing anyone!

Daddy was a weirdly wonderful mixture of firm disciplinarian and indulgent parent.. a funny clown to an intellectual conversationalist.. He was the one who introduced me to his bar at the age of 17 and wanted to see my capacity for and tolerance of alcohol at home before I overdid it and collapsed or made a spectacle of myself in public.. he encouraged close friendships with boys and had a reputation for being the most “chilled out and cool Dad”!

He was a martinet when it came to personal hygiene and neatness and pocket money was judiciously dispensed on Saturday mornings after writing table inspection.. cupboard inspection and bedroom inspection was carried out and approved of! I remember when he took me on a 10 day “training holiday” to New York and Los Angeles (I was 13 years old) and taught me how to check and choose a hotel room.. place an order at a restaurant and book airline tickets! Another blessing in disguise..

On my 10^th birthday (getting into the double digits so very exciting and special) I wanted the Barbie Town House.. he bought it for me along with two big cartons containing abridged editions of all the classics that he wanted me to read.. from Charles Dickens to Emily Bronte to What Katy Did to Louisa May Alcott and a whole lot more besides! There was a complaint about untidy handwriting from school so the daily task was two pages of copywriting from ANY book along with a discussion about what I had written!

Daddy was everything in the world to me.. and I have inherited some wonderful things from him.. my love for reading.. my vocabulary.. my willingness to experiment with food.. my passion for travel.. my borderline OCD of constantly wanting to clean up and organize things properly.. AND some bad things like a nasty temper (which I have learned to control now) and the inability to suffer fools (gladly or otherwise)!

Any way I look at it, I feel truly blessed to have had him for so many years (and most daughters would feel the same way) so Happy Father’s Day to you and heartfelt thanks.. the biggest hugs and all my love to you always Daddy!

This post would be incomplete without thanking a few very special gentlemen who have “filled” some of the gaps that Daddy’s passing away created in my life.. with their personal affection.. professional expertise.. invaluable advice and so much more.. Super blessed to have you in my life Porus.. Pravin.. Rajeev.. Manish.. Senu.. Vishi.. Ashok.. Suhas.. Deepak.. and of course my very special GKG!

Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed reading this blog! Do please remember to include your name after writing your comment! God bless always!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHEN THE WEATHER IS SULTRY.. BE DESULTORY!

Mumbai is having a real humdinger of a summer this year.. the way it usually does.. I.. for one.. am exasperated with everyone perpetually mouthing the same three little (and highly unromantic) words “It’s so hot”! You know what? We are in the month of May.. and it is SUPPOSED to be hot.. sweaty and sultry.. So now what?! DEAL with it!

Energy levels are low.. enthusiasm levels are even lower.. and you’re borderline exhausted all the time! What is the best thing to do? When the weather is sultry.. BE desultory! I rarely preach what I haven’t practised and this blog is no exception to the rule..

After a fairly hectic and tiring week of socializing.. running innumerable errands and a bit of travel thrown in.. last night I decided that THIS Sunday I would be desultory! People who know me well accuse me (with a fair amount of truth) of being “hyper and on the go all the time” and I accept that to be the truth.. and decided to take a break!

I texted my one and only “last minute plan making” friend last night and said I just wanted to be with myself today.. instructed my staff NOT to disturb or wake me up this morning and went to sleep around midnight.. An unwelcome thirst urge woke me up at 5:30 and I promptly retreated under the covers only to surface at a joyous 9:40 am.. which is an inexpressible joy for someone who surfaces between 5 and 6 am on a daily basis otherwise!

There was no pressing “to do” list today.. but after a healthy breakfast I showered.. washed my hair.. and decided to lounge around the house in a nightie all day! Man Friday had been casting reproachful looks at me all week conveying his wordless disapproval of the chaotic state of my handbag and sundries cupboard.. I decided to pay heed and ease his misery so asked him to empty half of it and place the contents on my bed.. and almost had a minor heart attack when I saw HOW MUCH STUFF needed to be sifted through.. sorted and put away! Calmed myself down and got started and it was all done in a little over an hour.. and the feeling of ACHIEVEMENT when I finished was reward enough!

After a simple lunch I ambled around the house tidying up a few things here and there and then promptly went to sleep! To wake up knowing that you don’t HAVE to do anything or meet anyone is such a lovely feeling.. and this is what sultry (rainy muggy and cool) Sundays are made for! The whole sense of not making a plan.. not having a plan.. and doing the things that you like is so enjoyable!

A number of us are compulsively hell bent upon packing our week with work.. socializing.. running errands.. and “catching up” with things and people.. but I strongly urge you to try the method of “When the weather is sultry.. be desultory” at least one Sunday in the month.. it is an amazingly relaxing restorative and rejuvenating experience!

Having done something somewhat constructive and meaningful (by writing this blog) I will now make my way to the refrigerator for a glass of refreshing and rehydrating chilled coconut water.. and await your responses and comments on the blog (with your names at the end please)!

Have a wonderfully plan-free Sunday evening and as always.. thank you for your patience in reading!