HEARTBREAKING & “HEARTMAKING” at the same time!!

Life throws all kinds of situations and experiences at us all the time.. and we are left with no option but to respond.. Most of the time it’s good stuff like a promotion at work.. maybe a financial windfall.. meeting a special person.. eating a surprisingly delicious meal at a new restaurant etc..

On the other side there is sometimes a plethora of stress with situations like major health problems.. death of a loved one.. financial losses in business or investments.. betrayal by a loved one.. emergency hospitalizations etc.. and so many other situations that I’m not mentioning here..

Am sharing something incredibly stressful that happened to me earlier this week (although sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago).. I was at my house in Lonavala having a super fun relaxed weekend with a few close friends and recovering from a rocking Diwali party.. Had gone to Poona to meet a dear friend and her family who were celebrating a birthday to which I was especially invited..

It was a lovely day but quite tiring and since I had skipped my afternoon siesta, I got into bed on Saturday night looking forward to a nice peaceful night.. Be careful what you wish for.. the fates had something completely to the contrary in store for me that night!

There was a knock at the door (which I slept through) and then my friend insistently waking me up saying there was an emergency! My driver came up with his mobile and Man Friday (Kishore to most of you) telling me calmly but urgently (don’t know how he did that) that Girl Friday (Savita) was throwing up blood and couldn’t breathe and what should he do?! We agreed that he should take her to Bombay Hospital (because it was the closest) Emergency and that I would ask someone to meet him there!

My family doctor (incidentally also best friend) them absolute gem that he is.. rushed there immediately and my driver-cum-right-hand Dinesh and I left for Mumbai at 2 AM.. The drive was harrowing to say the least because everything on the road except us was (seemingly) either a container truck or tanker.. We had to drive slow to make sure that the patient count remained at just one!

Doc spoke with me at least eleven times during that 1 hour 45 minute ride to ask for personal details of Savita.. choice of room and so on.. When someone has been a part of your family and lived with you for 35 years it’s a no-brainer right? I just said it had to be the best room.. the best doctor and the best medical care that money could possibly buy!

Reached the hospital at 3:45 am and crept quietly into the ICU to see her wide awake but exhausted.. on oxygen.. the monitors pipes and tubes completely dwarfing her fairly small being,, She apologized for causing me so much trouble and I told her she would be fine.. sat with her for a while and came back home to get some rest..

I went back in a couple of hours and met the treating specialist Dr. Avya Bansal.. an outstanding pulmonologist and more importantly.. a wonderful human being! He very patiently explained the situation to me in great detail illustrating it with a simple drawing! He was also kind enough to speak with my doctor and explain the situation to him as well.. Which specialist gives you this much time anymore?

We have been truly blessed to have Dr. Bansal looking after her.. his bedside manner is exemplary and he is a very positive and reassuring presence. He is both approachable and immediately responsive.. and it’s such a blessing to meet a doctor who genuinely CARES about his patients! God bless him, Dr. Vishwesh and his team!

Savita spent two days in the ICU and was beautifully looked after and shifted to a private room yesterday (can’t risk any cross infections)! She was grouchy and that irritated me and I was walking around looking (and feeling) like a thundercloud but a long talk with my bestie made me realize that I should calm down.. and I did..

She was nice and cheerful this morning and not grumbling about anything and that gave me the 180 degree turnaround in my mood that I needed as well.. Learning how to stay calm is the most important super power we all need! I went to the pool for a swim (after three days) and felt normal which was such a lovely feeling!

When I say “heartbreaking and heartmaking” I refer to two people.. Savita who was seriously unwell (possibly critical) which was heartbreaking (she’s my little sister) who is now making excellent progress which is heartmaking! My rock star Kishore said something very special to me a short while ago which I would like to share..

He came to my room (ostensibly to make the bed) and said in a very conversational tone“Do you know.. when I go to the village and meet my family, I feel like I am a guest and count the days until I come back HOME and to my FAMILY.. and that is here and you! For all that you do for us (even though we all get cranky sometimes!) and for being such a blessing in our lives (and I am saying this for both of us) I thank you from my heart and know that I am very fortunate to have gotten to work in this house and for your parents and you! Aap ko tahe dil se bahut bahut shukriya!

If that isn’t “heartmaking” tell me what is!! I am blessed and grateful for every joy great and small.. and always will be! Thank you all for your prayers and support for Savita.. it means much more to me than words can express! All going well.. she ought to be home on Saturday!

God is truly great and may His hand always remain on the heads of all those I love especially!

Thank you as always for reading and please add your name at the beginning or end of the comment (should you choose to write one)!!

TECHNOLOGY CAN BE A LIFESAVER.. and was today!!

 I’ve never been a techno buff.. and am actually pretty technophobic but I pulled off a major achievement today (by my standards) and want to share it! So there we were.. my friend Vaishali and I just walking into WINK at the President when all of a sudden.. my sandal broke!

Diwali evening.. most people at home celebrating with their families (including the local cobblers) and me with a broken sandal.. The staff were very helpful and tried to find a cobbler but there wasn’t anyone.. As all of you know.. I can be Humpty Dumpty at the most inopportune times and the last thing I wanted today (or ever) was to fall down!

Walking out of the hotel wasn’t an option.. too dangerous for me to attempt walking with my sandal almost in 2 parts! What to do? The young generation of today is so resourceful.. suddenly Vaishali said to me “Just call home and tell your helper to send your shoes down in a bag.. leave it with security and then use the UBER Courier service to bring your shoes here to the hotel!” How brilliant.. God bless her!

Sounds easy-peasy right? Not so for the technophobic yours truly.. but today I decided that I WOULD do this on my own.. It was a bit of a struggle but I managed and am super proud of myself! Today was a new feather in my cap of technological abilities and achievements! As senior citizens it is imperative in today’s world to have basic++ tech abilities because it’s not fun to be dependent on others to do these silly (but sometimes essential) things for us!

This was a lesson in more ways than one..

1)   1) Make friends with younger people because there will always be times when their different         (not better or worse, just different) skill sets will help you!

2)   2) Always have faith in yourself and your abilities.. if you think you can.. you will definitely be     able to..

3)   3) Be open to accepting offers of help or suggestions from other people.. you’re not always the     sharpest pencil in the drawer or the brightest star in the firmament for that matter!

4)   4) Know and believe that in the technology boom.. that almost every problem (with very few         exceptions) has a fairly simple solution!

5)  5) Embrace technology instead of fearing it.. empower yourself enough to be able to manage         simple things like ordering groceries and meals online.. calling an Uber.. and celebrate             every little victory (it’s NOT little)!Rereading the above list reminds me that this is a pretty         cool message and advice for the new year (tomorrow is Bestu Varas or New Year’s Day             Samvat year 2082..

Re-reading the above list reminds me that this is a pretty cool message and advice for the new year (tomorrow is Bestu Varas or New Year’s Day Samvat year 2082..

Wishing all those of you who celebrate a truly magical and magnificent new year and “Saal Mubaarak”. May it be a perfect day and one that heralds a year filled with faith friendship fortune laughter love and light!

 Thank you (as always) for reading and please add your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

 

RAINY DAYS & SUNDAYS.. how to spend them..

This blog is especially for my fellow Bombayites (sounds so much nicer than saying Mumbaikars.. right?) We’re having a super wet spell and that can be debilitating in the city where most people love to go out and party!

Are you feeling “rained out” and restless being “stuck” at home? How about you shift your perspective just a little bit? You have quiet peaceful time at home with minimal (if any) interruptions.. and there is so much you can do (if you’re so inclined that is)..

The first option that comes to mind is (because I am borderline OCD) to tidy up your cupboard and give away the clothes you haven’t worn in the last six months.. Victims of the floods in both Punjab and Uttaranchal would be overwhelmingly grateful.. and should you not want to extend yourself that far.. the helpers at home would probably be equally if not more grateful..

Another idea is to clean up the photog gallery on your cell phone.. we keep postponing it and then get stressed when the pop up pings saying we have used 92% of the space available! Chances are dim and slim that we will EVER (if at all) watch ALL the videos that come to us on WhatsApp! Most of them go to the Recycle Bin unopened!

How about you decide to step into the kitchen to finally make that salad or dessert or amazing paneer recipe that you’ve been wanting to try for the longest time? As my Dad used to say “No time like the present” so roll up those sleeves.. get out that shopping board.. and get to it now! There is every possibility that you will create a mini (or maxi) culinary masterpiece! It’s also the perfect opportunity for you nitpicky tea and coffee drinkers to get up and LEARN how to make yourself the perfect cup of your favourite brew!

In the event that any of the above options are too much of an effort.. you could sit back and create a few of your favourite playlists on Spotify (which you’ve been planning to to do since God only knows when)! Once you finish that you could also do the same and create a personal list of “to be watched” movies and series on Netflix.. Amazon etc..

Alternatively lie on your bed.. close your eyes and listen to songs about rain.. and be lulled into a state of somnolence to the strains of songs like “Bheegi Bheegi Raaton Mein” “Rimjhim Gire Saawan” “Ghanan Ghanan” or those of you who prefer English melodies like “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head” “It’s Raining Men” or the all time favourite “Rainy Days and Mondays”! What an incredible way to do not very much at all.. and so enjoyably at that!

You could choose to be conventional and make garma garam masala chai and mixed vegetable bhajias.. or be adventurous and go for a walk especially to get soaked in the rain (better to stay home and dry).. or be clever (like me!!) and invite friends over for a fun time of chit-chat.. yummy food and maybe some board games thrown in.. or be a good “planner” and get your “to do list” for the week ready!

Whatever you decide to do.. just remember that this is probably the last Sunday of the year so don’t waste it sleeping all day.. but do whatever makes you happy and brings you joy!! There is not right or wrong way to spend days like these so.. make those calls.. send those messages.. tell those stories.. just stop thinking about it and DO IT!!

As always, thank you so much for reading and have a fantastic rest of the day!!

 

GENEROSITY.. is so easy to build..

We are all born with certain specific personality traits.. and tend to thank or blame our parents for them (depending on what they are)! 

Having been a student of Psychology and lived for 62 years it is obvious that character traits like anger  can get passed down from parents and children.. but then again so can patience.. a love for food can be hereditary while a love for alcohol is not quite as commonly seen!

We often inherit physical characteristics from our parents like the colour of our eyes.. the shape of our noses and even their body structure.. which can be both.. a good and a not so good thing! 

I am personally fascinated by how every human being in the world is a distinctly unique individual.. and that too.. in every way possible - physical mental intellectual social emotional and spiritual..

The diversity in quirks flaws and perceptions is especially very interesting.. I like to believe that we are all "works in progress" and always have the option of working on ourselves to grow learn and evolve into better human beings..

Something interesting happened last week and I would like to share it as it was a major learning for me.. I hosted some friends for a music show and thereafter to dinner at one of my favourite restaurants.. When the bill came to the table.. one friend tried to ask if we could go "Dutch" to which I gave my standard cheesy reply of "We'll go Dutch when we go to Holland"! And that was the end of it.. or so I thought..

Somewhere it bothered me that she felt the need to even ask.. and it made me feel like the friendship became almost but not quite.. transactional.. I had invited them knowing they would love the show and the dinner.. so why did she ask at all.. We spoke about it and cleared it which was great but set me thinking..

My realization was that I have for the longest time had a problem accepting (because I am by default a "giver") be it with presents compliments credit or anything! "Giving" is actually my "love language" and everyone is not like me! 

Generosity is a wonderful virtue and especially when it is paired with gratitude.. and no one's keeping score! There doesn't have to be a rupee spent in order to be generous! Generosity can be inviting someone over for a nice home cooked  meal.. spending time sitting with a sick friend in hospital.. sending flowers for no particular reason.. visiting an elderly relative just to spend time.. sharing something beautiful you have read with someone who would enjoy it..

Generosity can and should be expressed through kindness and concern.. through food.. hugs.. handwritten notes.. surprise messages and relaxed conversations.. It can be shown in so many ways.. and you can keep finding new and interesting ways to do it!

In today's world we all have enough space in our hearts for a little more understanding.. care.. support.. time to spend with special people.. laughter.. light and most of all.. LOVE!!

Whatever you have to give.. go out there and give it to the people who need it.. want it.. are open to receive it and are truly grateful for it! Give freely and generously and be prepared for the tsunami that will come your way in return!

Thank you so much (as always) for reading and if you choose to write a comment.. please share your name before or after you write it! God bless always!!

HOSPITALITY.. to the highest level..

There are times and occasions in life when you just know that the powers that be are smiling down on you.. and that you are blessed beyond measure.. I have been overwhelmingly blessed to have felt that way for the last 50 days!

Yes.. it has been truly magical.. the last 50 days of my life! I was on holiday with friends.. we travelled out of their city.. came back home.. travelled again out of their country.. and came back home again.. and now I'm finally on my way back home!

Family (theirs.. whom I have pretty adopted as mine too) came to visit.. The house was full of family.. friendship.. food and fun and it was truly fabulous.. we were all together.. and then each of us did our own thing as well whenever we felt like it..

It's kind of incredible when you think of ten (yes.. TEN) different ages and temperaments all having fun under the same roof.. but that is exactly how it was..

The hostess with the MOSTEST.. the lady of the house.. is the most relaxed person.. she is Superwoman (as I think most women who live in the Western world are).. everyone wakes up when they want.. everyone eats when they want.. everyone is free to do whatever they like! 

She is a phenomenal cook and her kitchen and larder are wide open.. just help yourself to whatever you like from an extensive variety of nuts.. fruit.. dessert.. chocolate.. ice cream.. bread.. cheese.. juice.. soft drinks.. and I could go on and on! 

The host and head of the family is warm friendly and a great conversationalist in addition to being a devout Buddhist who loves reading and then discussing spirituality.. we had some amazing conversations which I will cherish for always!

The daughter of the house is gorgeous both outside and in.. a masterchef herself she is charming helpful and has a hysterical sense of humour! She is extremely creative (like her mother) and has a definite flair for the dramatic which makes for an entertaining atmosphere!

The son of the house studies at University but I got to spend some time with him since he was on a short break after finishing his summer internship.. Quiet for the most part but extremely bright and a phenomenal Taboo and Rummikub player.. really put me under pressure to do my best!

And that brings me to the last (but by no means the least) two most precious members of the family.. the puppies! Adorable is an understatement.. playful frisky gentle and always hungry or else up to something.. they are the heart of the house and rightly so! 

We did just about everything.. shopping.. faffing.. going for massages.. pampering sessions at the salon and nail spa.. lolling around chatting.. sharing life experiences and giving each other life lessons.. really!!

Their home is a space of caring.. sharing.. warmth.. laughter.. gentle teasing.. silly jokes.. and full of positive energy! It was such a privilege and blessing to have spent seven weeks with them (which is also my longest holiday ever)! 

Bonds have strengthened.. mutual respect has been cemented and the love and affection have only grown! At no point did I ever feel the tiniest bit homesick.. but am obviously delighted to finally be going home to my own little bed now!

Am not naming names but this level of hospitality is rare and you have to be really lucky to experience it! Of course I am super impressed that they could cope with me and all my masti and incessant giggles and crazy jokes for seven weeks and have issued an open invitation to go and stay whenever I like as well! (some people like to give themselves grief!!)

Thank you my wonderful family.. so very much.. and remain blessed because thats exactly what you deserve.. today tomorrow and always! Missing the energy and positivity and puppies and all of you so very much already.. but I carry you all with me in my heart! God bless and much love always!! ❤️ 

Thank you for reading (as always) and do remember tonadd your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

FRIENDSHIP DAY.. is a wonderful opportunity!

So today is another one of those very special red letter days in the year for me! For most people it is Friendship Day while for me.. it is a wonderful opportunity!

It is an opportunity to acknowledge and be grateful for the blessing of pure clean and solid friendships in my life! 

Being single and having lost both my parents for many years now.. life could have gotten very lonely and depressing.. had it not been for my friends..

Genuine friends are the people I can't imagine my world without.. the ones who always show up.. and just know when I need them!

Real friends are the people whose souls are connected inextricably to mine.. and that's the way I want to keep them..

Solid friends aren't the ones who say good things to my face.. they are the ones who won't believe the bad things said about me behind my back!

Pure friendships are the ones where there are no expectations from each other.. but integrity to for and with each other is a "default setting"..

Clean friendships are the ones where every conversation is rooted in love care and mutual respect..

True friendships are the ones where you are "partners in crime" and keep each other on the "straight and narrow" simultaneously! 

We don't need a multitude of friends to navigate life happily but we do need a few for sure..

We need them to keep our spirits upbeat and buoyant especially during difficult times.. 

We need them to help us keep our faith in ourselves strong.. especially at the times we don't feel so confident..

We need them to make sure we get to double the joys and halve the troubles..

We need them so that they have us as sounding boards.. sheet anchors and anchors during the storms of life..

We need them so thatour faith in the essential goodness of human nature remains intact!

We need them so we can be witness to the events of their lives and they are witnesses to the events of ours..

Best friends are the ones you can call and say "I'm hungry and coming over.. what is there to eat?" or "Life feels crappy today.. come over" or "No one understands my words.. how do you understand my silence"? or simply "My life is so much better because you're in it"

And then there are the friends who you HAVE to talk to everyday.. because your day doesnt feel complete otherwise!

All those of you who qualify in any or all of the above categories know who you are.. so for a change I won't add your namrs here and embarrass you.. but Happy Friendship Day to you all and to all those of you reading!

Know that you are truly loved appreciated and cherished for being who you are in my life.. and that I am so blessed and grateful to know count and love you as a special friend! 

Today I am grateful for the opportunity to share my life..time.. thoughts.. words.. feelings.. love and life with you!

Thank you as always for reading and do please add your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!

WITH HEARTFELT GRATITUDE.. to every one of you!!

As a schoolgirl.. English was my favourite subject.. I loved the magic of words.. learning new words.. what they meant.. the context in which they could and should be used and so on..

My father was a wordsmith as well and encouraged my huge love for words.. and seeing that the apple never falls too far from the tree.. here I am writing yet another blog to you.. but this one's for me!

All of you who read my blogs also read my "morning magic" and you know that gratitude kindness and compassion are the essential core components of my life.. right? 

RIGHT!! 

So let me share something special with you.. it's my birthday soon.. on Friday the 25th of July! Growing up it was always a big deal and there was always a big birthday party with great food (I can see some of you smiling and wondering.. so what's the big deal? It's still like that!) 

This time it's not about what I want.. but about what I have received and am grateful for.. 

This time it is to express my gratitude to you all for indulging me and reading what I write..

This time it is to say it is such a privilege and honour when any of you trust me enough to write in to say "Thank you.. I really need to read this today" or "Your message helped me cope with something tough" or "It gave me another perspective"..

This time it is to let you know that I am so grateful for the reader base of almost 225 family.. friends.. and friends who are more than family where I had started writing with perhaps 5 to 7 people..

This time it is to say that there are no more "Monday morning blues" in my life.. because I look forward to starting the week by hoping for inspiration and sharing some "words of wisdom" with you..

This time it is to say thank you for allowing me into your phones and days and lives just to "share the sunshine" for those few minutes daily!

This time it is to say thank you for sharing your stories struggles challenges joys and triumphs.. it touches my heart in a special way to be a part of your story..

This time it is to share that I feel incredibly blessed to have the gift of expressing my thoughts  feelings and emotions which enables me to connect with the people who matter to me at a meaningful level..

This blog is especially close to my heart because it is the landmark 100th blog I have written! Every blog has been inspired by something that moved me deeply.. and today I would like to know your thoughts.. Should I stop or should I continue writing? 

And saving the best for last.. thank you all for being my most wonderful birthday presents!!

Thank you as always for writing and please remember to share your name at the beginning or end of your comment (should you choose to write one)!