HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY – YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN 93 TODAY!!

Bon anniversaire Papa! Feliz cumpleanos El Papito ! Selamat ulang tahun Papah saya! Gratulerer med lagen Min Papa! Any which way I try.. any country I visit.. any language I use.. French.. Italian.. Indonesian.. Norwegian.. every single 30^th of April.. my wishes for the happiest birthday ever remain the same to you Daddy!!

Ever since I could read and understand a calendar, the 30^th of April was always my MOST IMPORTANT day of the year! It was a day to celebrate you.. the wonderful dependable knowledgeable open motivating generous practical soft-hearted wise and hardworking you!

Birthday gifts would be wrapped.. birthday cards would be bought.. a birthday poem would be written.. a birthday cake would be ordered.. a birthday dinner at a fancy restaurant would be demanded (by me) and graciously hosted (by you).. birthday hugs and kisses would be showered upon you until you almost begged for mercy from the veritable onslaught of love!!

In retrospect, it couldn’t have been easy for you.. a man who wasn’t openly demonstrative with your affection.. to have a daughter that was a complete walking and  talking hugs-and-kisses demanding machine! Now that I’m older and wiser, am both - amazed and amused at the things that you’ve done (out of choice) and had to do (out of compulsion) just because I was (and always will be) your darling daughter!

Let’s flashback to just a little over four years ago when you were in hospital.. Dr. Gandhi had told me that you weren’t going to make it.. and that I should call friends and family who would like to meet you to the hospital.. and so I did.. You were way too smart not to figure out why so many people (some of whom you hadn’t seen in years even) were coming to meet you.. but with your usual common sense and amiability.. met them graciously and spoke to them all.. gave stock market recommendations.. opined about the budget.. etc..

It was in that last six days of so many visitors that people told me stories of how you had helped them.. how MUCH you had helped them.. how you had given them their first chance.. maybe their second chance.. how you had inspired them.. and how you had led by example! These were all revelations to me and I was genuinely unaware of how my father who didn’t talk much or communicate much.. had formed such strong bonds and connects with people!

It has happened so often with me that I say something.. or do something.. and people (friends, family, colleagues and neighbours) say “That’s JUST what Narendrabhai would have said or done – you are truly 100%your father’s daughter!” THAT is a badge of honour that I wear with the utmost pride and joy!

Had circumstances been different and you had been with me today.. it would have been something like this.. You would have called me to come and sit with you.. narrated little snippets of important news to me.. showed me ads for new junk food products and soft drinks being launched and told me to go buy them at the earliest.. cajoled me to let you eat “dahi” with and ice cream after lunch and dinner (both of which were bad for you).. gotten misty-eyed as you read the birthday poem and cards.. admonished me gently for spending too much on the birthday presents (but felt very happy inside).. and succumbed graciously to my barrage of hugs and kisses!!

The greatest blessings of my life have been the times we have spent together.. cracking jokes.. watching TV.. talking about life, love and everything in-between.. discussing food until we were both drooling (!!).. when you were proud of me being called to the Disney office in Hong Kong for an interview.. when I qualified as a teacher.. arguing about political beliefs.. and although I didn’t really like it when you were angry with me.. am grateful for the lessons you taught me too!

Your wisdom.. intelligence.. problem-solving skills.. patience.. determination.. compassion and quiet sense of humour made you one-of-a-kind!  On your birthday, know that you have left really big shoes to fill.. but am trying my very best to live up to your ideals.. and always will do whatever I can to make you proud of me and say (with a twinkle in your eye) “That’s MY girl!!”

Happiest Birthday ever to you Daddy.. and be at peace.. wherever you are.. I love you and miss you every single day.. but I know that you’re right here.. watching over me!!

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DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? IT'S EVERYWHERE!

Do you believe in magic? I don't mean the rabbit pulling top-hatted magician kind.. or the Abracadabra-magic wand-Harry Potter kind.. but the everyday kind of magic that is all around us.. should we choose to see it and recognize it for what it is!

I had a truly "magical experience" yesterday that I'm delighted to share with you.. 

Someone had to have some important documents collected from my house.. I offered to send them by courier, albeit a tad reluctantly, given the nature of the contents.. My advisor called me saying their office boy Raju would come and pick it up to which I replied that I would leave the envelope with security to be handed over to him at a pre-decided time which was mutually agreeable.

My mobile rang at around that time and when I answered, an incredibly cheerful male voice at the other end said, "Good afternoon.. Pallavi Ma'am bol rahi hain na? Ma'am I am Raju from so-and-so company! Main churchgate station ke paas hoon.. aapka ghar kis taraf hai?" He also explained his location to me very clearly, saying "I am opposite Churchgate station.. Oval Maidan is to my left.. and the ticket booking office is to my right. Where should I come?" I explained to him, told him who to collect the envelope from and that was that (as far as I was concerned.)

As it turned out.. not really! Raju called me back in perhaps five minutes to say, "Ma'am main aapke building ke neeche hoon.. So-and-so ne mujhe aapka envelope diya hai.. Thank you very much Ma'am.. take care of yourself and have a very nice day!" I thanked him conventionally and hung up..

He went on his happy (or otherwise) way and I was GOBSMACKED! For starters, Raju is an office boy.. his take home definitely mustn't have too many zeroes on it.. he's out on the road collecting papers.. dropping them off.. calling people to let them know he's on the way.. or waiting downstairs.. it's SO hot these days.. and inspite of all this, he sounded like he was REALLY happy doing what he was doing! Devotion to duty is one thing.. but to have such a fabulous attitude towards his work.. that was AMAZING to me!

I chose to SEE that a little bit of magic had come by me and didn't want to let it pass unnoticed.. and so I called him back and he answered immediately, "Yes Pallavi Ma'am? Any problem? How can I help you?" I just told him, "You are such a cheerful person and I just wanted to let you know that so many people call me to offer services.. to collect things.. drop things.. but no one has ever been as pleasant as you are! It has been such a pleasure talking to you and I am going to let your boss know this as well!" He thanked me nicely and wished me, "God bless and have a nice day Ma'am."

This is the message I sent his boss :

"Hi So-and-so

Your office boy Raju came to collect the papers some time ago. Obviously I had left the envelope ready downstairs with security.. This message is just to say that I get calls everyday from people offering rendering or confirming a service.. we all do.. BUT..

Raju from your company comes across as an extremely positive enthusiastic pleasant and cheerful person who has a wonderful attitude towards his work! Am sure you know what a fabulous asset you have in him and value him in your organization accordingly! I look forward to a day when I can meet him face to face and thank him personally!

Just thought it was the high point of my day and really wanted to share this with you!"

Needless his boss was very happy.. he told me so and shared the message with him!

My takeaway from this experience was this :

The pandemic is stressful for us all.. and especially more so for some..

Most of us (including me) tend to be impatient, snappy and rude to telemarketers who call.. the poor things are making sometimes 200 calls daily.. or to people who are making feedback calls for appliance purchases or car services.. EVERYONE is fighting a tough battle..

Let's all try and be kind, patient and polite.. and LOOK for the little magical moments in our day.. they are all around us.. we just have to grab them when we see them! 

It may not seem like a very special story to you.. but it certainly was to me!!   

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25 YEARS OF TEACHING.. AND LEARNING!!

 25 YEARS OF TEACHING.. AND LEARNING!!

“Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all” said Aristotle.. and this to me, has always been the essence of teaching!

Let’s flashback to June 1987 when I applied for admission to both, Sophia College and Nirmala Niketan for the Post-Graduate Diploma in Early Childhood Education (aka Nursery Teacher's Training).. I got confirmed admission to the course at Sophia but begged and pleaded for admission to Nirmala Niketan (because it was so close to home) and I didn’t want to “commute”! My soon to be) HoD Mrs. Mahadevan was incredulous when I said that – she told me quite disapprovingly that there were girls who commuted to and from Borivli, Ghatkopar etc.. and that travelling from Churchgate to Breach Candy was hardly a commute!

To cut a long story short, the kindness of her heart ran away with her (as it often does) and (probably) against her better judgement, she agreed to take me in at NN! Imagine my utterly sinking feeling and sense of shock when in the first lecture of the course, she told us we had signed up for a two year course condensed into one year.. that we would have no social life.. no outings.. no fun.. basically no LIFE! Additional stress that I HAD to be in the top 3 students.. WHAT was I stuck with??

Good teachers help to develop a love for the subject and learning and I was blessed that all three of my teachers – Jana Mahadevan, Nalini Chugani and Nandita Jhaveri (all of whom are dear friends today) were all BORN teachers who had an unmatched love and passion for the children in preschool classrooms! It was a year when I worked harder than I had ever worked before, loved what I did.. and enjoyed every bit of it! Predictably, I crumbled under the pressure and wanted to quit halfway.. but they motivated me, believed in me and made sure I completed the course ranking second in my class.. for which I am indebted to them for life!

I started as Teacher-Supervisor at Nirmala Niketan at the handsome salary of Rs. 1000 per month – the principal has told me it would be 800.. but then called me to say they believed I deserved more! It was so exciting and enthusiastically came home to declare that henceforth, I WOULD PAY for all the fruit that came into the house!! The biggest “high” for me was that Mummy STOPPED asking me where I had spent my money.. because I was earning my OWN money!!

My journey as a teacher (rather, as a facilitator of learning) has been colourful and varied.. within the patchwork of pre-school education, I got opportunities to attend AND conduct teacher workshops.. be a resource person and lead refresher courses for teachers.. develop content for teaching computers to young children.. do a motivational training workshop for staff at an NGO that works with street children.. RUN the same NGO full-time for 2 years.. teach at a truly experimental nursery school.. run a more structured one.. work at a school that had a lot of parent participation (at times parent interference).. plan and design a full curriculum for Nursery and Lower KG for a countrywide school chain.. I am overwhelmingly blessed to have had so many opportunities in different setups within the same sphere.. and correspondingly grateful for the same as well..

 When you work with children in the pre-school space, you wear a lot of hats.. you are Mummy-substitute.. sheet anchor.. bandaid-applier.. tear-wiper.. reassurer.. disciplinarian.. coaxer.. counsellor.. occasional referee.. and a plethora of other things! You develop eyes all around your head and accept that truth IS INDEED stranger than fiction.. especially when you see the kind of things that children do, say, imagine and create!

You learn sympathy, empathy, tact, diplomacy, commitment, devotion to duty, how to keep a straight face when you’re dying to laugh, how to laugh out loud (even if you’re sad), how to shed your inhibitions and make a complete fool of yourself to entertain the children.. how to be firm but kind.. and how to stretch boundaries without breaking them.. Above all, you learn to ACCEPT.. children.. parents.. colleagues.. and staff.. for exactly who and what they are (and aren't) !

Teaching is a profession that gave me SO MUCH.. confidence.. faith in myself.. clarity of thinking.. strength of purpose.. amazing friends.. organizational skills.. soft skills.. a LOT of FUN.. and as Daddy used to say..

 “From 0 to 25 – you learn..

From 25 to 50 – you earn and

50 onwards – you RETURN”

My humble offering in return to the profession has been a set of 21 workbooks designed for children who are 4+ years old.. AND two years when my friends Ami Thakker Alefia Zoomkawala and I went to our NGO Salaam Baalak Trust and taught conversational English to a motley crew from 6 to 18 years of age! Those really were the days.. we were completely out of our depth.. but once the class took off.. it just TOOK OFF!!

Someone far wiser than I had said long ago that “Attitudes are caught.. not taught”..and also that “Children learn what they live with”.. and to this end, I have tried inside the classroom (and outside it) to lead by example.. to be as humane.. gentle.. funny.. forgiving.. accepting.. generous.. patient.. grateful.. and as human as I possibly can.. because that’s what I caught and learned from all the wonderful people I have worked.. laughed.. learned.. and taught with!!

With a heart full of love I just need to name a few people here.. Roshan Billimoria.. Anu Thyagarajan.. Renu Haksar.. Sadhana Khagram.. Vaishali Mehta.. Dinaz Stafford.. Zarine Gupta.. teachers who I adore.. and Vibhav Mariwala.. Tasneem Zaveri.. Aviva Jogani.. and Aman Shah.. children I will NEVER EVER forget!!

thank you.. Thank You.. and THANK YOU.. for being a part of my journey!!

 

What did I want to be when I grew up?

 One of the most stressful questions you can ask a child right? Second only to “Who do you love more.. Daddy or Mummy”? Growing up as the second child implied and ensured that I was a bit of a brat and had to fight for equal rights with my brother who was older, more clever, better looking and generally.. much cooler!

Growing up as a fairly average clueless and unambitious child and teenager, what defined me (in a good way) that I LOVED reading! For my super important tenth birthday (the first of the double digits) Daddy came home staggering under the not inconsiderable weight of two cartons stuffed to bursting with abridged versions of the classics!

My love for reading was quite insane.. as in.. I was once attending (physically present mentally absent) a family wedding and Mummy spoke to me sharply after THREE attempts to get through to me because I was far far away immersed in my book at the time! She used to say very often that “I was really useless and lost to the world when buried in a book”!

Enid Blyton was my all-time favourite and I felt like I was an honorary member of the Secret Seven, the Five Find-Outers, the Famous Five and the Folk of the Faraway Tree to name a few! I loved Oliver Twist, Huckleberry Finn, Just William, Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Trixie Belden and the Chalet School series with a passion!

When it came to reading school books and studying, however, that was a whole different ballgame! I just wasn’t interested in anything except English, Hindi, and Gujarati and French (yup.. studied all those AND supplementary Marathi simultaneously for a while)! My mother coaxed, bribed, encouraged, scolded and tried every tuition teacher she could to motivate me to study.. but all in vain.. I was the quintessential Peter Pan.. carefree and oblivious to the rude shock that was just around the corner!

Irresponsible, playful and easily distracted I was coasting through school until standard 8 when I confidently told Mummy “I’m studying with my friend”.. SHE studied, I fooled around and FAILED the year! Daddy was VERY angry and it was the biggest shock of my young life until then! Despite pleadings to change schools, I repeated the year at the same school and became a reformed character – to some extent..

Once, the girls in my class made a chart about everyone in class and on that, I was voted “least likely to succeed”! It HURT and HURT HARD! From that day onwards, I resolved to try my best.. and I did.. and passed out of school with a First Class which was a great achievement for me!

Not having thought about what I wanted to do or be, I opted for Arts with Psycolody and Philosophy as my subjects! The easing out from the strict school discipline brought forth a few strengths.. I was Class Representative and organized a few events and made some wonderful friends who are my backbone even today!

I STILL didn’t know what I should do after graduating so I followed the herd and signed up for LLB.. did well but it was super boring and after falling asleep in class every day, I quit at the end of one year..

I tried doing my MA via correspondence.. a course in Special Education via correspondence and just couldn’t do either because I NEEDED the discipline of attending classes! Dabbled in advertising for a while but was disillusioned about calling a crappy product good.. and was completely lost in life!

Daddy spoke to me and said “Look, this is a family of high achievers and you are going to HAVE to do something with your life! Take a year off, check out all the courses that Bombay has to offer.. decide what you WANT to do.. and DO it”! After a lot of research and hunting I decided to become a pre-school teacher.. major reasons being 

1) I find the process by which children learn fascinating..

2) Working hours were only half day..

3) Every weekend off and long vacations..

Daddy told me I HAD to be in the top 3 students of my class.. it was a gruelling course (2 year course we did in 1 year).. sat up until 2 am practically every night working on teaching aids.. designing worksheets.. making lesson plans.. thinking of creative activities.. PLUS studying hard! To cut a long story short, I almost quit halfway but thanks to my professors and friends, I persevered.. and stood 2^nd in class!

I LOVED (and still do) being in the classroom.. facilitating learning.. observing individual differences and similarities in children..

It’s been a hard fought battle figuring out what I wanted to do.. and doing it.. but honestly, nothing else could have even come close! It gives me a sense of purpose.. plus I get to make a difference.. and am glad the journey was what it was because now I can say with conviction and confidence that “I do what I do (teach) because there’s absolutely nothing else I’d rather be doing”!

Find your passion.. love it and live it.. there can not be anything that will make you happier!!

(My next blog will be about experiences in teaching.. can’t wait to share it)!!

Back to my blog after 9 years!!

 

Confession being good for the soul.. mine is that after having wasted a fair bit of time during the pandemic.. the realization came to me that it’s now time to do something constructive!

My greatest achievement over the past year was coordinating orders for the people in my building and a few neighbouring buildings.. particularly since there who were (and still are) a number of senior citizens who weren’t particularly tech-savvy at doing all this online stuff so.. April 2020 onwards was a crazy blur of ordering jalebi-fafda.. sourdough bread.. fruit - exotic and mundane.. dishwashing liquid.. the ubiquitous farsan.. and a fascinating plethora of other things!

When my dear friend Ami lovingly accused me of being a “compulsive samaaj-sevika” I pled “guilty as charged” but in retrospect, it was a beautiful time of getting to know so many people in my building and around me.. quirks foibles and all! WHY did I take on the role of doing something that was exhausting exasperating fulfilling and rewarding all at the same time?

The answer is very simple – because I COULD.. Not being a social worker by qualification, the one core belief I have always had has been “No matter what I do.. or wherever I go.. I want to do things that touch other people’s lives in a good way.. and make a difference.. however small that difference may be”..

With the blessings of the Universe, I have been privileged not to HAVE HAD TO work for a living (to make ends meet).. but have gotten to work in all kinds of ways and places that ensured that I was touching lives all the time.. for which I am deeply grateful..

All of a sudden, the dam has burst and there are so many stories that I want to tell.. and so many thoughts I want to share.. but this is it for today.. and there will be many more to follow!

Thank you from the heart to all of you who have had the patience to read so far.. your patience and willingness to spare the time to read my blog means the world to me!

God bless and much love always!!