LIFE - is a jigsaw puzzle so don't allow for missing pieces!

All of us have days when we wake up.. think about the day ahead.. and want to just burrow into the bedclothes and go right back to sleep.. right? Days when we feel overwhelmed.. anxious and maybe just plain and simple stressed about.. days where the fate of something or someone important lie in the balance.. days when we are worried or hassled..

These are invaluable moments because they FORCE us to stop in our tracks.. both - mental and emotional.. and take stock of where we are versus where we want to be.. and need to be.. We get so caught up in completing our "to do" lists.. and getting through the mundane seemingly essential daily tasks that we often stop listening to the little voice at the back of our heads that's gently whispering to us to take it easy.. slow down.. and be kind to ourselves! 

That gentle whisper gets ignored.. the feelings keep simmering.. we keep suppressing them.. the whisper gains momentum and before we know it.. it's escalated into a full-blown cry for mercy and help.. AND.. we feel like everything's crashing down around us! Time to pause.. reset.. analyze and understand what's going on.. and recalibrate our lives!

A great analogy (according to me) is saying that life is like a jigsaw puzzle.. our lives are made up of friends family work fun health happiness hobbies travel etc.. and jigsaw puzzles are made up of corner pieces.. and pieces of various colours.. each piece independent and having it's own "place" and each one essential to "completing" the picture at the end! 

There are a number of what are popularly referred to as four-letter words and some of them aren't always the most pleasant ones.. but there is another whole list of much more important four-letter words which we need to be aware of and they are : grow.. able.. rest.. flow.. calm.. work.. fill.. with.. home.. and most of all.. LOVE!

Being career-minded and driven, a number of us tend to give too much of ourselves to work and the attendant stresses.. and who are the casualties of this? Friends.. family.. and most of all - ourselves! When our life boat gets rocky, we panic and don't know how to cope and think that the worst is going to happen! The dangerous part is when we start doubting ourselves and our self-worth plummets! 

Be aware.. identify your strengths and good qualities.. know how much "you bring to the table" at work and at home.. Make sure you spend time with your parents (if you're lucky enough to still have them).. hang out with your siblings and cousins.. share your desires aspirations and concerns with your spouse.. carve out "quality time" (mobile free) with your children and discuss what's going on in your head and heart with your friends.. 

We have unique relationships with everyone in our lives and we are all special to each other.. simply because NO ONE ELSE can mean what you mean to the other person and vice versa! ALL these people are vital parts of the puzzle and HOME is where you go at the end of the day to recharge, rejuvenate and get ready to face the world again tomorrow! 

Keep your "jigsaw puzzle" carefully in your head and heart.. cherish it.. and discover the pure joy that living an emotionally balanced life can bring.. it's one of the greatest blessings that we are empowered to create for ourselves.. and SO achievable! 

Stay aware.. blessed.. thinking.. feeling.. and connected!

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY TO SPECIAL PEOPLE!!

September 5th is and will always be one of the most special days in the year for me.. it is Teacher's Day and a reason to celebrate! I have written in an earlier blog about how I actually decided to become a teacher.. but when I sit and reflect, it is a great joy to have realized that nothing else could possibly have brought me this much pleasure! It's been 25 years of teaching and miraculous to look forward to going to work every single day! To be honest, teaching pre-school has to me.. always felt almost like getting paid to go.. be surrounded by positive energy.. and have a good time! Today am sharing some stories about the people who have inspired me and helped me become the teacher and person I am today.. 

This profession has brought some truly wonderful people into my life as well.. my Heads of Department and professors Jana Mahadevan.. Nalini Chugani and Nandita Jhaveri.. They saw my potential.. extracted as much as they could and constantly inspired me to always do more and give my best! Jana is even today a very dear friend and close to a mother figure.. Nalini is a quiet presence but all our interactions (even on WhatsApp) are both thoughtful and meaningful.. Nandita is highly creative and has a terrific sense of gentle humour so we share some great conversations as well.. and she often has a unique perspective on things which appeals to me tremendously! We are good friends and very much in touch even after all these years.. I know you are all reading this so please accept a heartfelt thank you for making my journey so memorable! 

After just two years of teaching, I was selected to conduct two workshops at a seminar on "Professionalism in Education" where I met the quietly brilliant Roshan Billimoria! She came to borrow a stapler from me.. we talked.. the seminar strangely enough, inspired me to write a poem.. that led to an invitation to lunch at her beautiful home.. and now we are friends forever! Roshan and I have a very strong karmic connection and serendipitiously similar things happen in both our lives around the same time.. give or take a week or two! She is quiet.. I am the chatterbox.. but we both draw positive energy and happiness from each other.. and she numbers among my closest friends! 

During the course I was with Ami Mody (now Thakker) who is hands down, the sweetest and gentlest person I know.. and the most patient teacher for sure! She has always been someone who believed in me and my abilities more than I myself ever did! A truly lovely friend who always participates in my wild enthusiasms (which have fortunately always been for the good) and done so whole-heartedly! Equally blessed to have met Alefia Zoomkawala who came to train at the Saifee nursery and became a willing partner in crime with Ami and me at Salaam Baalak Trust where we did English conversation with street children! Alefia also soft and gentle - and diametrically opposite to me personality-wise this trio proved that opposites attract and can work wonderfully together! Thank you both for also agreeing to be a part of the Palghar school project - hope it starts up soon! 

After one year of teaching with Sangeeta Patel (another darling who's a close friend) I was invited to teach at the Saifee nursery at Malabar Hill. I was lucky in my first year of teaching and supervising to meet Rohaina Kher who is a born teacher! She is very artistic, super creative and a perfectionist - and a reminder that "God is in the details".. have yet to meet a teacher who brings that much finesse to her work! Moving to Saifee nursery, I made three more lifelong friends - Anu Thyagarajan.. Sadhana Khagram.. and Renu Haksar! NOBODY in the world can tell a story like Anu can.. and even though she's in Singapore now, we talk pretty much every other day and can read each other's minds and take the words out of each other's mouths even today! She also happens to be my best friend! Sadhana is super organized and very patient with children (because she's basically very kindhearted) and Renu.. well.. Renu's a whole different story! Her son Rajat was in my class and she used to come to help voluntarily.. Rajat settled in school and would only come to me.. and I found in Renu a kindred spirit! She and I have had the most fun times conducting teacher workshops together too! We are both similar in being finicky.. perfectionists.. and OCD to the point where we were referred to as "Choi & Moi"! Have to mention that we share a super wacky sense of humour as well and can talk non-stop nonsense endlessly! Renu and I are very close.. each other's support system.. friends forever too and the day isn't complete for either of us until that last call at night takes place! 

There have been so many teachers with whom I have worked or even just become friends with including Vaishali Mehta (we had a super time at Bombay International School) who is creative to the last degree.. Kavita Khanna who is the most sincere and committed teacher I know.. Mana Mehta who is the best French teacher ever.. Manisha Desai who is a motherly and loving teacher.. Praneeta Varadarajan.. the children in her class never want to move on.. and there are so many more.. I could go on and on.. 

At a wider level, we learn from every person we meet and so are surrounded by teachers - in our homes and families.. from our friends in the workplace building and office.. and most of all.. our elders AND our children! 

Teaching means touching and transforming lives.. and to everyone mentioned above and a whole lot of others whose names don't appear but who still matter.. and are IMPORTANT.. AND SPECIAL.. Thank you for touching my life.. am truly blessed and grateful to know you all.. 

Here is my wish for you all on this most special day of 5th September.. 

To become a teacher is a joy and to be a teacher is a privilege! You get to be an important part of a child's formative years and a strong influence.. for better or worse! It's a huge responsibility and commitment that only a few genuine teachers can fulfil completely.. It means putting and keeping someone else's hopes dreams and desires ahead of your own on a constant basis.. It means being patient even when you don't feel like you can.. It means hard work and being genuine.. It means a listening ear and a helping hand.. It means "kissing it better" and the magic of a hug.. It means celebrating every little success.. It means being a subtle support who just enables things to (seemingly) happen "on their own".. It means having a "virtual" doctorate in crisis management.. and most of all.. it means.. being a magician-superpower-omnipresent-demigod-entertainer-and mini-Einstein all at the same time! It means you have been incredibly lucky to be given the opportunity to create and witness the "magic of learning" in front of your eyes!! 

God bless you for being a truly inspiring motivating and exceptional teacher!! Happy Teacher's Day!!

AM BECOMING ALLERGIC - AND SPREADING IT!!

"Some people can't function without negativity.. because bringing others down makes them feel better" - sad but true.. 

We all know people who not only live on negativity but thrive on it! Being on my own spiritual path of learning and self-growth.. it truly amazes me   as to how much hidden and open negativity we are surrounded by! What is even more unbelievable is how resilient the human spirit is.. we either accept it.. live with it.. ignore it.. or.. if we have taken the time and trouble to go within ourselves.. we decide to put it in the past and.. rise ABOVE it!

Easier said than done right? Absolutely.. but.. essential if you have to keep yourself happy positive and at peace with yourself and the world around you! If we allow the everyday stresses like road rage.. inefficient vendors.. unpunctual people.. uncooperative team members.. lazy staff or unpleasant relatives to occupy space in our heads (and sometimes our hearts) for more than a minute or two.. we are the sufferers! Why SHOULD we allow this? Is anything or anyone SO more important that we should ourselves to be adversely affected by their words or actions? Negative people will say or imply something negative and then go away after planting that seed in your mind.. are you going to water it and nurture it to fruition or just see it for what it is.. "pull it out".. and throw it away?

It has taken a number of experiences and great deal of pain for this realization to have taken place.. and it hasn't come easily either.. I have STAYED in friendships that were toxic and unhealthy simply because my "need to be needed" overcame my need to be happy! Even if the other person never called.. wasn't particularly kind or considerate.. it was so scary for me to think of being "without" them.. I would still "put up and shut up"! The "need to feel needed" was so overpowering that it kept me in an extremely toxic marriage until things got physically verbally and emotionally abusive and I FINALLY woke up to the realization that staying in the relationship could and would destroy me completely! Took a great deal of courage to decide to "walk out" but was supremely empowering when it finally ended! 

Ending friendships and relationships is a sad thing.. because we are human and by default we like to believe in the concept of "happily ever after"! I'm not saying be intolerant.. am sharing my experiences to try and empower people who are suffering to find the courage to take control of their situation and change it.. People are unreasonable.. strange.. difficult.. temperamental.. and all that is fine.. accept them for who they are without trying to change them.. BUT if they are unkind mean hurtful and negative.. RUN.. don't walk away! Trust and believe that you WILL find other friends to fill the gaps and that you deserve to and you WILL be happy without them! Don't be with people who are judgemental.. they are "energy vampires" and will suck you dry and move on to their next "victim" - and how do you know when this is happening and how will you stop it?

LOVE yourself and believe in yourself first of all - tell yourself that you are a clean pure and happy soul who believes in the essential goodness of human nature.. that you are worthy of respect and love.. that you are bright capable and strong.. The pandemic hasn't gone anywhere.. new waves are constantly looming threateningly on the horizon.. young fit and healthy people are dying all of a sudden.. and there is stress all around.. Choose to live in a self-created oasis of  happiness positivity and joy.. your life will transform into a continuing beautiful  celebration!

Just a few words of wisdom and caution to be heeded..

Cut negative people out of your life.. the people you spend time with influence your attitude and thoughts more than you think..

Negative people need drama like it is oxygen.. stay positive.. and take their breath away!

Don't chase people. Do your own thing and work hard. The right people.. the ones who really belong in your life.. will come.. and stay..

"You can't calm the storm.. so stop trying.. 

What you can do is calm yourself.. 

The storm will pass"

And finally.. just remember.. be allergic to negativity!! Be contagious so the people around you become that way as well!! Keep spreading the positivity and sunshine!!