When I was young (and significantly less wiser than I am now) my idea of friendship was, like most young children “You’re my best friend so I’ll tell you everything and you tell me everything too”! As I grew up this translated to (please note, I am not using the phrase progressed to!) “Let’s talk at 9 pm everyday and share everything that happened” and then.. as it always happens.. life changed..
Friends went to different colleges.. got engaged and
married.. shifted homes and sometimes cities.. and even that wasn’t a problem
because I have always had the pen of a ready writer and thoroughly enjoyed the
process of a lengthy and detailed correspondence to and fro.. except that most
of my friends stopped writing in detail.. and ultimately stopped writing!
My “need to feel needed” and to “be in touch” made it
very difficult.. I missed the friends I used to meet and talk to every day.. I
missed sharing the little anecdotes and jokes.. the “love life and boyfriend
problems”.. and so I made new friends.. My life was an open book and I shared
everything that happened.. and thought that that was the way it was supposed to
be.. and that everyone was like me!
As I got older, it became apparent that nothing could
be further from the truth.. people were secretive and not so open about sharing
the details of their lives.. and I accepted that.. albeit a little reluctantly!
The lack of “sharing” and “being in touch” was something I had to force myself
to accept as well.. even though I didn’t really understand the reason for it!
The good thing about college was that I made very
close friends who were open and stayed in touch.. and once I started working it
was different people.. different ages.. different mindsets and different
personalities.. I was relatively innocent and overprotected so easily shocked and
not used to the “games people play” at all.. I met guys.. had crushes.. dated
casually but my friends were the most important people in the world to me!
Living with an abusive alcoholic husband overseas ensured
that I kept in touch with my closest friends and family because I needed their
support! Upon returning to India I made a new friend (who I can’t name here)
who I worked with on an unusual project. She was (and still is) borderline
Bohemian (almost).. highly creative.. a smoker and drinker.. and although we
were polar opposites, we hit it off bigtime and got very close! She’s also the
one person who really encouraged me to write.. for which (and a number of
reasons) I will be eternally grateful..
She was pretty firmly on the spiritual path and used
to say things like “The Universe is listening.. Put that thought out in the
Universe.. We don’t need to talk everyday.. I love you and always will”.. Back
then.. I was as far away from the spiritual path as it was possible to be..
pretty much a total contrast to the person I am today! I loved her but didn’t
understand a lot of things she used to say! We shared a lovely friendship for
many years.. shared a lot of stuff.. supported each other through thick and
thin.. and then.. life happened and we both got caught up in our own lives..
I used to text her and wait for replies that wouldn’t
come for days and sometimes weeks on end.. and so we both “drifted” for a bit..
NOT “apart” but just “drifted” and finally weren’t in touch because I couldn’t
do the one-sided (as I thought) friendship! She texted me when her father
passed away and I went to pay my respects and then.. silence for the longest
time.. I shared the link to all my blogs and she read every single one!
She texted me a few days ago to say her Mom had passed
away and I spoke with her yesterday.. as gentle loving and accepting as she has
always been with me.. It was the most beautiful conversation I’ve shared with
anyone in ages and I was in floods of tears and drowning in gratitude just
being able to listen to her story and tell her mine!
I am blessed to have found my guru.. spiritual guide
and soul family over the last few years.. supremely thankful to them for so
many realizations and such amazing guidance and wisdom for the spiritual growth
they have enabled and fostered! All of you who are reading this know who you
are and how precious you are to me.. thank you is inadequate but straight from
my heart!
Sharing.. caring.. teaching.. and learning are all
from the body.. but accepting.. understanding.. respecting and loving are from
the heart and soul.. Some friendships are forever.. and I love you my Bohemian
babe! Thank you for taking me back into your life and saying you have always
loved me.. I love you too.. so very much!!
