THE IRONIES OF LIFE.. can be so tragic..

 THE IRONIES OF LIFE.. can be so tragic..

A lot of sad and bad things have been happening in the world lately and it really makes me wonder.. WHY do these things happen?

How does a happy picnic spot become a graveyard all of a sudden? Why does a wife on her honeymoon give a contract for husband to be killed? How does a Dreamliner crash and erupt into a ball of fire almost immediately after takeoff with everyone (except one person) dying?

What makes that same Dreamliner collapse on top of a medical college mess where young "soon to be doctors" were enjoying a short break from their arduous duties to have lunch? Why were those who are actually "life savers" killed? Are there any answers? Not really..

BOEING as a company will be taken to task.. inquiries will be made.. AIR INDIA will come under the scanner for questionable security measures (or rather.. the lack of them).. Ministers will mouth platitudes and give lengthy speeches.. families will be compensated with money.. and it will become an old story soon..

I just want to share my feelings about this horrific episode.. because I believe that in everything that happens.. there is a lesson and a takeaway..

Through my life of almost 62 years I have lost no less than SEVEN family members to air disasters.. having said that, I never think of that while boarding a flight! 

As I sit to think of those that have perished.. I wonder what their last thoughts were before the crash.. unrealized dreams.. goals that would never be achieved.. people they would never meet again.. promotions earned but never to be received.. vacation plans that would never see the light of day.. proposals that wont be made.. the baby that won't complete the family.. it was just too late..

And when I sit to pray for the families and friends of those who have been lost.. so many possible scenarious run riot in my head.. Are they regretting something nasty they may have said.. Did they fight about something trivial? Were they rude or unkind in their words or actions? Was there a secret they wanted to share? An apology that should have been made in person? Is there a planned celebration that won't take place? A family holiday that will remain as a dream.. It is just too late now..

We really need to count our blessings and be grateful that it's not TOO LATE YET.. to say thank you.. to tell the people we love that we love them (in so many words).. to send those flowers.. to make that call.. to write that email.. to say that prayer.. 

What an incredible lesson there is to be learned from this tragedy.. watch your thoughts.. choose your words carefully and no matter what happens.. be kind.. At the end of the day.. no one should ever live with regrets for what they "could have and should have done".. for others as well as for themselves..

The difference between life and death is one breath.. just ONE breath.. If you have been at all affected by the crash of AI 171.. please stop taking your life and the people you love for granted! 

Make time for people.. meet them.. TALK to them.. about your hopes and dreams.. whims  fancies and desires.. Celebrate your birthday with your friends and family.. it is a blessing to be surrounded by love!! Realize and give thanks for waking up every morning and simply being alive.. for it is a privilege denied to so many! LIVE every day of your life the fullest happiest and most beautiful way you can.. 

Do it simply because.. in the truly immportal words of the brilliant poet Javed Akhtar..

Har ghadi badal rahi hai roop zindagi

Chaanv hai kabhi, kabhi

hai dhoop zindagi

Har pal yahan

Jee bhar jiyo jo hai samaa

Kal ho naa ho

Har pal yahan

Jee bhar jiyo jo hai samaa

Kal ho naa ho

Thank you as always for reading and do remember to please add tour name at the end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

CREATE THIS DOCUMENT TODAY.. it’s really important!!

I’ve never said it before but please read this blog very carefully and do the needful at the earliest (if what is written resonates with you)..

There are days when I stare into space.. reflect on the day week and month that’s gone by and occasional flashes of insight (am not being conceited enough to call it brilliance) come to me.. This happened to me one evening last week and it seemed important enough to warrant a blog and so here I am wanting to share it!

A dear friend had come over for dinner and he happened to mention that he was travelling to Goa tomorrow.. Amit is one of my “bubble friends” – my name for friendships where we only know each other but no one else in each other’s lives..

These are precious friendships but not always the most practical kind.. whether it’s the fact that Operation Sindoor happened.. whether war broke out or not.. it suddenly hit me that God forbid.. if there was to be a crisis situation, neither one of us had any means of getting an update about each other! Life is unpredictable (to say the least) and we discussed and decided that we should do something about it for sure and at the soonest!

For starters.. we are both single (and happy) but we agreed that whenever either one of us is travelling.. tickets and itineraries have to be shared! Upon safe arrival at destination, a WhatsApp message must be sent as well so that other is at peace.. especially considering the frequency of flight delays and cancellations nowadays..

Once we agreed on this, another thought followed in quick succession.. and it was like this.. Oftentimes even for people who live with complete families.. nobody really knows ALL your details.. What if you need to be rushed to hospital or you are stranded (horrors!!) without wi-fi.. someone needs to know important information about you so that they can help you out! Right? You bet!

Am sure everyone has that one person (bestie.. family.. really close friend or an ICE (in case of emergency) who you trust completely.. if you do, you need to create a document with all the most important information about you and share it with them! Am going to try and make this easier for you by sharing the details I think should be shared..

·       Passport copy

·       Medical insurance policy copy, insurance agent name and contact number

·       Car/s insurance copies

·       Bank account number, name and branch

·       Bank locker number

·       Credit card/s details with pin/s

·       Email ID/s with password/s

·       List of medications taken with a brief medical history

·       Family doctor & specialist names with mobile numbers

·       Staff names and mobile numbers

·       Close friends and family names & numbers to be contacted (in case of an emergency)

 

Do feel free to add whatever you’d like to this list and please do it at the earliest.. am sure it will come in very helpful and handy some day!

As always, thank you so much for reading and do please add your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)..

WE ALL NEED TO DO THIS.. go that extra mile!!

Last Sunday I went (with a couple of friends) to Matunga for a nice South Indian Breakfast/brunch.. We were chatting and laughing in the car and moving smoothly until we reached the Matunga market which was crowded as usual and to be expected on a Sunday..

As we got to the corner where we had to turn left for Arya Bhavan (my all-time favourite South Indian restaurant) we stopped.. just stopped.. because there wasn’t an empty square inch of road to drive on!

Everywhere we looked.. we saw visually impaired people tapping their white sticks and trying to negotiate their way.. and I’m talking about over a hundred people! We were obviously crawling through the narrow lane taking extreme care not to even lightly brush against a single person.

As we were sitting in the car, a young girl tapped on my window and when I lowered the glass, she told me “Please be very careful and drive slowly.. there’s very little space to move and these blind people can’t see you”! She was probably still in her teens and I promised to do as she requested and we moved ahead..

Further ahead we saw a banner that announced that it was “Andha Ann Din” which meant some kindhearted soul/s were donating foodstuff and grains to these people.. so finally we understood the reason for the hordes of people. Somehow that gesture of the young girl really touched me.. she didn’t HAVE to tap on my window with her words of caution.. but.. she genuinely cared about the people and went out of her way and “walked the extra mile” to do so!

It was brave on her part as well because there was always the possibility that I could have been a different kind of person who snapped and said something like “I am not blind and can see.. You don’t need to tell me what to do.. Just mind your business.. Are you trying to be Mother Teresa?” The sad truth is that we Mumbaikars pride ourselves on being “so busy” and think that is a licence to be rude and snappy!

I like to believe that there are times when we want to “walk the extra mile” for others but are a little worried that it may backfire.. or the other person might think we are weird or crazy.. or mistake our intentions as power play or whatever.. but it is SO important to perform small acts of random kindness that are unexpected..

Just think about it.. there are so many opportunities through the day when you can do this.. hold a door open for someone who’s laden with parcels.. try and help sort out a traffic snarl.. offer to share your umbrella with someone who needs it.. carry your neighbour’s courier parcel up and drop it to their door.. send flowers to your bestie “just because”.. hand tetrapacks of “lassi” and “chaash” to traffic policemen doing duty in the sweltering afternoon sun or even order a special meal for your staff the day they’re really tired..

As we go through life.. let’s try and resolve to do something small and thoughtful for another person whenever we can.. going the extra mile isn’t troublesome or difficult.. It just needs a kind and thoughtful heart and a willingness to bring a smile to another person’s face! Kindness costs nothing and what a wonderful habit to pass on to our children and everyone around us.. It will bring you a glow of warmth in the heart and a smile that stretches from ear to ear! With all the exercise gymming yoga Pilates and swimming we do.. let’s make “walking the extra mile” a regular part of our lives too!

As always, thank you for reading and please write your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

SOME MIRACLES ARE JUST GOOD PEOPLE.. with kind hearts!!

As a little girl growing up Daddy always tried to teach me about “the value of money”.. and this was done in various creative ways! Tidiness and neatness were rewarded with pocket money.. I was encouraged to go “door to door” (only in the building) to collect donations for the NAB Lions Home for the Blind (a form was given from school) and when I professed a desire for a pair of “Roman lace up sandals” the money was collected by doing (once again) door to door market research for some washing powder! Persevering in spite of a number or slammed doors and rude people, it was a real thrill to collect the princely sum of Rs.70 to buy my first  very OWN pair of sandals with my very OWN MONEY!!

I was pampered in terms of permissions and friends and going out but kept on a very tight budget.. and remember my mother’s words so clearly “When you start earning your own money.. you can spend it however you like but until then.. you will have t do as we say and decide”.. and that made me want to really hurry up and start earning my own money!

Daddy used to travel abroad a great deal on work.. and by the time I was in senior school I wanted “branded” jeans.. and the only “brands” back then were Wranglers and Levis! He went to Hong Kong and brought me 10 pairs of jeans.. ONE pair of genuine “branded” Wranglers and the rest “wannabe” pairs from Stanley Market which was an absolute haven for “branded” copies back then! I was happy and he was even happier because the he bought the other 9 pairs for a song!

Daddy always liked being the “cool Dad” and managed to find reasonable and acceptable ways of indulging me without saying too many “Nos” and without spoiling me outrageously at the same time! He was earning a comfortable salary and we lived well but he always discouraged me from buying “branded” clothes saying I didn’t NEED them.. However he always insisted on buying good quality footwear because that was a health concern! Totally reasonable and acceptable by any and all standards? Absolutely!

As I was growing up, he told me one day that when my personal wealth reached a certain figure (which he never disclosed to me!) he would allow me to fly “Business Class” and the day THAT happened it was really exciting! That was also the first trip when he gave me a more generous allowance of spending money and said I could buy myself a “branded” watch.. explaining to me that since I was going to London I should claim the VAT Tax-free refund.. and also that since I wore a watch everyday it was an “investment”!

Time went by and I started becoming a discerning shopper and decided to invest in only top branded bags and watches because they would last and were genuinely “value for money”.. In keeping with my new beliefs I bought myself a Cartier Tank watch on my 60^th birthday and was very pleased with myself! I wore it every single day and really loved the watch! And then.. for no particular reason.. one fine day.. it just stopped working!

I took it back to the company I had bought it from.. they checked it and said the battery had failed and would need to be replaced.. The battery had to come from France so I waited patiently for 3 weeks! All was well for another six months or so when it unaccountable stopped again! This time they told me the watch had gotten “demagnetized” so another 3 weeks to fix it! A couple of months went by and two tiny pins fell out of the strap and the watch was perching precariously on my wrist.. Thanks to the house renovation.. shifting and my own carelessness (it must be admitted) the spare links were not to be found so yet another 3 weeks at the workshop!

When it stopped working again a couple of weeks ago I took it to the workshop and gave the team a piece of my mind.. told them I had been given the equivalent of a “lemon” and that it was shameful that a Cartier had to be fixed FOUR times within just two years of purchase.. and if the brand had ANY integrity and concern for their reputation they should give me a replacement!

And THIS is where the miracle called Mr. Karan Vaidya came into my life.. he heard my litany woes and rants patiently.. agreed with me.. took up this matter with the brand.. fought for me.. negotiated for me.. and this evening.. happily handed over to me a spanking brand new Cartier Tank watch.. exactly identical to the one I had bought in 2023!

It is always refreshing and reassuring to meet people who do what they do with passion and integrity and I have been truly blessed to meet this extremely charming personable and thoroughly professional young man! I hope to be able to share this blog with him via email.. and thank him once again for being such a rockstar and amazingly helpful person! Don’t think I will ever be able to wear my watch without thinking of him and blessing him! He has truly been my miracle of a good person with a kind heart! God bless you Karan!

Thank you as always for reading and please write your name at the end of the comment (should you choose to write one).

 

ARE WE TRULY GRATEFUL ENOUGH.. and for the right things? Ask yourself..

As we go through life and navigate from one age and one stage to another.. there are certain “buzz words” and “key phrases” that rule.. When we were very young it was “children are meant to be seen and not heard” and then it changed to “Do as I say don’t do as I do” and so on.. and we as obedient children listened and adhered..

Time went by.. we grew up.. developed our own identities and personalities and the phrases changed to “it’s all about loving your parents” and “nothing is impossible.. the word itself says I M possible”.. and thinking we were invincible.. we were convinced about these truths too..

When we started working we were told things like “TEAM” stands for “together everyone achieves more” and “We’re number 2.. we try harder” and we pushed ourselves to outperform each other and ourselves.. and thought that would result in accolades and awards.. and it did.. BUT..

After giving (almost) our hearts and souls to other people.. friends.. family.. the boss and the office.. we had a “Eureka moment” and realized that something was wrong.. The salary cheque was substantial.. there was recognition and fame.. but there was still something “missing”.. and for the life of us.. we couldn’t put our finger on it!

It was around then that all of a sudden.. buzz words and phrases.. life coaches.. spirituality and “personal growth” became the rage and we got advice and life lessons that went something like this.. “Think positive.. good energy matters.. be thankful.. practice gratitude actively”.. and so.. in our own muddled and confused way.. we tried.. said multiple “thank yous” to God or the universe every time something good happened to us! This was a good thing.. but the question is.. was it good enough?

The answer is very simple.. NO.. no it’s not good enough.. because we need to first identify and acknowledge our blessings before we can be grateful for them! And most of us believe that the time to be grateful is when plans work and good things happen to us and the people we love.. Right? This is actually wrong.. or at best.. just partly right!

My dear friend Navaz sent me a video where it shows a simple down to earth person says gratitude shouldn’t be only for the good things that we receive but.. and get this loud and clear.. it should ALSO be for all the bad things that we don’t want and don’t receive! Let me explain this a little more.. Essentially.. we need to “flip the script” meaning..

Let’s assume that I don’t want a life-threatening illness.. and I don’t have one.. something to be grateful for.. Let’s say I don’t want to be financially or emotionally dependent on anyone.. and I am not.. that’s another thing to be grateful for! We need to understand and accept that not getting what you don’t want is a huge blessing in itself and we should be grateful for it!

Make a list of all the things that you don’t EVER want.. credit card fraud.. broken relationships.. losses in business.. infidelity in marriage.. and THEN sit down and realize how many of them you don’t have.. Understand how blessed you are and how much you really have to be grateful for.. and then thank God.. the universe and whoever else you need to!

Make your own personal list of “buzz words and catch phrases” and make sure to include “peace of mind.. joy in the heart.. solitude.. reflection.. compassion.. soul growth.. kindness and good energy” in it.. and don’t forget to be grateful for NOT getting the things you don’t want!

As always.. thank you for your patience and for reading.. and do add your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)..

Remain blessed and wishing you a wonderful weekend!!

97 YEARS OLD & COUNTING.. You’re rocking it Daddy!

Today is Daddy’s 97^th birthday.. I write “is” and not “would have been” because although his physical presence has moved on.. he’s very much “here” among us and in the nicest possible way even today!

It is thanks to him and his gift for words that I am able to think the way I do.. and string my thoughts together somewhat coherently to be able to write the “morning magic”!

It is thanks to his goodwill and respectful connections that so many doors open easily for me today.. all difficulties and challenges are overcome and managed smoothly.. only because he has extended the same courtesy to so many in his lifetime..

It is thanks to him (and my mother) that I was made to believe that it was good to be “rough and tough and ready for anything” as a child and so able to enjoy a number of adventures! 

It is thanks to his empathy that I was made aware of how lucky I was to belong to a family blessed with abundance.. sensitized and learned to share with and give to the less fortunate..

It is thanks to his firm but loving discipline that I am borderline OCD and my cupboards and drawers are in “apple pie order” (most of the time)!

It is thanks to him and his words of wisdom that I grew up with a fantastic work ethic.. he said “when you are in a position of responsibility and leadership.. you can choose to be efficient or popular.. I hope you choose to be like me – a happy combination of both!” I tried my best..

It is thanks to him that I understood that the staff we have at home leave their spouses children siblings families and friends in the village to come and work for US.. and therefore WE have to be “family” to them.. and always to grant them leave happily!

It is thanks to him that I learned how to talk to the people who serve us at any and every level.. to “connect” with them and speak with them nicely and respect what they do.. cleaners waiters and everyone..

It is thanks to his foresight that I have a support system of FOUR incredibly wise very clever and caring “solid” people he entrusted me to.. Pravin Porus Deepak and Manish! Super blessed to have you guys and thank you for always looking out for me!

It is thanks to him and his careful teaching and explanations that I have an idea about investments and finances.. and am even able to ask some significant questions sometimes!

It is thanks to him that I understood that girls are “as good as smart and as capable.. if not more so” than boys! That really built my confidence in my own capabilities!

And last but definitely not the least.. if I am living alone.. with courage and no fear.. if I am living a good (no.. actually great) life without “needing” anyone to come and take care of me.. If I am making my own decisions with a clean heart and a clear mind.. it is all and only thanks to everything you have taught me.. shown me.. and “led by example!

Just to reiterate.. am so blessed to have been born your daughter and will do everything I can to be the person you always wanted me to be!

Happy birthday with the biggest hugs and all my love to you wherever you are.. and thank you for being with me.. and guiding my footsteps.. always!! Love you hamesha!!

Thank you for reading and do please share your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

HOW TO BE A REALLY GOOD FRIEND.. the “must dos”..

What are the things that matter most in a friendship? Of course it’s also a matter of “different strokes for different folks” but some fundamentals are constant and don’t ever change.. right? Friendship.. in the deepest and truest sense of the word is a lifelong commitment.. to “be there”.. to care.. and most of all.. to share..

“Friend” is a word I don’t use lightly.. there are people who are casual acquaintances.. there are the people I know and like a little more who are “acquaintance plus”.. there are colleagues.. there are neighbours.. there is family.. and THEN.. there are friends.. who are often more than family!

A real and solid friendship to me doesn’t depend on how much time you spend together.. as long as you spend SOME time together.. quality time without being on your phones.. sharing the big and little details of your lives.. talking yourself hoarse about your feelings.. baring your souls and never being afraid of breaking down and crying.. BUT it is essential to make the effort and spend some time together.. the last thing you want is to feel “taken for granted” by someone you care for so much! Please spend “special time”.

People say with great pride “I don’t talk to my bestie for 6 months at a stretch but when we talk.. we catch up on everything and it feels like we were together just yesterday”! Excuse my language but this is bullshit! Your bestie loves hearing from you.. and waits to hear from you.. How much of an effort is it to drop a text message or a voice message or just make a quick call to say “I’m thinking of you.. love you and miss you.. Hope things are alright with you”.. Do it!

And then there are the people who say “I am just not “made” that way.. I can’t do the calls.. send the messages.. make the plans and keep in touch.. but I care and will talk to you when we meet.. this just doesn’t work for me! If you can receive messages.. you can send them.. and if you can answer calls.. you can bloody well make them too! If you want to be included in the plan.. how about taking the initiative once in a while? How difficult is it? Keep in touch!

When things are hunky dory and all is well.. everyone will be around right in the lines of vision and hearing.. they will dance at your parties with reckless abandon and make merry into the wee hours! What happens when the chips are down and times are tough? We go through an illness.. lose a parent.. suffer a stormy relationship.. navigate a messy divorce.. Who are the friends who just come in and take charge and handle things and handle you? Know them!

A friend is someone with whom you’ve done the craziest things.. shared the silliest and naughtiest jokes.. discussed the biggest problems.. celebrated every success.. had the most fun holidays.. shared your deepest darkest fears.. shared the tightest hugs.. attended the “must go to” weddings.. eaten the worst food and survived.. gotten so drunk you could hardly stand straight.. and felt unconditionally loved accepted and supported and understood no matter what! Have one? You are lucky!

Being a true friend means you have to be Superman or Superwoman.. willingly and happily.. and all the time! You have to hold your friend in your heart.. have their back.. trust them.. believe in them.. defend them when they need it and just give 100% of yourself to them! That means you HAVE to be respected accepted and loved for being exactly who you are.. not 20 kgs lighter.. not 10 crores richer.. not 50 points higher on IQ.. not 5 shades fairer.. and reciprocate the same!

Speaking for myself, I have had the joys of “reason season and lifetime friends”.. and don’t need to name any names here.. everyone reading this knows exactly who they have been and still are to me! Friendship has always been my “go to” and favourite relationship in life.. and of course the definition has evolved over time and continues to do so..

With heartfelt gratitude to all my “friends who are more than family”.. know that every little act of kindness faith and love that you give me is tremendously cherished and treasured.. Thank you for everything you think say do feel and share! Biggest hugs and much love always.. remember that you are special and have a space in my heart that nobody else can ever fill.. and I am truly blessed!

Wishing you all a lifetime of genuine friends and thank you as always for reading.. Please remember to add your name at the end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!!