BEING IN NATURE.. is imperative!!

 It is after a very long time that I am at a wildlife sanctuary.. and it is quite a magical experience! I'm at the Evolve Back Resort in Kabini which is in Karnataka and to call it beautiful would be an understatement for sure! 

When I say the resort is beautiful I mean it at various levels.. the cottages are super comfy with a private pool and jacuzzi.. a little living room.. a spacious bedroom and very generously sized bathroom.. The staff is always smiling.. service is quick and nothing is ever too much trouble!

What's the main reason for coming here? To see the Nagarahole and Bandipur national parks and hopefully see the elusive leopard and/or tiger.. which hasn't happened so far!

We've done the early morning safaris by Canter (exhausting and very dusty) Jeep (much more comfortable) and boat (super calming) andseen spotted deer wild boar gaur eagles cormorants egrets crocodile jungle dogs kingfishers and whatnot.. and it was all incredible to see..

Driving through the jungle was incredibly relaxing (even though we were bumped and jolted a fair amount).. the chirping of birds.. the sweet sound of crickets.. the balmy breeze.. the lush forest all combine to lull you into a sense of peace and "all is well with the world".. and you feel like the jungle is so beautiful and there's nowhere else you'd rather be at that moment in time..

The other side of it was a bit of a shock when the resort screened a documentary in which we saw various animals including the brutal and graphic killing of a spotted deer by jungle dogs.. it was disturbing in the extreme and really set me thinking..

The laws of the jungle are "might is right" and "survival of the fittest" and I wonder and marvel at the resilience of animals who inhabit the jungle.. There's always a predator lurking and you've got to be on high alert if you want to survive!

Imagining how a doe feels when she sees her fawn killed in front of her eyes.. she doesnt even have the luxury of staying there mourning her loss for a few minutes since the predators are always hungry and on the prowl.. There's a huge takeaway from this in terms of learning "attachment with detachment".. which is what our spiritual guides and gurus are always telling us to do!

After high tea we were just relaxing on loungers by the infinity pool and watching an absolutely breathtaking sunset when it struck me that what I was feeling was an incredible sense of calm.. I felt happier than I've felt in months and was truly "zen"..

Being in the lap of Nature.. surrounded by trees plants and grass proved overwhelmingly that the abilities of "thinking and feeling" are at peak when we are relaxed and completely at peace.. Physics has peoved that out of all the colours in the rainbow, we humans respond the most to green..

Don't take my word for it.. make sure you spend some time in Nature every day.. look at a tree.. sit under it.. walk on grass.. grow and tend to some plants.. but make sure to "be with" Nature as much as you can every single day.. Mother Nature restores relaxes and rejuvenates us better than any tonic can! 

Last but not the least.. let's count our blessings and just be grateful that every day isn't a struggle for survival like the inhabitants of the jungle.. and resolve not to complain and grumble but just be thankful for and acknowledge and appreciate all the good people and good things we have in our lives!!

Thank you so much for reading and do please share your name at the end of your comment (if you choose to write one)..

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY.. to so many!!

They make such a big deal about International Women’s Day.. celebrating women entrepreneurs.. successful women in the corporate world.. widows who have overcome personal tragedy to go on and empower themselves and rebuild their lives.. divorcees who have excelled at something or the other.. single women who are making headlines in the fields of science politics art sports and whatnot!

And what about men? They do all of the above and more.. and it so often goes unnoticed.. unmentioned and definitely undercelebrated.. and that’s just NOT fair! To my mind, we kind of take it for granted that men have to be stoical strong resilient brave resourceful handy around the house and all the rest of it!

Is that even fair? Heck NO! In addition to the above, and largely thanks to the media hype overload we expect men to be romantic.. to remember and celebrate birthdays anniversaries etc.. to miraculously read our minds and guess what we are thinking and wishing for and wanting to do.. all the time! You know what? Men’s brains are just wired differently and they’re just not able to multitask like women.. and “get” all the small stuff! Deal with it! 

However.. in their defence I would like to make a few points here.. Ever since I was a young girl, I always had very close friendships with boys and later on.. with men! Much easier than friendships with women because.. first and foremost.. there was no sense of “competition” in terms of looks or “hotness” or any of that stuff! Guys are always more patient and “chilled out” than women.. and courteous and gentlemanly without being asked to be! They are reliable and dependable and “rock solid” support systems without the “emotional drama” angle attached!

Spending time with guys can be a little tricky at times.. and it’s always a good thing if you share a love for some sport.. or James Bond movies etc.. If the way to a man’s heart is truly through his stomach and you are a good cook.. it’s pretty much a given that you will be able to swing him around to your way of thinking on numerous occasions!

I have been truly blessed to have some amazingly incredible men in my life who have taught me so much.. guided me.. supported me and helped me through happy and not-so-happy times.. and a number of them continue to do so! The first and most important man in my life was obviously Daddy who taught me most of what I know and gave me a solid value system! Equally important precious and cherished (in no particular order of preference are GKG.. Porus.. Manish.. Pravin.. Suhas.. Rajeev.. Vishwanath.. Amit 007.. Rajesh.. Senu and of course my dear friend Kettan!

Today I just want to celebrate all of you for being the “super heroes” in my life and teaching me what life is all about and how to live it the best way I can! Thank you for believing in me and being with me through everything that life chooses to throw my way! God bless and lots of love always to each one of you.. each and every one of you is precious beyond words and I am so grateful!

Thank you so much for reading.. please share your name at the end of your comment (if you write one) and do celebrate the incredible men in your life today too.. simply because they really and truly deserve it!!

 

WHEN GOD SENDS GOOD PEOPLE INTO YOUR LIFE.. cherish them!!

Are you the kind of person who begins the day with a prayer? Do you give thanks for a new day or ask for something to go smoothly or are you simply grateful for all the blessings that you have already? There’s a special reason why I’m writing this blog and asking this question..

I was away for the weekend to my holiday home in Lonavala and had gone with two of my dearest friends.. the people for whom I hold the greatest love respect and admiration.. It was a precious time of sharing.. growth.. asking questions to each other and ourselves.. understanding.. and learning.. These are the people who aren’t hesitant to ask the sometimes uncomfortable questions.. to tell like it IS (and isn’t) and just be completely honest and upfront with each other!

Am back home feeling very much at peace.. very happy.. and just so grateful to have people like these in my life.. who make me think about my journey - the decisions I make.. the people I interact with.. the choices I make.. and the reason I do what I do.. and why I feel the way I feel..

I am just reflecting and thinking if everyone had a really genuine “sounding board” who listens patiently without being judgemental.. understands what we are trying to say but sometimes struggling with finding the words to express it.. advises gently.. gives clarity and puts things into the right perspective.. the world would be a much nicer place! Sounds like a tall order to fulfil right? Just have compassion and kindness.. and listen to understand instead of “half-listening” to reply.. and it will all work out for the best!

A very important thing to remember in life is that we HAVE good people in our lives because we DESERVE them! When God sends good people into your life.. recognize.. acknowledge.. be grateful and cherish them! Make time for them.. have amazing conversations.. share what’s happening in your life.. your hopes dreams desires plans and concerns.. Discuss ideas back and forth.. analzye and find solutions together.. and most of all.. RESPECT each other!

Just had a lovely conversation over the phone with a very close friend who lives in Bangalore (I refuse to call it Bengaluru!!) and that was again a long relaxed and meaningful “catch up” and it’s made me understand for sure that I’m not really cut out for just the superficial chatter.. and I’m not good at it either!

Super grateful to all those of you who share these incredible “real life” stories with me.. all those of you with whom I have a mutually “nurturing” relationship and to all those of you wonderful people who have trusted and loved me enough to make me an integral part of your life.. and allowed me to make you an integral part of mine as well.. Ending by sending out lots of love light and happiness into the world to everyone in the Universe.. remain blessed!

As always, thank you so much for reading and please share your names at the end of your comment (if you should choose to write one)!!

MAGICAL MOMENTS DO HAPPEN.. when you’re lucky!!

One of the most charming things about life is that it’s unpredictable! Some days it’s exasperating and irritating.. other days are uneventful and boring.. and when you least expect it.. some days are magical in the most special way! Today was one of those magical ones for me and I’d love to share it with all those of you who read my blog..

The day started as usual with my morning walk.. followed by breakfast and a swim at the club.. Breaking away from routine, I had to attend an event on “Social Impact and Philanthropy” at the Taj Mahal hotel.. These highly fancy corporate events tend to overwhelm me at times but somehow I agreed to attend this one!

The primary topic of discussion when I reached was Climate Change and there was an animated discussion in progress when I reached (unfortunately my once upon a time pristine record for punctuality doesn’t shine quite as brightly these days)! There was a panel of eminent experts – two high falutin’ very intelligent and experienced gentlemen.. the moderator and a very attractive young lady who was lucid in thought, clear in speech and needle sharp while sharing her views and ideas on the subject..

When I read her name, it struck me that I had most probably taught her in pre-school but perhaps 30+ years ago.. and children change.. Me being me.. I HAD to ask so after the Question & Answer session was over and it was time to mingle, I went up to her and asked if she had attended a particular pre-school and of course she said yes!

One I told her my name, she remembered me and we had a “mini catch up” where she mentioned that her husband was in the same school at the same time (although that wasn’t when the romance started) and I remembered him so clearly as well.. just how he looked with the mischievous smile!

Words are inadequate to express how I felt seeing her holding her own.. confident.. bright.. extremely committed to her cause and her work.. a mother couldn’t have been more proud! As I have written earlier, it is truly a privilege to have been a part of children’s learning journeys and then when you see them as successful adults “out there” in the REAL WORLD.. holding their own.. passionate about what they do.. doing so well.. You just know it was all so worthwhile!

It was otherwise a day of some “high highs” and “low lows” but this was the absolute standout and am beyond grateful to the Universe and the powers that be for guiding my footsteps to the Taj Mahal Hotel this afternoon! I know pre-school teachers (in my time) were paid a pittance as salaries.. but with serendipitous happenings like this one and so many special memories, I feel extremely rich in the “magical moments” that money can’t buy!

I am sure you’re reading this betu.. just want to say God bless you always.. march on to even greater glory.. and know that I love you and will always be super-duper proud of you.. simply because.. Wherever you go.. whatever you do.. you’ll do extremely well.. I know!!

Thank you as always for reading.. and please share your names at the end of your comments!!

 

FEELING ALL “FESTIVALLED OUT”? Here’s what do do!!

It’s been a virtual (and real) whirlwind of celebrations right? You’re exhausted and wallowing in guilt.. regretting all the mouthwatering delicacies you’ve indulged in the past week? Sleep deprived and in a state of “Did I really drink THAT much over Diwali.. feels like I lost the plot there for a while”? Don’t stress.. yes.. perhaps you DID behave out of character and perhaps you DID overindulge.. SO WHAT?!

Festivals roll around once in a while.. and we are supposed to and expected to let down our guard.. throw caution to the winds.. indulge and overindulge for a short duration without counting calories.. take pleasure in the little joys of spending quality time with the people who are precious and special to us.. and we are ALLOWED to “go crazy” for a few days!!

In the immortal words of the exceedingly wise Dr. Seuss “Don’t cry because it’s over.. smile because it happened”.. so save and share the pictures.. savour the memories.. and enjoy the few hours left of this wonderful week! Eat that chocolate biscuit.. finish that last piece of mithai.. do a happy “bottoms up” with the unfinished wine bottle.. and then..

Make your “to do” list.. both personal and professional.. shake off the feeling of lethargy.. “wake up” and get organized.. pack your office bag.. plan your meals.. get the festive clothes laundry ready.. put away the fancy crockery and cutlery.. the special linen.. delete the “seemingly” hundreds of forwarded Diwali images and messages from your phone gallery.. maybe even plan that “last for the festive season” drink and/or dinner.. and AFTER That..

Get ready.. to put your plans into action! Don’t set yourself up or the Monday morning “blues”.. instead.. keep your clothes footwear and accessories ready for tomorrow morning.. wear something you like and you know suits you so you’ll automatically be in a good mood.. and set your alarm 15 minutes earlier so you can have a leisurely cup of tea/coffee/breakfast so you don’t start the day with a sense of panic about being late..

Keep your goals for the week achievable and manageable.. 4 pieces of mithai don’t go away in a single day and neither does the third cocktail that you really shouldn’t drunk! Make sure you get at least 20-30 minutes of your favourite every day.. walking.. swimming.. climbing stairs.. whatever gives you a “high” and sense of achievement (and more importantly what you can sustain on a regular basis)!

And because it’s ME writing this blog.. please start thinking about your Christmas and New Year plans if you haven’t already.. it will bring you joy and motivate you to stay focused on your health and fitness goals! Book those tickets.. apply for the visas and work on getting vacation ready once again! You only live once (YOLO as the kids say) but if you live right.. once is more than enough!

If there are a few things you need to hold on to about the Diwali festive season.. they are.. the happy times you’ve spent with loved ones.. the jokes and laughter that made you smile.. the invaluable gifts of friends who are family and above all these.. strong faith in the overwhelming power of both.. light and LOVE..

Thank you as always for reading.. and PLEASE share your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!!

AS WE GROW.. IF WE ARE LUCKY AND AWARE.. we learn!

When I was young (and significantly less wiser than I am now) my idea of friendship was, like most young children “You’re my best friend so I’ll tell you everything and you tell me everything too”! As I grew up this translated to (please note, I am not using the phrase progressed to!) “Let’s talk at 9 pm everyday and share everything that happened” and then.. as it always happens.. life changed..

Friends went to different colleges.. got engaged and married.. shifted homes and sometimes cities.. and even that wasn’t a problem because I have always had the pen of a ready writer and thoroughly enjoyed the process of a lengthy and detailed correspondence to and fro.. except that most of my friends stopped writing in detail.. and ultimately stopped writing!

My “need to feel needed” and to “be in touch” made it very difficult.. I missed the friends I used to meet and talk to every day.. I missed sharing the little anecdotes and jokes.. the “love life and boyfriend problems”.. and so I made new friends.. My life was an open book and I shared everything that happened.. and thought that that was the way it was supposed to be.. and that everyone was like me!

As I got older, it became apparent that nothing could be further from the truth.. people were secretive and not so open about sharing the details of their lives.. and I accepted that.. albeit a little reluctantly! The lack of “sharing” and “being in touch” was something I had to force myself to accept as well.. even though I didn’t really understand the reason for it!

The good thing about college was that I made very close friends who were open and stayed in touch.. and once I started working it was different people.. different ages.. different mindsets and different personalities.. I was relatively innocent and overprotected so easily shocked and not used to the “games people play” at all.. I met guys.. had crushes.. dated casually but my friends were the most important people in the world to me!

Living with an abusive alcoholic husband overseas ensured that I kept in touch with my closest friends and family because I needed their support! Upon returning to India I made a new friend (who I can’t name here) who I worked with on an unusual project. She was (and still is) borderline Bohemian (almost).. highly creative.. a smoker and drinker.. and although we were polar opposites, we hit it off bigtime and got very close! She’s also the one person who really encouraged me to write.. for which (and a number of reasons) I will be eternally grateful..

She was pretty firmly on the spiritual path and used to say things like “The Universe is listening.. Put that thought out in the Universe.. We don’t need to talk everyday.. I love you and always will”.. Back then.. I was as far away from the spiritual path as it was possible to be.. pretty much a total contrast to the person I am today! I loved her but didn’t understand a lot of things she used to say! We shared a lovely friendship for many years.. shared a lot of stuff.. supported each other through thick and thin.. and then.. life happened and we both got caught up in our own lives..

I used to text her and wait for replies that wouldn’t come for days and sometimes weeks on end.. and so we both “drifted” for a bit.. NOT “apart” but just “drifted” and finally weren’t in touch because I couldn’t do the one-sided (as I thought) friendship! She texted me when her father passed away and I went to pay my respects and then.. silence for the longest time.. I shared the link to all my blogs and she read every single one!

She texted me a few days ago to say her Mom had passed away and I spoke with her yesterday.. as gentle loving and accepting as she has always been with me.. It was the most beautiful conversation I’ve shared with anyone in ages and I was in floods of tears and drowning in gratitude just being able to listen to her story and tell her mine!

I am blessed to have found my guru.. spiritual guide and soul family over the last few years.. supremely thankful to them for so many realizations and such amazing guidance and wisdom for the spiritual growth they have enabled and fostered! All of you who are reading this know who you are and how precious you are to me.. thank you is inadequate but straight from my heart!

Sharing.. caring.. teaching.. and learning are all from the body.. but accepting.. understanding.. respecting and loving are from the heart and soul.. Some friendships are forever.. and I love you my Bohemian babe! Thank you for taking me back into your life and saying you have always loved me.. I love you too.. so very much!!

 

HAPPY DUSSEHRA.. slay those demons!!

On Dussehra we all talk about the triumph of good over evil.. and how good always prevails no matter what..

We like to hope and pray that this holds true always.. but dont seem to realize that it all starts from within ourselves and our minds..

I have been given to understand that everything we do and everything we go through is about both.. intentions and permissions.. That is to say.. if we arr being abused emotionally mentally physically or financially.. it is because we have given "permission" for that person to "abuse" us..

It is of the utmost importance to now listen to your inner voice.. gut feeling.. instinct or whatever you choose to call it.. Start questioning when you are being offered something (it could be a choice between two colours.. a gift for no reason.. a job opportunity you're not really qualified for etc..

If you are uncomfortable or unsure why someone is offering you something you haven't earned.. deserve or have asked for.. ask yourself as to what the person's intention for offering it to you could possibly me.. It may be to "gain control" over you later or to be able to "call in the favour" at a later date.. or any other undesirable reason!

First and foremost we need to pray in order to slay our own demons of greed jealousy pride conceit and inadequacy in order to connect with our soul.. for it is only after we overcome these that we will be capable of fighting the bigger battles that life will throw our way!

We also need to have our own code of ethics that we live by.. and stay true to it no matter what! That also doesn't give us the right to judge others.. but to stay true to ourselves! We need to have the courage of our convictions.. stand up for what is right.. and not compromise on our ideals in order that we can hold our heads high and make sure our intentions are always crystal clear.. pure and clean..

We also need to protect ourselves from negative energies and so create  around ourselves (metaphorically speaking) an invisible field of positive energy that repels less than desirable thoughts words and intentions.. 

We need to make sure we don't give permission to anyone to harm us.. take us for granted or influence our thoughts and feelings for the wrong reasons! Stay focused on and aware of how you feel and what you feel.. and why you feel like that!

Once we learn to stay positive.. strong and "in touch" with ourselves.. what is right will always prevail and we won't need to live in uncertainty fear or anything uncomfortable!

Happy Dussehra and God bless you all.. Thank you as always for reading! 

Please add your name at the end of your comment if you should choose to write one..

THAT FEELING OF A “SELECTED FAMILY”.. is so beautiful..

Dada-Dadi.. Nana-Nani.. Papa-Mummy.. Bhaiya-Didi & Baby.. these are the people that make up a traditional family.. Right? The people who go to work and earn money to support each other.. who love each other.. run the house.. go on vacations together etc.. Everyone has their role and everyone has responsibilities that they fulfil to make the “family machinery” function smoothly..

That concept of “family” for a number people has evolved and changed now.. One is the family you are born into the people you share a home with while growing up.. and once you grow up.. you build strong and lasting relationships and often your closest friends become your family.. your daily workmates become your family.. you advisors and guides become your family.. and your kind and caring neighbours become your family too!

There are quotes and quotes about families and am sharing two of my favourites here..

“The Devil gives us our families.. but.. thank God we can choose our friends” and

“Friends are the family you choose for yourself”

No offence to anyone and nothing personal either but.. as we grow up.. go out in the world.. and meet different people.. something really special happens.. We are at various times.. in situations where we meet people who inspire us.. motivate us.. teach us.. make us laugh.. hold up a mirror to make us look at ourselves.. At the same time.. we encounter people who provoke us.. tease us.. compete with us.. are intrusive and perhaps even fight with us.. and that’s OKAY..

Look at the people you want to “adopt” into your “selected family” like a box of crayons.. some are bright and vibrant while others are dull and gloomy.. some are “in your face” while others are forgettable.. a few touch your heart and others don’t really interest you! Talk about the things that matter.. the ones closest to your heart.. the ones who accept you and understand you.. and hold on tight to them because they are the “keepers”!

“Keepers” cover a multitude of roles.. these are the people who will be your secret keepers.. your confidantes.. your sounding boards.. your advice givers.. your 3 am buddies.. your partners in crime.. your personal ATMs for occasional little indulgences.. your “punching bags”(for when you’re sometimes overwhelmed) and the people who will always listen.. understand.. and accept you for what you are WITHOUT judging!

Family members “compete” in small ways sometimes.. insist on taking arguments to logical conclusions.. argue fiercely over the most insignificant things..complain bitterly about your annoying habits.. but at the same time.. always stand up for you.. believe in you.. support you when you need them.. and give you unconditional love! Blood ties and DNA tests aren’t always what tie families together.. but mutual respect dependability and love certainly DO!!

I feel completely blessed to have friends workmates and neighbours who are all part of my “selected family” and “rock solid” there for me.. come what may! A number of you would feel very embarrassed to read your names here.. but you all know who I mean.. so just know from my heart to yours that I am incredibly grateful to count you as “family” and love you so very much! God bless our bond today and always!!

Wishing all of you the strongest and most wonderful “selected families” today and always! Thank you as always for reading and do please remember to add your name at the end of your comment! (Blogspot should really change this)!!

 

THANK YOU DADDY.. for the roof over my head!!

 Roti.. Kapda aur MAKAAN.. never take them for granted!!

So.. I went to Badlapur yesterday.. for those of you who don’t know.. it is an eastern suburb of Mumbai about 50-odd kilometres away from my house! And WHY would I ever want to go to Badlapur? Simple answer.. I was house hunting.. not for myself.. but let me tell you a story..

Flashback to 1958 (before I was even born) when my parents lived in a joint family with my paternal grandfather (Dadaji), uncle (Kaka and his family) in a three room house at Nana Chowk. Children came along and the families started growing and a shortage of space made life difficult. Dadaji told my parents they had to move out and offered to buy them a sea facing flat at Marine Drive.. but Daddy refused because what we know as Marine Drive today was a desolate lonely almost scary place to live back then!

In the “good old days” as we fondly refer to them, the Parsis were (as they still are) a highly respected and looked up to community! Dadaji found a Parsi owned building (Pil Court) on what was earlier called as Queen’s Road and rented a flat on the ground floor for my parents. The building had small gardens in front and at the side which were beautifully kept and once every month, young “chokra boys” were hired to WASH it with soap and water – inside and out! As time went by, they shifted to the fifth floor.. and finally to the fourth floor to the house where I live even today!

Growing up.. ownership of the building changed hands.. the hardworking“chokra boys” became a distant memory.. and we moved from tenancy into ownership! I still remember the look of quiet pride and satisfaction on Daddy’s face when he showed me the society share certificate with his name on it! Having your OWN house is a tremendous thing.. especially in a city like Mumbai! Huge milestone achieved for any head of a family.. to ensure that the spouse and children have their OWN roof over their heads!

My very industrious Man Friday (Kishore to all those of you who know him) had spoken to Daddy and me perhaps ten or more years ago and had expressed a desire to possess a small home in the city.. with some help from us! Somehow with life hurtling along at it’s pace, Daddy didn’t get a chance to do anything about it.. but he DID tell me to do the needful for my staff – all of whom we consider family!

Girl Friday would like a home in Badlapur to be able to be close to her family and off we went.. by airconditioned car and it took us TWO hours to get there! Driving through the suburbs drove home the fact of how blessed I am that Daddy had the foresight, ability, opportunity and wherewithal to buy a home in South Mumbai! After looking at various flats there and driving another two and a half hours to get home, I have a renewed respect for everyone who commutes daily to work (by TRAIN).. and don’t think I will EVER have the heart to ask my part-timer why she’s late to work!

We tend to expect our staff to commute.. be absolutely punctual to work.. do their job with a smile on their faces and talk politely.. be presentable and nicely dressed as well and that too - every single day! Seriously? They are HUMAN.. as human as we are.. and perhaps a little bit more because they’re fighting crazy odds just to survive.. every single day!!

This whole thing has been an experience and more than that, a lesson in gratitude, humility and sensitivity. All the way back from Badlapur I was just thanking Daddy and blessing him for seeing to it that I have my OWN roof over my head.. and that this is a privilege and blessing that everyone should ideally have!

To sum it up in the immortal words of Marvin Gaye:

“For I'm the type of boy
Who is always on the roam
Wherever I lay my hat
That's my home
I'm telling you, that's my home”

 

ON TEACHER'S DAY.. gratitude!!

The youth of today make their career choices fairly early in life.. mainly because they have multiple options available! Today's youngsters can choose to be pretty much whatever they want.. provided of course that they score the (seemingly) impossibly high grades demanded by various much sought-after institutions and ruling committees!! 

In retrospect.. my generation had far more limited options.. the really bright students took Science and became doctors or engineers.. the second tier took Commerce and the minimally academic minded (like me) took Arts from where it was a foregone conclusion that girls would either marry or become teachers!

The circumstances under which I became a teacher were slughtly different.. after trying my hand at advertising (and finding it too "fake") I realized that I needed to learn something and DO somwthing that would "make a difference" to people's lives! Social work was never my cup of tea.. and I was too much "Papa's Princess" to do an eight hour day.. very clearly I needed weekends off and adequate time to travel.. so teaching was my best option!

I signed up for and secured admission to a post-graduate Diploma (no degree course was available) in Early Childhood Education (Nursery Tracher's Training)! People assume that I LOVE little children and thats why I chose teaching.. honesty demands that I confess that I liked little children as much as the average person.. but I always found the process by which children learn fascinating and so..

Pitchforked into an intensely gruelling two year course that had been compressed and condensed into a one year programme was exhausting to say the least! I seriously contemplated giving it up more than once.. but the sheer joy of being in the classroom paired with the fun of getting to do something new different and creative on a daily basis kept me grounded focused and loving it!

After giving this profession a solid twenty five years.. I say with pride that it has given me so much more than I have given it.. In return for dedication hard work sleepless nights and being constantly mentally challenged.. I got sunny smiles.. bonecrushing hugs and daily opportunities to be a "magician" and see "wonder filled eyes"!

It taught me patience tolerance sympathy and empathy.. to be a good listener without judging.. to be able to look at situations from the child's point of view.. It taught me that I am accountable for my smallest action and most importantly.. it taught me that it's okay to make mistakes and that I didn't NEED to know the answer to every question! (Now there's Google but back then it was Daddy and the World Book Encyclopedia)!

Teaching and being a facilitator of learning brought alive to me the fact that "You have a very responsible job in this place/classroom/school/world.. if ANYTHING goes wrong.. YOU are responsible!" Learning to be super organized.. preparing in advance.. "a thing for everything and everything in it's place" and listening to understand instead of listening to reply.. phrasing less than positive words in a positive way and keeping my sense of humour intact no matter what are just a few of the many invaluable life lessons that I learned along the way! 

Today when I look back.. my heart overflows with gratitude for all the wonderful magical moments.. for all that I have learned - to give and to receive.. time energy and knowledge.. unconditional acceptance.. honesty and integrity.. wonderful  colleagues.. inspiring teachers.. strength and most of all.. the capacity to love! 

Older and a little wiser now.. I know that everyone in our life is a teacher and comes when we need them to.. "When the student is ready.. the teacher appears" and it is up to us to create the most meaningful interactions and be lifelong learners!

Heartfelt thanks and deepest gratitude to all the children parents.and teachers whose lives I have been privileged to be a small part of.. for the faith and trust you have reposed in me.. and the hope that I have fulfilled my responsibilities and lived up to your expectations! 

To everyone else.. thank you for everything that without your teaching me.. I have gained and learned from you.. whether you are friends.. family.. staff.. neighbours.. financial advisors.. Thank you for being blessings in my life and know that I am deeply grateful and let's keep learning feom and teaching each other!

As always.. thank you for reading and wishing you a very Happy Teacher's Day!!

Do remember to add your name at the end of your comment (should you choose to write one)..

MIRACLE OF THE HUMAN BODY.. every little part matters!!

As most of you know.. I fell down in Dubai and fractured the ring finger of my right hand on the 3^rd of August! Luckily God was kind (as always) and I was with close friends who took me to the hospital.. were incredibly thoughtful and took the greatest care of me through it all.. Thank you so very much Suhas and Medha!

The ring finger of the right hand.. doesn’t seem like a big deal right? Wrong? Super wrong! The struggles and challenges of the last 24 days have convinced me that the human body is truly a miracle in motion in which every part does it’s duty and is truly indispensable!

When I used to teach in pre-school.. there was a song about all the fingers and it went like this.. “Thumbkin he can dance.. Thumbkin he can sing.. Thumbkin he can dance.. and Thumbkin he can sing.. We all go merrily up together.. We all come merrily down together.. We all clap hands.. we all clap hands!” and so on for “Pointer” (index) “Tall Man” (middle) and “baby” (little) and this was sung with accompanying smiles and happy actions.. Surprisingly in the song when it came to “Ring Man” (ring) it went “Ring Man he can’t dance and Ring Man he can’t sing.. Ring Man he can’t dance and Ring Man he can’t sing.. We don’t go merrily up together.. we don’t come merrily down together.. We don’t clap hands.. we don’t clap hands”! This particular verse is sung with sad faces and I have experienced firsthand why..

When my middle finger and ring finger were taped together (buddy taping in medical parlance”.. it meant needing to keep the buddy taping dry.. typing a plastic bag over my hand while bathing.. needing my helper to scrub my back and wash my arms and left hand.. It meant feeling awkward and clumsy while performing even the simplest of tasks.. It meant having to focus with full concentration and attention while signing a cheque..

Most of us agree that food is comfort but with a fractured ring finger that didn’t hold true.. It meant not being able to enjoy the simple joy of breaking a roti and scooping up sabzi with it.. it meant not being able to savour the inexplicable joy of eating “dal-chaawal” with your hands.. Indian food is not meant to be eaten with forks knives and spoons! If it’s finger licking good.. it’s GOT to be eaten with the fingers!

I realized that it’s important to try and be ambidextrous with simple things like texting on your cellphone.. eating with a spoon.. taking a tablet.. pouring a glass of water.. Most of us allow our dominant hand to dominate completely (and I am guilty of this too) and when we get into a situation like this.. everything becomes very difficult! I had to made a genuine effort to be patient and not berate myself for being clumsy and slow while doing things!

Although the prescribed 4 weeks of the “buddy taping” weren’t up yet (three days short) I got an x-ray done today and FINALLY the doctor agreed to remove it since the healing is complete! Mere words are woefully inadequate to express the jot I felt when I saw my fingers again.. and looking perfectly normal this evening! I FELT “whole and complete” once again which was such a lovely feeling!

Taking a shower without help.. getting dressed completely on my own.. being able to take my clothes out of the cupboard by myself.. tying and untying my shoelaces.. writing a birthday card to a friend.. and finally.. being able to type this blog WITHOUT pain or discomfort are just a few of the blessings I have experienced today! Heartfelt gratitude to Dr. Mohit Kukreja for his care treatment and kindness.. to my helper Savita who has been a rock solid help and support the past many days.. to my friend Lavina who took me to Swati Snacks to celebrate getting my fingers back.. and to everyone who expressed care and concern for my wellbeing!

I was super lucky not to fall on my head spine or knee and got off relatively lightly with just a fractured finger.. What has been interesting is how much this experience has taught me to be kinder more patient with others as well as myself.. since a number of activities were restricted it gave me a great deal of time to do some serious soul searching.. and in the bargain.. I got some insights about myself that I could have possibly missed had I been on the usual merry-go-round that is called my life!

Deepest gratitude to my parents for building a strong constitution that ensured a speedy recovery and for the comfort of being to avail of the best medical care available! A solemn promise to myself to slow down.. look where I walk.. be careful.. and lots of excitement since I’m going to my “HAPPY PLACE”.. THE Willingdon Club swimming pool tomorrow! Am never going to take my body for granted again.. and neither should you!

Thank you as always for reading and do add your name at the end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!!

RAKSHABANDHAN.. because we need protection!

India has a plethora of festivals.. and most of them are rooted in religion.. filled with colour music and bonhomie galore.. They are happy occasions to dress up in our fanciest finery.. eat well.. give to the needy and celebrate in every way possible!

Today is a special festival.. it is Rakshabandhan.. a day that celebrates the bond that brothers share with their sisters.. that honours sibling love.. that demands a promise from brothers to protect their sisters.. and "be there" for them through thick and thin!

No matter how hard I (and most girls and women in the country) try.. I can't get the young doctor in Kolkata.. the raped ravaged and brutally murdered victim out of my mind! Am not saying ALL men are monsters.. but speaking for myself.. i CAN NOT even in my wildest dreams think of tying a "rakhi" on anyone's wrist.. not today or ever..

Having been the victim of deliberate and targeted physical violence earlier and almost a victim of the 26/11 terror attack.. I now have an inherent abhorrence to all acts of violence whether spontaneous or premeditated.. Rape and murder are not just desecrations of the body but also of the mind heart and soul.. and it is truly heartbreaking!

We live supposedly in a democracy that is supposed to support equality.. in a so-called developing country.. and heinous crimes like these are being perpetuated just too often! It is just NOT acceptable that these things should happen again and again and become more and more grisly and gory as time goes by.. 

Rakshabandhan is about protection.. and we all need it.. from negative thoughts.. negative energies.. negative people.. and all that makes us feel uncomfortable uneasy and unsure.. We live in times that are intimidating to say the least..

A "rakhi" is merely a glorified piece of string.. and can break very easily and the promise it represents can break even more easily! Mutual respect.. genuine affection and an unspoken promise to understand support and accept the other person (sibling.. parent.. child.. friend or colleague) is much more meaningful.. 

Make a promise to yourself today to protect YOURSELF first.. because only when your "safety parachute" is strapped on can you possibly help anyone else! Keep your PINs and passwords secret.. don't share too many details about your personal life on social media.. and live a simple life with limited social interaction.. 

Take comfort and solace in the fact that all of us have God's divine protection and always will.. and we will be protected and taken care of always! All we need to do is pray.. be kind.. be grateful and count our blessings! 

Happy Rakshabandhan!! 

(Thank you for reading and do feel free to share your name if you choose to write a comment.)

THE UNBRIDLED JOY OF DOING NOTHING.. for yourself!

Confession being good for the soul.. I must admit to being a “hyper person” and a “perfectionist” every now and then.. actually most of the time to be honest! There is this “keeda” inside me that makes me want to be DOING something all the time! I seriously envy friends who can “chill” all day on a Sunday.. maybe the maximum effort being made would be watching a movie or two on Netflix..

What I want to know is.. how? How? HOW? How can anyone get through an entire day doing absolutely nothing?! Don’t these people feel the slightest twinge of “guilt” about whiling away the entire day without achieving anything? Does it make them happy? Is it actually possible to enjoy it?! Nothing like experiencing it first-hand right? Right!

Am going off to my weekend home (haven actually) in Lonavala.. and have decided that this time.. I am NOT going to be the restaurant suggester.. the menu planner.. the social organizer.. the entertainment person.. Am really tired after a crazy hectic birthday and social month and just want to put my feet up and CHILL (as the kids of today say)!

After hearing SO MANY people wax eloquent about the charms and joys of doing nothing.. it is a sort of alien concept that I certainly would like to experience if only just once! Being a more than slightly addicted (to fun) personality, the only imminent danger is that I might actually LOVE it and want to do it on numerous occasions!

My mind is racing in so many directions all at the same time.. how will the time pass? In anticipation of some quiet time am carrying my spanking brand new Kindle (birthday gift from a very dear friend) and hoping to “rekindle” my passion for reading! There’s a charger safely packed to make sure we have super music on my Bluetooth speaker.. a few interesting munchies to nibble on while interesting conversations about life, love and everything in between are happening!

I am visualizing myself sitting outdoors on my patio.. looking at the beautiful Buddha statue.. listening to my “inner voice” and letting my thoughts flow wherever they want! The friends accompanying me are constantly telling me to “slow down and relax” and that will translate into somone else cutting the fruit.. making the green tea.. setting and clearing the table for meals.. and generally pampering me!

Some contemplation has resulted in the conviction that I AM exhausted and really need to rest before I burn out! Too much fun can be exhausting which has been a bit of a shocking truth that has dawned on me at the ripe old age of 61 years.. sad but unfortunately very true! Now it’s time to take a few days off.. catch up on my reading.. on my sleep.. and on cleaning up the photo gallery on my phone which is pretty much bursting at the seams!

Truth be told.. I am actually looking forward to NOT doing anything much.. to NOT having a plan.. to NOT having to decide menus and most of all.. to NOT having to answer multiple questions! I’m going to do my darndest to rest.. relax.. and take it easy so let’s see how it goes! It is a wonderful opportunity to sort out a few things in my mind.. and allow my deepest thoughts and feelings to come to the surface! All of us are pretty much “running on the treadmill” all the time and we all NEED to slow down once in a while!

This is going to be a refreshing change for me to actually be doing something primarily for myself.. most of the time.. I’m the one running around trying to put “sunshine” in my favourite people’s lives.. this time it’s about being my own pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! AND there’s going to be NO GUILT about anything!!

In the wonderful words of Doris Day..

“Que Sera Sera.. Whatever will be will be.. Will I be happy? Will I be restless?” Here’s what I say to me.. “Que Sera Sera.. I’m now completely ready to embrace and enjoy everything that comes to me!!”

Thank you so much for reading and do add your name at the end of your comment!

 

 

 

COUNTING MY BLESSINGS.. all through the day!!

Most of us live crazy busy lives.. and are deluded into thinking that the world will come to an end if we don’t do all the things we need to do.. and that we’re indispensable because no one else can do things the way we do them!

Being accused of being a perfectionist (with a fair degree of truth it must be admitted) I was guilty of thinking and feeling the same way! However, as the saying goes so truly that “life happens while you’re planning otherwise” and that’s exactly what happened with and to me too!

I spent an idyllic week long holiday with some of my closest friends in Abu Dhabi and Dubai.. walking.. swimming.. shopping eating.. chatting.. laughing.. and generally spending quality time together! What could be more perfect right? Into every life some rain must fall.. and so it was with me!

Walking out of a store in Mall of the Emirates (or MoE as the locals affectionately refer to it) I really don’t know what happened – it was literally like.. one minute I was walking.. and the next minute I lost my balance and knew I was falling! Luckily I realized and was able to turn to the left and make sure I fell on my thigh (instead of my knee or ankle) and “broke” my fall by stretching out my right palm!

God’s grace that I saw stars.. but was able to stand up in two minutes.. but the ring finger on my right hand was swelling by the minute! I managed to get the ring on my middle finger off but my ring finger was impossible since it was rapidly resembling a little balloon.. and hurting like mad! Things always seem better and more manageable on a full stomach so despite my friends insistence on going to a hospital we ate a delicious lunch (with my right hand submerged in a bowl of ice and water) before heading back to the hotel..

My friend Rina who lives in Dubai suggested we go to Medcare hospital and off we went! The team at Medcare was kindness itself from the receptionist to the nurse doctor radiologist and pharmacist! They had to CUT the ring off my finger which was excruciatingly painful but my friends Suhas and Medha were right there.. holding my hand patiently absorbing tight squeezes and maybe even some digging of nails into the skin! I was absolutely cosseted once we got back to the hotel and they were both super concerned and caring in the extreme! Between them, they packed my bags.. combed my hair.. helped me get ready.. and were the epitome of care and consideration!

Once I got back to Mumbai and met my doctor who luckily removed the plaster cast and changed it to a buddy taping, I was much more comfortable! Able to think.. the saying “too blessed to be stressed” hit me like a ton of bricks! Counting my blessings of solid friends through thick and thin.. sufficient resources to be able to afford quality medical care.. a lovely hotel.. a local friend who was out of the way resourceful and helpful.. minimal discomfort.. a wheelchair at both airports.. AND a phenomenal attendant at Mumbai airport who whizzed us through Customs without even having to put a single bag through the x-ray machine!

Am just so incredibly grateful for a helper who smilingly helps me with a bath everyday.. for simple and delicious food on the table.. for enough help and support (from my staff)  that gives me enough rest when I need it.. a comfortable home and so many friends who are praying for a quick recovery.. calling to check on me.. and just letting me know that they really care.. and that I really matter!

Counting my blessings through the day has become a default now.. and is something we should all do.. It keeps us grounded and aware of how inter-reliant we all are on each other.. and that truly “no man is an island” and we need to co-exist in happiness and harmony with each other to lead fulfilling and peaceful lives!

God bless.. thank you for reading.. and do remember to add your name at the end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!!

 

ON GURU PURNIMA.. Who is a guru?

A number of people in Mumbai.. and all over India and the world for that matter.. are very busy today! The reason for this is that today is Guru Purnima.. a day on which we get a special opportunity to acknowledge appreciate thank and revere our “gurus” for all that they do for and with us!

When I read about and contemplate as to who and what a real guru is.. in our tradition.. a real guru is regarded as the Divine himself.. A guru is the one who by his inner power can dispel darkness and lead the initiate to the realm of Light Truth and Bliss..

A guru, in many traditions and ways of life is often seen as a source of wisdom guidance and inspiration. He or she is someone who helps people on the path to spiritual growth and enlightenment, helping them overcome obstacles in their path which may come in the form of ego ignorance etc..

To my mind.. a guru is a blessing who guides us gently on how to live the best quality life we can.. who demonstrates how to raise our level of compassion.. who explains why it is so important to learn what our soul lesson is in life.. how to listen to our “inner voice” so enable us to awaken our “higher self” and connect with our soul..

To find a guru is a true blessing and I have been both.. fortunate and blessed to experience this joy.. and my guru speaks fluent English.. is fully updated on world affairs.. has an all-encompassing wisdom about the essence of life.. is always willing to share these pearls of wisdom when the time is “right” (generously seasoned with a wicked sense of humour) and has an unshakeable faith in the Divine Master! My guru keeps me in prayer protection and it is like wearing an Invisibility Cloak of armour that both repels and dispels any less than positive energies that may be directed my way..

Having a guru keeps me grounded and firmly rooted.. raises my levels of faith.. positive energy and makes me want to keep striving to be a better human being! It is a pure and beautiful relationship and one that is truly essential in order to live a high quality spiritual life and deepen soul growth..

I love honour and cherish this human being beyond infinity and only hope I am able to learn what I should and can (in spite of the fact that a great deal of the growing and understanding has to be “caught” rather than “taught” and “earned” before it is “learned”)!

Wishing you all the joy of finding a guru who is not just your spiritual guide.. but also a friend and philosopher.. a life coach.. a spiritual and emotional bodyguard and someone who fills every empty space in your life with exactly what you need at this moment in time..

God bless and wishing you a very happy Guru Purnima!!

 

The Happiness Index.. always keep it "way up there"!!

Happiness is such a precious state of being.. of feeling.. of emotion.. and that’s the reason why we are consciously (or subconsciously) chasing it all the time!

What does it take for us to be happy? Is it the big things like buying a new home.. a designer watch.. the latest cell phone.. or the slightly more everyday things like getting an unexpected financial windfall.. doing well in an exam.. assembling the perfect bhel.. or then..

Is it the (seemingly) little things that we take completely for granted like a peaceful night’s sleep.. the prayers that are answered and the inner voice that gives us expert guidance as we navigate our day to day lives?

I travelled recently to Bhutan and they have one of the highest “Happiness Indexes” in the world and experienced firsthand why it is so.. There is no competition or aggression.. imagine being in a country for eleven days and spending a fair amount of time on the road without hearing a single horn being honked! People are simple and straightforward.. they say what they mean and the mean what they say!

My friend lost her phone and was really panicked until our guide and driver told her “Don’t worry.. if a local person has found it you will definitely get it back”.. SO MUCH faith in their fellow countrymen! Needless to say, she did get her phone back and the shopkeeper apologized for the delay in answering our calls since he was busy with customers!

What do we need to keep our “happiness index” why up there? When you stop to think about it - actually very little.. On the surface of it.. a good meal.. close friendships.. a steady job.. and fun plans to go weekend shopping with perhaps a holiday or two every year seem like more than enough.. but is it really? My answer is a resounding NO!!

Maybe reaching the ripe old age of 60 has done it.. maybe meeting some special people who are a big part of my spiritual growth journey has done it.. maybe beginning to be able to recognize energies has done it.. maybe the wisdom of becoming a senior citizen has done it.. but I have understood that in order to be truly happy.. we need more.. much more of the things that money can’t buy!

Speaking for myself.. what I need is to be surrounded by people whose energy is positive.. who are generous with their acceptance and understanding.. who have a sense of humour that’s really funny.. some nice music.. basic homecooked food that’s prepared with love.. opportunities to travel to interesting places.. quality friendships.. inspiring conversations with deep sharing and plenty of “me time” to rest.. recharge and recalibrate!

Waking up this morning to a cloudy and grey day with pouring rain made me super happy.. the perfect weather to sit quietly and sip something hot.. to relax and “slow down”.. to not feel the need to make a “to do” list.. What is happiness made up of if not these little joys?

In conclusion.. it takes so little to make us happy that it is such a pity that in a world full of such beautiful things.. lovely places and wonderful people.. there should still be good people who are unhappy.. have tears in their eyes and pain in their hearts! So wake up.. open your eyes.. listen to your inner voice and do whatever it takes to make and keep your soul and yourself happy in the truest sense of the word!

In the immortal words of Denis Waitley “Happiness cannot be travelled to.. owned.. earned.. worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love grace and gratitude”!

P.S. Thank you for reading and please remember to leave your name at the end of your comment.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to all the Daddies!

Father.. Daddy.. Papa.. Abba.. Dad.. Bapaji.. Call him what you will.. but he’s still be the same.. your fiercest protector.. your biggest cheerleader.. your dearest friend.. your first philosopher and your bestest life coach.. He’s still the centre of your Universe.. and always your guiding star!

Fathers are the ones who pick us up when we “fall”.. physically morally emotionally and spiritually.. They are the ones who believe in us so much that we start to believe in ourselves.. They set the bar high and encourage us to strive harder and achieve.. they are also the taskmasters who lead by example and are the proudest and most generous with rewards and praise when we succeed..

As the Bournvita ad stated so emphatically.. “My Daddy strongest!!” and I believe in that so completely! Everyone who knows me knows that I’ve always been and always will be “Daddy’s little girl” (albeit all grown up now)! Every girl’s father and “perfect man” is invariably her Dad and I am no exception to the rule.. The perception may change as we grow up and form our own opinions but for me at least.. it has remained quintessentially the same!

When my parents were expecting me, he was super keen to have a little girl to pamper and when he read that the Queen of England had Welsh Corgi dogs for her children, he placed an ad in the paper for one and bought it for a considerable amount! When I arrived after a particularly trying and difficult pregnancy and delivery.. it was love at first sight to say the least! He made up special songs for me and would insist that Mummy bring me to the phone and put it to my ear when he called.. often in the middle of a working day!

I remember so clearly him being a very involved father who actively participated in my upbringing.. from waking me up in my pyjamas to long weekend drives (to Lonavala, Poona, Mahabaleshwar etc.. to singalong sessions of old and new family favourites in English, Hindi, Gujarati and Bengali in the car.. and playing a funny game called “Name Place Animal Thing” verbally..

As a little girl I was taken out of town very often (and hence am a true slave to the travel bug until the present day) and was made to stay at a variety of places.. from dharamshalas to circuit houses to small hotels and fancy ones.. no complaints were ever entertained and I was told to learn to “be happy wherever I was and with whatever I had”.. a lesson I am grateful for to this day!

Whenever we went to small nondescript restaurants and bigger ones too, I was given pencil and paper and told to read the menu and correct whatever spelling grammatical and punctuation mistakes there were (a portent that I would become a teacher?!).. out of the question to think I would be permitted to be a noisy brat who ran around shouting and disturbing anyone!

Daddy was a weirdly wonderful mixture of firm disciplinarian and indulgent parent.. a funny clown to an intellectual conversationalist.. He was the one who introduced me to his bar at the age of 17 and wanted to see my capacity for and tolerance of alcohol at home before I overdid it and collapsed or made a spectacle of myself in public.. he encouraged close friendships with boys and had a reputation for being the most “chilled out and cool Dad”!

He was a martinet when it came to personal hygiene and neatness and pocket money was judiciously dispensed on Saturday mornings after writing table inspection.. cupboard inspection and bedroom inspection was carried out and approved of! I remember when he took me on a 10 day “training holiday” to New York and Los Angeles (I was 13 years old) and taught me how to check and choose a hotel room.. place an order at a restaurant and book airline tickets! Another blessing in disguise..

On my 10^th birthday (getting into the double digits so very exciting and special) I wanted the Barbie Town House.. he bought it for me along with two big cartons containing abridged editions of all the classics that he wanted me to read.. from Charles Dickens to Emily Bronte to What Katy Did to Louisa May Alcott and a whole lot more besides! There was a complaint about untidy handwriting from school so the daily task was two pages of copywriting from ANY book along with a discussion about what I had written!

Daddy was everything in the world to me.. and I have inherited some wonderful things from him.. my love for reading.. my vocabulary.. my willingness to experiment with food.. my passion for travel.. my borderline OCD of constantly wanting to clean up and organize things properly.. AND some bad things like a nasty temper (which I have learned to control now) and the inability to suffer fools (gladly or otherwise)!

Any way I look at it, I feel truly blessed to have had him for so many years (and most daughters would feel the same way) so Happy Father’s Day to you and heartfelt thanks.. the biggest hugs and all my love to you always Daddy!

This post would be incomplete without thanking a few very special gentlemen who have “filled” some of the gaps that Daddy’s passing away created in my life.. with their personal affection.. professional expertise.. invaluable advice and so much more.. Super blessed to have you in my life Porus.. Pravin.. Rajeev.. Manish.. Senu.. Vishi.. Ashok.. Suhas.. Deepak.. and of course my very special GKG!

Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed reading this blog! Do please remember to include your name after writing your comment! God bless always!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHEN THE WEATHER IS SULTRY.. BE DESULTORY!

Mumbai is having a real humdinger of a summer this year.. the way it usually does.. I.. for one.. am exasperated with everyone perpetually mouthing the same three little (and highly unromantic) words “It’s so hot”! You know what? We are in the month of May.. and it is SUPPOSED to be hot.. sweaty and sultry.. So now what?! DEAL with it!

Energy levels are low.. enthusiasm levels are even lower.. and you’re borderline exhausted all the time! What is the best thing to do? When the weather is sultry.. BE desultory! I rarely preach what I haven’t practised and this blog is no exception to the rule..

After a fairly hectic and tiring week of socializing.. running innumerable errands and a bit of travel thrown in.. last night I decided that THIS Sunday I would be desultory! People who know me well accuse me (with a fair amount of truth) of being “hyper and on the go all the time” and I accept that to be the truth.. and decided to take a break!

I texted my one and only “last minute plan making” friend last night and said I just wanted to be with myself today.. instructed my staff NOT to disturb or wake me up this morning and went to sleep around midnight.. An unwelcome thirst urge woke me up at 5:30 and I promptly retreated under the covers only to surface at a joyous 9:40 am.. which is an inexpressible joy for someone who surfaces between 5 and 6 am on a daily basis otherwise!

There was no pressing “to do” list today.. but after a healthy breakfast I showered.. washed my hair.. and decided to lounge around the house in a nightie all day! Man Friday had been casting reproachful looks at me all week conveying his wordless disapproval of the chaotic state of my handbag and sundries cupboard.. I decided to pay heed and ease his misery so asked him to empty half of it and place the contents on my bed.. and almost had a minor heart attack when I saw HOW MUCH STUFF needed to be sifted through.. sorted and put away! Calmed myself down and got started and it was all done in a little over an hour.. and the feeling of ACHIEVEMENT when I finished was reward enough!

After a simple lunch I ambled around the house tidying up a few things here and there and then promptly went to sleep! To wake up knowing that you don’t HAVE to do anything or meet anyone is such a lovely feeling.. and this is what sultry (rainy muggy and cool) Sundays are made for! The whole sense of not making a plan.. not having a plan.. and doing the things that you like is so enjoyable!

A number of us are compulsively hell bent upon packing our week with work.. socializing.. running errands.. and “catching up” with things and people.. but I strongly urge you to try the method of “When the weather is sultry.. be desultory” at least one Sunday in the month.. it is an amazingly relaxing restorative and rejuvenating experience!

Having done something somewhat constructive and meaningful (by writing this blog) I will now make my way to the refrigerator for a glass of refreshing and rehydrating chilled coconut water.. and await your responses and comments on the blog (with your names at the end please)!

Have a wonderfully plan-free Sunday evening and as always.. thank you for your patience in reading!

 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.. to the one inside each one of us!!

Mother's Day.. another year has rolled by and it's here once more!

It's a dream day for Hallmark.. American Greetings.. Satyam Collections and a number of marketing professionals.. florists.. beauty salons.. spas and chocolatiers.. Cash registers are ringing incessantly and tokens of displaying love are being sold! The most sacred relationship in the world is shamelessly commercialized and everyone's participating.. be it out of love guilt and a host of other reasons.. Good luck and God bless to both.. the givers and receivers.. but this year I have a slightly different take on the whole concept of Mother's Day..

Who is a mother? A mother is someone who gives us complete acceptance and unconditional love.. the deepest understanding.. the one who is never judgemental.. who forgives mistakes and misbehaviour time after time.. who gently explains the difference between right and wrong.. A mother is the person who feeds your body mind and soul with positive thoughts.. who nurtures you and picks you up every time you stumble and fall.. who protects you from danger and negativity to keep you safe at all levels.. 

A mother is the person who has full faith in you and your capabilities and always believes that you're the best.. and definitely better than all the rest! She is your champion.. fan.. and your best friend.. philosopher and guide.. She is the one who brought you into the world and your lives are inextricably linked with a super strong and enduring bond of love! She listens to all your problems and challenges patiently.. motivates you to do your best and gives you the best advice which is exactly what you need to hear.. She is the one who stays awake all night when you are sick and doesn't rest until you recover.. and is selfless to the core!

A mother is a disciplinarian.. a moral compass.. a shining light.. a sheet anchor in times of difficulty and a beacon of enduring love who makes our lives worthwhile.. She is the one who holds us together when we are falling apart and feels our pain as deeply as we do.. She is the one whose heart breaks when we have tears in our eyes.. and loves us more than is humanly possible to! She is our reason for being.. our wellspring of life.. and wears so many hats and does so much for us.. and we instinctively turn to her for guidance in every situation we and our families may face!

We depend on her for everything and she is the centre of our universe.. but time is relentless and marches on.. health problems develop.. mothers age and get tired.. the bodies slow down.. and sometimes the mind does as well.. She forgets things.. slowly is unable to support herself mentally and physically.. and ultimately.. the body gives up and she is no more.. Your world falls apart and you wonder how you will live without her.. you call her on speed dial.. only to realize that now you're on your own.. 

Devastated? Don't be.. you are your mother's child and she has passed on all her wisdom to you.. if you have chosen to receive it.. You have her strength resilience and spirit which is the wonderful legacy she has left you..  She has left because she knew you were ready to "awaken the mother inside you" and you were capable of living your life on your own.. with all the knowledge and skills you needed..

Your greatest tribute and deepest gratitude to your mother on Mother's Day is simply.. to BE everything to yourself that she was to you! Find it within yourself to cope with whatever life throws at you.. hold steady.. keep believing in yourself.. remain inspired by the memories and create your own legacy by being a nurturing loving "mother" to yourself and to the people you love in life.. friends.. and everyone who is hurting and going through their own "storm"! 

After all.. a mother's love is magical and we all need it!!

Happy Mother's Day to you!!

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR FRIENDS.. and yourself?

People fascinate me.. they always have and they always will.. I love that all of us are so unique and so completely different from each other.. while still being similar in so many ways! It’s one of the great mysteries of life to me.. how we all manage to coexist reasonably peacefully with each other!

I am fortunate to have friends and be on friendly terms with people across all age groups.. people in their 20s 30s 40s 50s 60s 70s and a few in their 80s as well.. It is such fun interacting with this variety of people and having some really interesting conversations with them.. I invariably come back having learned something from them.. usually a small pearl of wisdom or else a major life lesson!

Getting to know younger people (in the 20s and 30s) is like a window into the future with a lot of fresh thinking.. creative ideas.. not always the most practical but very stimulating indeed! Their perspectives are always wider since the world is truly their oyster and “everything goes”.. at least in theory!

Those in their 40s and 50s are for the most part.. ambitious and hardworking.. have their goals – career.. social and financial very much in place and are working according to plan to achieve the same! They work hard and play harder.. love checking out new restaurants.. travelling to places off the beaten track.. and are very open to new experiences..

People in their 60s (like me) are the ones who aren’t exactly YOUNG anymore.. but having said that.. aren’t really OLD either! A number of us start feeling and talking about how “we just don’t have the energy we had last year anymore” like 60 is this big bad “monster” that has taken over our minds and bodies completely! The truth be told, it’s not completely true.. but it isn’t bullshit either!

Everyone slows down at a certain point in time.. and that’s a function of age! The way I look at it is.. okay.. so if the body is lowing down a little.. modify the lifestyle to accommodate it.. If you can’t gym anymore.. go and swim.. if you can’t swim anymore.. then start walking.. and if you can’t walk anymore.. stay home and do gentle stretching and breathing..

KNOW your body.. mind.. heart and soul.. Take out time for yourself and accept that things will keep changing internally and they may manifest externally as well.. Physical symptoms and problems can be treated by the doctor but what about the vague formless uncomfortable feelings of restlessness anxiety and lack of interest?

Are you spending enough time with yourself to know what is causing you emotional stress? Prayer can help but self-love.. introspection and awareness are the key.. Sometimes I’m on the go from morning to evening and think I’m getting so much accomplished and still end the day feeling depleted and “empty” even though everything on my “to do” list has been ticked off.. Not a good thing right?

We all magically acquire tremendous and universal wisdom when it comes to knowing how other people should lead their lives and are always ready to be “Mr. or Ms. Fix It” with all the answers.. but have we ever sat down and analyzed what WE like.. love.. hate.. and may want to change in our OWN lives? Something to ponder on because all the answers are within us.. if only we are ready to face them and acknowledge them (even against our will)..

Just sharing something personal.. am on a mission to eat healthy.. control my temper.. acquire some patience.. modify my lifestyle.. and basically “get my act together” and am pretty much committed to this.. Admirable right? Yes, but although I’m walking the “straight and narrow” there has been a feeling of “stagnation” for almost a couple of weeks now and it was really bothering me!

I just couldn’t pinpoint what was causing it and a friend told me this morning “I know exactly what it is.. you’re getting antsy because you haven’t travelled anywhere in over two months!” Restless soul that I am, I realized that she hit the bullseye and am now happy because I’m now thinking about where to go and what to see! No concrete plans yet.. but what fun to have something I love to look forward to!

Does this mean I don’t know myself? Of course not.. but sometimes you just can’t see the forest for the trees.. and that’s absolutely fine! Now that I know WHAT a big part of me travel IS.. will simply make sure I do enough of it to keep me buoyant.. upbeat and in “Little Miss Sunshine” mode!!

P.S. Please write your name at the end of your comment.. it’s just annoying that Blogspot doesn’t display it automatically!! Thank you so much for reading everyone!!