THAT FEELING OF A “SELECTED FAMILY”.. is so beautiful..

Dada-Dadi.. Nana-Nani.. Papa-Mummy.. Bhaiya-Didi & Baby.. these are the people that make up a traditional family.. Right? The people who go to work and earn money to support each other.. who love each other.. run the house.. go on vacations together etc.. Everyone has their role and everyone has responsibilities that they fulfil to make the “family machinery” function smoothly..

That concept of “family” for a number people has evolved and changed now.. One is the family you are born into the people you share a home with while growing up.. and once you grow up.. you build strong and lasting relationships and often your closest friends become your family.. your daily workmates become your family.. you advisors and guides become your family.. and your kind and caring neighbours become your family too!

There are quotes and quotes about families and am sharing two of my favourites here..

“The Devil gives us our families.. but.. thank God we can choose our friends” and

“Friends are the family you choose for yourself”

No offence to anyone and nothing personal either but.. as we grow up.. go out in the world.. and meet different people.. something really special happens.. We are at various times.. in situations where we meet people who inspire us.. motivate us.. teach us.. make us laugh.. hold up a mirror to make us look at ourselves.. At the same time.. we encounter people who provoke us.. tease us.. compete with us.. are intrusive and perhaps even fight with us.. and that’s OKAY..

Look at the people you want to “adopt” into your “selected family” like a box of crayons.. some are bright and vibrant while others are dull and gloomy.. some are “in your face” while others are forgettable.. a few touch your heart and others don’t really interest you! Talk about the things that matter.. the ones closest to your heart.. the ones who accept you and understand you.. and hold on tight to them because they are the “keepers”!

“Keepers” cover a multitude of roles.. these are the people who will be your secret keepers.. your confidantes.. your sounding boards.. your advice givers.. your 3 am buddies.. your partners in crime.. your personal ATMs for occasional little indulgences.. your “punching bags”(for when you’re sometimes overwhelmed) and the people who will always listen.. understand.. and accept you for what you are WITHOUT judging!

Family members “compete” in small ways sometimes.. insist on taking arguments to logical conclusions.. argue fiercely over the most insignificant things..complain bitterly about your annoying habits.. but at the same time.. always stand up for you.. believe in you.. support you when you need them.. and give you unconditional love! Blood ties and DNA tests aren’t always what tie families together.. but mutual respect dependability and love certainly DO!!

I feel completely blessed to have friends workmates and neighbours who are all part of my “selected family” and “rock solid” there for me.. come what may! A number of you would feel very embarrassed to read your names here.. but you all know who I mean.. so just know from my heart to yours that I am incredibly grateful to count you as “family” and love you so very much! God bless our bond today and always!!

Wishing all of you the strongest and most wonderful “selected families” today and always! Thank you as always for reading and do please remember to add your name at the end of your comment! (Blogspot should really change this)!!

 

THANK YOU DADDY.. for the roof over my head!!

 Roti.. Kapda aur MAKAAN.. never take them for granted!!

So.. I went to Badlapur yesterday.. for those of you who don’t know.. it is an eastern suburb of Mumbai about 50-odd kilometres away from my house! And WHY would I ever want to go to Badlapur? Simple answer.. I was house hunting.. not for myself.. but let me tell you a story..

Flashback to 1958 (before I was even born) when my parents lived in a joint family with my paternal grandfather (Dadaji), uncle (Kaka and his family) in a three room house at Nana Chowk. Children came along and the families started growing and a shortage of space made life difficult. Dadaji told my parents they had to move out and offered to buy them a sea facing flat at Marine Drive.. but Daddy refused because what we know as Marine Drive today was a desolate lonely almost scary place to live back then!

In the “good old days” as we fondly refer to them, the Parsis were (as they still are) a highly respected and looked up to community! Dadaji found a Parsi owned building (Pil Court) on what was earlier called as Queen’s Road and rented a flat on the ground floor for my parents. The building had small gardens in front and at the side which were beautifully kept and once every month, young “chokra boys” were hired to WASH it with soap and water – inside and out! As time went by, they shifted to the fifth floor.. and finally to the fourth floor to the house where I live even today!

Growing up.. ownership of the building changed hands.. the hardworking“chokra boys” became a distant memory.. and we moved from tenancy into ownership! I still remember the look of quiet pride and satisfaction on Daddy’s face when he showed me the society share certificate with his name on it! Having your OWN house is a tremendous thing.. especially in a city like Mumbai! Huge milestone achieved for any head of a family.. to ensure that the spouse and children have their OWN roof over their heads!

My very industrious Man Friday (Kishore to all those of you who know him) had spoken to Daddy and me perhaps ten or more years ago and had expressed a desire to possess a small home in the city.. with some help from us! Somehow with life hurtling along at it’s pace, Daddy didn’t get a chance to do anything about it.. but he DID tell me to do the needful for my staff – all of whom we consider family!

Girl Friday would like a home in Badlapur to be able to be close to her family and off we went.. by airconditioned car and it took us TWO hours to get there! Driving through the suburbs drove home the fact of how blessed I am that Daddy had the foresight, ability, opportunity and wherewithal to buy a home in South Mumbai! After looking at various flats there and driving another two and a half hours to get home, I have a renewed respect for everyone who commutes daily to work (by TRAIN).. and don’t think I will EVER have the heart to ask my part-timer why she’s late to work!

We tend to expect our staff to commute.. be absolutely punctual to work.. do their job with a smile on their faces and talk politely.. be presentable and nicely dressed as well and that too - every single day! Seriously? They are HUMAN.. as human as we are.. and perhaps a little bit more because they’re fighting crazy odds just to survive.. every single day!!

This whole thing has been an experience and more than that, a lesson in gratitude, humility and sensitivity. All the way back from Badlapur I was just thanking Daddy and blessing him for seeing to it that I have my OWN roof over my head.. and that this is a privilege and blessing that everyone should ideally have!

To sum it up in the immortal words of Marvin Gaye:

“For I'm the type of boy
Who is always on the roam
Wherever I lay my hat
That's my home
I'm telling you, that's my home”

 

ON TEACHER'S DAY.. gratitude!!

The youth of today make their career choices fairly early in life.. mainly because they have multiple options available! Today's youngsters can choose to be pretty much whatever they want.. provided of course that they score the (seemingly) impossibly high grades demanded by various much sought-after institutions and ruling committees!! 

In retrospect.. my generation had far more limited options.. the really bright students took Science and became doctors or engineers.. the second tier took Commerce and the minimally academic minded (like me) took Arts from where it was a foregone conclusion that girls would either marry or become teachers!

The circumstances under which I became a teacher were slughtly different.. after trying my hand at advertising (and finding it too "fake") I realized that I needed to learn something and DO somwthing that would "make a difference" to people's lives! Social work was never my cup of tea.. and I was too much "Papa's Princess" to do an eight hour day.. very clearly I needed weekends off and adequate time to travel.. so teaching was my best option!

I signed up for and secured admission to a post-graduate Diploma (no degree course was available) in Early Childhood Education (Nursery Tracher's Training)! People assume that I LOVE little children and thats why I chose teaching.. honesty demands that I confess that I liked little children as much as the average person.. but I always found the process by which children learn fascinating and so..

Pitchforked into an intensely gruelling two year course that had been compressed and condensed into a one year programme was exhausting to say the least! I seriously contemplated giving it up more than once.. but the sheer joy of being in the classroom paired with the fun of getting to do something new different and creative on a daily basis kept me grounded focused and loving it!

After giving this profession a solid twenty five years.. I say with pride that it has given me so much more than I have given it.. In return for dedication hard work sleepless nights and being constantly mentally challenged.. I got sunny smiles.. bonecrushing hugs and daily opportunities to be a "magician" and see "wonder filled eyes"!

It taught me patience tolerance sympathy and empathy.. to be a good listener without judging.. to be able to look at situations from the child's point of view.. It taught me that I am accountable for my smallest action and most importantly.. it taught me that it's okay to make mistakes and that I didn't NEED to know the answer to every question! (Now there's Google but back then it was Daddy and the World Book Encyclopedia)!

Teaching and being a facilitator of learning brought alive to me the fact that "You have a very responsible job in this place/classroom/school/world.. if ANYTHING goes wrong.. YOU are responsible!" Learning to be super organized.. preparing in advance.. "a thing for everything and everything in it's place" and listening to understand instead of listening to reply.. phrasing less than positive words in a positive way and keeping my sense of humour intact no matter what are just a few of the many invaluable life lessons that I learned along the way! 

Today when I look back.. my heart overflows with gratitude for all the wonderful magical moments.. for all that I have learned - to give and to receive.. time energy and knowledge.. unconditional acceptance.. honesty and integrity.. wonderful  colleagues.. inspiring teachers.. strength and most of all.. the capacity to love! 

Older and a little wiser now.. I know that everyone in our life is a teacher and comes when we need them to.. "When the student is ready.. the teacher appears" and it is up to us to create the most meaningful interactions and be lifelong learners!

Heartfelt thanks and deepest gratitude to all the children parents.and teachers whose lives I have been privileged to be a small part of.. for the faith and trust you have reposed in me.. and the hope that I have fulfilled my responsibilities and lived up to your expectations! 

To everyone else.. thank you for everything that without your teaching me.. I have gained and learned from you.. whether you are friends.. family.. staff.. neighbours.. financial advisors.. Thank you for being blessings in my life and know that I am deeply grateful and let's keep learning feom and teaching each other!

As always.. thank you for reading and wishing you a very Happy Teacher's Day!!

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